Oh, Baby
by Randomonium
Summary: A drunken encounter with a certain colleague leaves Temari with a little souvenir. This is Temari and Shikamaru's journey to parenthood. AU, ShikaTema. Rated T for language, rating may change later on.
1. Chapter 1

Oh, Baby

**Oh, Baby**

"Fuck!" Temari swore.

Secchan, Temari's roommate and best friend, poked her head into the bathroom to see Temari slowly and repeatedly hitting her head against the wall.

"Uh…I take it something's wrong?" Secchan surmised. "I would say you got your period, but this is slightly drastic."

"I _didn't _get my period, that's the problem. I haven't gotten my period for the last two fucking months," Temari said irritably, desisting in her quest to either a) create a hole in the wall, or b) flatten her head.

"Oh." Secchan paused. "…that's bad, right?"

Temari looked at her with a well-duh-what-the-fuck-else-would-it-be look on her face.

Secchan recognized the look (it was one of Temari's favourites) and thought further. "Right. So it would be bad because… if you haven't gotten your period that means that you're either anorexic, which you're not, going through menopause, and you're way to young for that, or pr- oh shit."

"My sentiments exactly. And the fucking pregnancy test confirms it."

Secchan considered this, then (being the optimistic person she was) perked up. "Hey, at least we know that your puking in the morning isn't a bed!"

Temari glared at her friend. "And that's good because…?"

"I won't catch it!" Secchan grinned.

Temari threw the soap at her. "YOU'RE NOT MAKING ME FEEL BETTER!!"

Secchan dodged the soap quite easily. "You're pregnant. Nothing's gonna make you feel better."

"SECCHAN! OUT!" Temari yelled, throwing a shampoo bottle at Secchan. "YOU ARE THE MOST INSENSITIVE WART EVER!! WHY AM I FRIENDS WITH YOU!!"

"Cos you looove me," came Secchan's flippant answer from the relative safety of behind the wall.

"THAT WAS A RHETORICAL QUESTION!!"

o0o0o0o

Later, Temari had calmed down and stopped trying to grievously injure Secchan- well, more than she usually did, anyway. Secchan still wanted to discuss this latest development in Temari's life. Temari was not appreciating this, but didn't really have much of a choice.

"Hey, Temari, one question: who's the father?"

"That's part of the fucking problem. I don't know who the fuck the father is, or could be, because I haven't had sex in like the last five months," Temari groaned with a pillow over her face.

"But you must have, you're pregnant, and unless it was a immaculate conception, which I highly doubt it was, you have to have had sex, there's no other way to get pregnant.'

Temari removed the pillow from her face.

"You think I don't know that? I'm completely at a loss as to who it could be!"

They sat there in silence for a little bit, both thinking about who it could be.

"Hey, Temari, remember that one day a couple months ago when you came back in the morning after you'd been out the night before and you had a terrible hangover and you were kinda spazzing out because you'd woken up in bed with that guy you really liked- Shikamaru, that was his name- and you were both starkers so you had obviously had sex and you said you could hardly look him in the face and you didn't want to ever see him again because now he would see you as a slut who would fall into bed with any guy at the slightest hint of alcohol and you couldn't remember how you had gotten into that situation in the first place because you had had a terrible day and had gone to the bar specifically to get as drunk as you could and you couldn't remember even meeting Shikamaru but anyway you couldn't believe you had actually slept with his and mores the pity you couldn't remember it, but you liked him so much and now he was sure to think you a slut and-" Secchan prattled.

"I thought we'd agreed never to talk of that again," Temari loudly interrupted.

"Yes, but I just wondered if Shikamaru could be the dad?" Secchan suggested.

Temari was silent for a moment, and then groaned loudly and replaced the pillow over her face.

"Hmm? Could he be?" Secchan asked.

"He's the only possibility!" was Temari's muffled reply.

There was silence for a bit. But Secchan wasn't good with silence.

"So…when are you gonna tell him?" asked Secchan.

"Do I have to? I was planning to pass that part by…" Temari answered.

"Of course you have to! There's no question about it, you must tell him!" Secchan cried.

"But I don't want to! I don't want to face him!" Temari wailed.

"But you have to! Temari, -"

"I've barely spoken to him since _that _incident!" Temari cut in.

"You have to at least tell him! Some time, you're going to have to tell him and give him the chance to say whether he wants to be a father or not!" Secchan told her sternly.

Temari groaned. "When did you become so serious and goddamn logical?"

"I have my moments."

'Once in a blue moon!"

"Yes, about that often." There was a short silence.

"Secchan, what the fuck am I going to do?" Temari asked.

There was a pause before Secchan answered. "…is that another rhetorical question?" she queried.

The pillow came down for Temari to stare at her odd friend.

o0o0o0o

The next day, Temari was at work, and Secchan had coerced her into believing that telling Shikamaru was the right thing to do. Temari was seriously considering chickening out, and she would, but Secchan had threatened to phone Shikamaru and tell him herself if Temari didn't tell him (Actually, Temari would have happily gone with that idea, but Secchan insisted she tell him). So, once at work, Temari summoned her courage, squared her shoulders, and walked towards Shikamaru's desk. A couple meters away, she turned back. Then turned around again. She went through this process about three times before taking a deep breath and marching right up to his desk.

"Shikamaru," she said.

He looked up in surprise. "Temari, hi! How are you?"

_That's it, no turning back now. _"Pregnant."

Shikamaru blinked a couple times as he processed this word. "Pregnant? You? Uh…sorry…that came out wrong…I mean…you're pregnant?" he asked.

"Yes," she replied, anxiously awaiting his response.

"Oh. Um…well, uh…congratulations. Who's the lucky guy?" he asked, looking kinda sad (She had no idea why).

She looked at him for a couple seconds. "Aren't you supposed to be some sort of genius or something?"

He blinked, surprised again. "Uh…apparently…but…what does that have to do with who the father is?"

She stared at him for a couple more seconds then watched in fascination as realization dawned on his face (with all the speed of paint drying). "Oh wait…"

"You figured it out yet?" she asked.

"You mean to say that _I'm _the father of the child?" Shikamaru asked (sincerely hoping he was right for two reasons, one being that if he wasn't right, he would look like an absolute idiot).

"Yes," Temari confirmed.

"Oh. Oh. Well...oh." Shikamaru was at a loss for words.

"I'm not asking you to take any responsibility or anything, my friend just thought-" _demanded, _more like "-that I should tell you. That you might want to know," Temari said awkwardly. _This was a stupid idea. Why did I have to listen to Secchan/ Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid!_

"No!" Shikamaru's outburst stopped Temari mentally berating herself as it was her turn to be surprised.

"Huh?"

"Um…I…I want to take responsibility."

Temari blinked. "Huh?"

"I want to take responsibility," Shikamaru repeated.

"Why?" Temari asked.

"Why? Uh… because if I have a child- or when, I should say-" Shikamaru laughed nervously. "-I want to be a part of it's life, I guess. Um…yeah."

"But…you're so lazy!" Temari blurted. She blushed and squeezed her eyes shut.

_Stupid brain! You're not supposed to embarrass me like that!_

_Excuse me, the mouth is the one that said it!_

_You thought it first!_

_Wait… who else is in there?_

"Who else is in where?" Shikamaru's voice broke into Temari's confusion. Her eyes snapped open.

"I didn't say that out loud!"

Shikamaru looked at her oddly. "Uh…yes you did."

Temari groaned and closed her eyes again.

_Okay, I blame the mouth! Stupid thing lives to make me look retarded._

_Thank you! You agree!_

_You're both ganging up against me…_

_Oh for crying out loud…_

Temari opened her eyes. "Excuse me for a second," she said politely. She walked over to the wall and banged her head against it. She straightened up, shook her head and calmly walked back to Shikamaru's desk. "That shut them up."

Shikamaru looked at her, concerned. "Are you feeling ok?"

"Oh, yes, completely fine," Temari assured him with a cheerful smile.

Shikamaru eyed her warily. "Right…"

"Well, I've got to get to work now. We'll talk another time. Goodbye." Temari calmly greeted him with a smile and walked away.

Shikamaru leaned back in his chair and watched the (quite possibly a little crazy) mother of his unborn child (!!Scary thought!!) thoughtfully (And maybesortakindadefinitely checking out her ass- what? He could look, couldn't he? And it was a hot ass… cue guilty (and naughty) thoughts)

"Shikamaru, are you checking out Temari's ass?" Shikamaru snapped out of his… uh… reverie at the question, jumping a little in his seat.

"Chouji!" he exclaimed, looking up to see his friend and colleague, who was eating chips.

"You were, weren't you?"

Shikamaru avoided his gaze. "Maybe…"

"Dude, I know you like her. Why'd she come over, anyway?" Chouji asked.

Shikamaru took a deep breath and held it for a bit. He let it out. "She's pregnant."

"Temari? Cool. What does that have to do with you?"

"I'm the father," Shikamaru told him.

Chouji choked. After a minute, he had removed whatever was obstructing his throat, and he was able to talk.

"You…?! But that would mean that you two…!"

Shikamaru nodded.

"How?! When?!" Chouji demanded, "And why didn't you tell me?!"

"A couple months ago. We were drunk and woke up in my bed the next morning. I have absolutely no recollection as to how we ended up in that situation. And I didn't tell you because…well, I was kinda embarrassed," Shikamaru explained.

"Embarrassed? Why?"

"I don't know. I just was. Fuck if I can understand myself sometimes," Shikamaru sighed.

"Mmm. Yeah. I don't understand you most of the time. Anyway, you gonna ask her out?" Chouji asked.

"What? Ask her out/ Why would I do that?" Shikamaru asked.

Chouji shrugged. "You like her, don't you?"

"Well, yeah, but… dude, I just knocked her up. I don't think she's feeling too kindly towards me right now. I'm more likely to get a slap then a date," Shikamaru pointed out.

"Then don't ask her out on a date date. Just ask her to dinner." Chouji munched more chips.

"…Chouji, I think that classifies as a date."

"Not if you say you need to discuss the baby and related stuff so why not do it over dinner. Then it's not _really _a date. Just dinner," Chouji said.

Shikamaru considered this. "You know…"

"Then you just need to work your way into her good graces. After all, you were both pissed and it does take two to tango."

Shikamaru snorted. "We weren't exactly doing the tango."

Chouji munched some more chips and shrugged again. "Whatever. The horizontal tango."

"Unless you screwed her to the wall, then it wouldn't be horizontal," A new voice cut in.

Chouji and Shikamaru turned to look at their co-worker and friend, Kiba, startled.

"Were you…did you hear the entire conversation?" asked Shikamaru.

"Nope, just heard 'the horizontal tango'. Could only be one thing." Kiba shrugged. "So who are we talking about?" He looked from Shikamaru to Chouji expectantly.

"Shikamaru and Temari had a drunken one-night stand and now she's got a bun in the oven," Chouji shared.

Shikamaru's jaw dropped. Kiba raised his eyebrows and gave a slow whistle. "Wow. That's quite something. Don't envy you, dude."

"Chouji!" Shikamaru exploded. 'You… gah… mean… you… just… arg…. me… humph…"

Kiba leaned to Chouji. "What's he sputtering about?"

Chouji was viewing Shikamaru with a look of mild interest. "No clue."

"You don't just blurt out something like that to every Tom, Dick and Harry that walks by!" Shikamaru finally found the words.

"It was Dick that got you into this situation in the first place, so I think he has a right to know," Kiba snickered.

Shikamaru glowered. "I'm going to… I'm just going." He got up and stalked off, mumbling something along the lines of: "…twisting my words… some friends… entire office… troublesome…"

Meanwhile, Temari had been seriously considering jumping off the balcony. Seriously. But she was afraid of heights, and anyway, Secchan called.

"So didja tell him?" Secchan asked eagerly the second Temari answered the phone.

"Secchan, I've been at work for half an hour, fuck," Temari groaned.

"Oh. So you haven't told him yet." Secchan sounded disappointed.

"No, I did," Temari sighed.

"Yay!" And Secchan was excited again.

"I was on the verge of going bungee jumping off the balcony with no bungee cord."

"Yeah, whatever." Secchan dismissed it. "So… how'd he take it?"

"He actually wants to take responsibility. He took it fairly well actually."

"Oh, that's so great! Temari,-"

"And the man in question is walking this way. Listen, Secchan, I have to go. Talk to you later. Bye," Temari quickly said, glancing up and seeing Shikamaru approaching her desk.

"Bye!" called Secchan as Temari hung up.

"Shikamaru!" Temari said brightly as he reached her desk.

"Hey, Temari," he greeted. Neither of them said anything for a little bit.

"So… uh… why did you come over here?" Temari asked.

"Oh yeah. I came to apologize. I… uh… kinda told Chouji that you're… um… yeah, anyway, he let it slip to Kiba, so… the whole building is probably going to know by lunchtime. Sorry. I completely blame Chouji," Shikamaru explained.

Temari blinked. "That it? Oh. Oh no, it's fine. They would've found out anyway, it's not as if I could hide it. I don't mind," Temari reassured him.

_Great. Half of them are gonna think I'm a slut, though. Oh well. I'll survive._

_I think the balcony's looking very good right now…_

_No, that'll look like I'm scared._

…_and you're not?_

_Yes, I am, but it'll look cowardly._

"Oh. Okay." Shikamaru laughed. "That's a relief. But… uh… that's not the only reason I came over. Um… are you doing anything tonight?"

Temari blinked again. She seemed to be doing that a lot lately. "Nothing that immediately comes to mind, no. Why?"

"Um… well, we have to discuss… um… the… uh… baby… and… stuff-" Shikamaru was proving to be really bad at this sort of thing. "-so… uh… I was wondering… if… you would like to… uh… do so over dinner tonight? My treat." He inhaled inwardly. That's the hard part over with.

"Dinner? Uh… okay," Temari agreed (after blinking a few times, of course.).

"Huh? I mean… cool. So… should I pick you up?" Shikamaru offered.

"Ok…" Temari agreed.

_I get the feeling I'm forgetting something. Something important._

…_Has he ever been to your place, love?_

"Oh right!" Temari said out loud. She grinned at him sheepishly.

"You need my address."

Shikamaru smiled. "That might help, yes," he commented as she furiously scribbled down her address. She tore off the piece of paper and handed it to him.

"Thank you, ma'am," he said, executing a small bow as he folded and pocketed the paper. "So, I'll see you later, then. At… say, 6?"

Temari nodded. "Sounds good. Oh, and I'd like to apologize in advance for my flatmate."

Shikamaru raised his eyebrows. "I'll keep that in mind, if she needs apologizing for."

"Oh, she will," Temari assured him. "Trust me on it." She rolled her eyes.

"Okay, then, I will. See you at 6, then?" Shikamaru asked, starting to back away from her desk.

'Yeah. See you then," Temari confirmed, waving.

He grinned and waved back, turning to face the way he was going, lest he walk into something or someone.

Temari let out a small sigh as she watched him go, and rested her chin in her hand.

_I could easily fall in love with that guy…_

She shook her head to clear it.

_Right. Work. Gotta work._

**A/N: And so ends the first chapter. You know, I lost ****this manuscript for two months and I found in a place I **_**swear **_**I had looked **_**more **_**than once before. I was like 'OMFG WTF WHERE THE HELL DID THAT COME FROM??' My mom reckons that there are goblins that steal odd socks and medicine cups (and our house keys, occasionally) and that there is a big cave somewhere with a whole pile of odd socks and medicine cups in it (And people wonder where I get my craziness from…) and I reckon that very same goblin took this (unfinished!!) story for a couple months. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it, and **_**pleeeeaaaase **_**tell me what you thought and whether I should continue it or not. I THRIVE ON REVIEWS!! THE MORE REVIEWS I GET, THE MORE MOTIVATED I AM TO CONTINUE A STORY!! And with that said….review? **


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter

**Chapter**

"Secchan! Secchan!" Temari yelled as she banged here way into the flat. "Secchan! Where are you?"

Secchan ambled into the lounge, munching on a piece of toast. "I'm here, geez. Where's the fire?"

"ShikamaruaskedmetodinnertonightandIsaidyesadhe'scomingtopickmeupatsix!" Temari squealed, grabbing her friend's shoulders.

Secchan raised her eyebrows, startled, as her friend shook here like a rag doll. "Love, I didn't catch a word you just said."

Temari took a deep breath. "Shikamaru asked me to dinner to discuss the baby. He's picking me up at six," she said slowly.

Secchan squealed and started jumping up and down. And then choked as she inhaled the crumbs of the piece of toast she had been eating. Temari slapped her on the back as she bent double, hands on knees and eyes watering. When that didn't work, Temari dashed for a glass of water. She came back in and handed it to Secchan. Secchan grabbed it and downed it.

"Thanks," she gasped, wiping her eyes. She gave a final cough. "Temari, that's great!" she squealed. "Okay, so, I think daddy likes you, and this could evolve into a relationship."

"Secchan, I don't think so, hey. He's just… taking responsibility," Temari said.

"What happened to the overly excited girl who came in?"

"Our personality swap was over, so she returned to you," Temari said dryly.

"Whatever. So… what are you gonna wear?"

"Clothes."

"I dunno, hey, you might stand a better chance of hooking him if you go naked."

Temari gasped. "You bitch!" She took a swipe at her giggling friend.

"You know I love you," cooed Secchan between giggles.

o0o0o0o

Shikamaru found Temari's place without much trouble. He arrived on time (5 minutes is not late.) and stood in front of the door. He knocked. He heard a muffled yell that sounded like Temari saying 'Secchan, stay the fuck away from that door!' and then the door opened to a giggling girl with black and red hair.

"Hi."

"…Hi. Um, I'm here for Temari."

The girl looked at him. "So you're the dad. My, that's going to be one good-looking baby."

"Uh-"

"Temari-biscuit, Loverboy's here!" she yelled over her shoulder. She grinned at a surprised Shikamaru (Had he just been referred to as _Loverboy?!_). "I'm Secchan."

"Secchan, you are so dead. When I get back, I am going to smother you while you sleep, or put arsenic in your coffee," Temari declared as she hurried out the bedroom, cheeks burning. "Either way, you will be dead. As in not living."

"Yeah, whatever."

"Stop saying that like you don't believe me!" Temari told here as she slipped out the door.

"Hi," she greeted Shikamaru.

"Hey," he said with a smile.

She glanced back at Secchan. "Can we go now?"

"Have fun! I won't wait up, and if you only come back tomorrow morning, at least you'll remember how it was!" Secchan called bawdily from the door.

"Should I kill her now or later?" asked Temari. "Now," she decided and turned back to the door. Shikamaru caught her arm.

"Leave her. She means no harm," he said with a shrug.

" I mean her harm," Temari declared, beet red. "But ok, I'll leave it for now."

They started walking towards his car. "You know, I've never been referred to as 'Loverboy' before," Shikamaru mentioned.

Temari's cheeks flared up again. "Yeah… Told you she needed apologizing for.'

Shikamaru laughed. "She seems like fun."

"I'm feeling very mutinous towards her right now, so you're not going to get anything nice about her out of me," Temari told him.

"Okay." He left it while they got in the car. He then glanced at her. "Oh yeah. Temari-biscuit?" he asked.

Temari whipped her head around to look at him. That was a definite smirk on his face.

"That's what happens when you've known someone your entire life. You get odd nicknames."

"I think it's cute.'

"Don't you _dare_ start calling me that!"

Shikamaru laughed again. "Ok. I promise I won't.'

Temari smiled sweetly. "Thank you."

"It's the least I can do for the mother of my unborn child," he said. And immediately regretted it as an awkward silence filled the car.

Temari looked out the window.

_Well, that effectively killed the mood._

_What mood? There was no mood._

_Yes there was! There was a mood of… of camaraderie!_

_Yeah, yeah. He was just being friendly._

…_That's what camaraderie is, retard._

_Oh…_

"You know, that is an incredibly scary thought," Temari said quietly.

"What is?"

"That I'm going to be a mother. That I am going to have a thing gestating inside of me for the next seven months," Temari explained.

Shikamaru was silent as he contemplated this. "That is a pretty scary thought. I think the father gets the easy job," he mentioned.

"Yeah, I reckon you do," Temari laughed. "You don't do much, really. Not during the pregnancy, in any case. Even in the earlier months the baby will still be largely dependant on me, because I plan to breastfeed it."

Shikamaru had to concentrate hard on the road to keep from imagining Temari's breasts. Eh-hem. Let's just stop those naughty thoughts right there. Let's not crash the car.

"Uh… Temari… you know… if you… I'm here for you. Through this," Shikamaru said, concentrating very hard on the road.

"Thanks," she replied quietly, her heart melting. Why did he have to be so goddamn nice?!

Shikamaru nodded. "Uh… pleasure."

_Crick, crick._

_Shut u-up._

They rode in silence until they reached the restaurant, aside from the usual 'so, how is work?', or 'nice weather we've been having lately'.

What scintillating conversation.

After what seemed longer than it really was, they arrived at the restaurant. They entered and were shown to a table, making small talk all the while.

"So, have you told your parents?" Shikamaru asked when they sat down.

"My parents are dead," Temari said quietly.

"Oh. Sorry." Shikamaru once again felt like a social retard.

"No, it's ok. I haven't told my brothers yet, though," Temari said brightly.

Shikamaru looked up. "You have brothers?"

"Yeah, two younger ones."

Shikamaru cleared his throat and shifted in his chair. "Uh… your brothers… do…. Are they the… uh… protective type?"

Temari thought about this. "You know what? Now that I think about it, I think they are. Well, they've messed around in my love life enough." She laughed, and saw a flash of nervousness cross Shikamaru's face.

"Uh… what do your brothers do, exactly?"

Temari shrugged. "I'm not sure I want to know. When my dad died, they got mixed up with the gangs- I think it might have even been the Mafia. I don't think whatever they do is entirely legal. It was annoying to have Gaara help Kankurou home when he got a bullet in his leg or something. Gaara never seemed to get shot, but Kankurou always was the more reckless one. And I think Gaara was just too good."

Shikamaru had been growing steadily paler throughout Temari's reminiscing, and was now looking quite horrified.

Temari noticed this and grimaced.

"Sorry. I'm not making you feel particularly at ease, am I?"

Shikamaru gave a weak smile. "No, not really. I'm getting slightly worried for my life."

Temari laughed. "Oh, don't worry, they won't hurt you. Well… I don't think so, anyway."

"That is not the most encouraging statement I have ever heard," Shikamaru told her.

Temari chuckled. "No, I guess not. Tell you what, I'll tell them they can't do anything to you, or they'll face my wrath."

Shikamaru raised an eyebrow. "You think that'll work?"

Temari matched his expression. "My wrath is very scary. Yes, I think it will."

A smirk pulled at Shikamaru's lips. "Are you sure?"

"As sure as I can be," Temari answered confidently.

"You're lying, aren't you?"

"Absolutely." They both laughed.

"No, I really do think that they'll lay off a little bit, at least," Temari insisted.

Shikamaru grinned. "That's good enough for me. Of course, you could always give me pictures of them, and I could hide if I saw them coming," he quipped.

"Oh, they're very good at sneaking up on people without them noticing," Temari remarked airily.

Shikamaru gulped. "Then I'll just trust you."

Temari laughed. "Are you going to tell your family?"

Shikamaru chewed on his lip briefly. "Uh… I would take the easy way and say no, I'm not going to tell them- but I reckon it will eventually come out and my mother will kill me for hiding it from her. But if I do tell her, I'll be subjected to a lecture. Either way, it's exceedingly troublesome."

"Nothing from your dad?" Temari asked.

"He'd probably put in a few words when goaded by my mom, but… I don't actually know," Shikamaru found, slightly surprised. "I've never actually contemplated this situation before."

"You and me both," Temari laughed wryly.

"Well, I guess it's not something the average twenty-odd year old would think about," Shikamaru reasoned.

'Especially when they haven't had sex for ages," Temari muttered, half to herself.

Shikamaru smirked. "Yes, especially then."

Temari flushed a pale pink when she realised he had heard that. "Um... yeah... Hey, where's that waitress got to?" Shikamaru laughed as she scanned the restaurant- he could recognise a huge change in subject when there was one.

The rest of the evening was spent amiably, with the two greatly enjoying each other's company. They skirted the topic of the baby, both still not entirely comfortable with the idea yet.

Afterwards, Shikamaru behaved like an absolute gentleman and walked her to her door.

"So, uh..." he said, rocking on the balls of his feet.

"Yeah..."

They stood there in silence for a little bit.

_Well, this isn't awkward at all..._

_You know, sarcasm is the lowest from of wit._

_As said by those who are incapable of it's proper use and therefore suffer from it often._

_...Are you trying to say something?_

_Who, me? Now why on Earth would I be doing that?_

_...I hate sarcasm._

"Um... I had a good time tonight," Temari said quietly.

"Yeah, so did I..." Shikamaru laughed.

More silence.

…_This is getting faintly repetitive._

_Well, what's your suggestion, then?_

_Jump him._

…_I knew asking you was a bad idea._

"So…yeah. I'll see you around?" Shikamaru asked.

"Well, yeah, guess so."

…_So?_

_So what?_

_Are you gonna jump him?_

…_Uh, no._

_God, you're no fun at all._

"Thanks again, hey." Temari said.

Shikamaru nodded. "Pleasure. Uh… Bye, then."

"Goodnight," Temari greeted, opening her door.

"Night." Shikamaru waved, and headed to his car as she entered here house, mentally berating himself for not kissing her- well, with one half of his mind, anyway.

Back at the ranch, Temari was having a similar argument in her own mind. Secchan, of course, took the side of the part that said she should've jumped him. Temari sarcastically thanked her for the support- thanks Secchan cheerfully accepted.

As she went to sleep, Temari reflected on the day's happenings.

_All in all, the day didn't go too badly._

_Aside from the fact you didn't jump him._

…_shut uuup._

_o0o0o0o_

**A/N: I swear, my shift button is broken. Anyway. And so ends the second chapter. I hope you're enjoying reading this as much as I am enjoying writing it. Remember, I need to know what you thought about the story and whether or not you enjoyed it, otherwise I'll become demotivated and won't write. cue sad face and puppy dog eyes**

**That's a roundabout way of saying PLEASE REVIEW!! **


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

The next week or so went past without much of interest occurring. Shikamaru and Temari formulated a friendship, and discovered that they enjoyed each other's company very much. Temari was cursing him internally for just being so goddamn likeable, and Shikamaru was secretly wondering if she might not be just a little… cuckoo. He was almost certain he had caught her talking to herself a couple times.

There were still slightly uncomfortable hitches in the conversation when the baby was brought up, but they were on their way to deciding what was going to be done before and after the birth (read: they knew the baby was going to be born. Other than that, well…).

All in all, things were going well.

"Hey, Temari," Kiba greeted one day at work, perching himself at the end of her desk.

"Uh, hi, Kiba," Temari said, rather surprised.

"How's pregnancy treating you?" he asked.

Temari raised her eyebrows. "You sure do know how to start a conversation," she remarked dryly.

Kiba shrugged and grinned. "I try."

"That was sarcasm, Inuzuka."

"Oh, are we using surnames now? But yeah, I realized it was sarcasm," Kiba replied.

Temari was strongly reminded of Secchan. She reluctantly grinned. "Just checking. Incidentally, pregnancy is treating fairly well. Aside from the morning sickness and odd cravings."

"That's good to know. Hey, listen, y'know it's Shikamaru's birthday next week, right?"

Now Temari was even more surprised. "It is?"

"He didn't tell you?... Actually, I can believe that. He reckons birthdays- especially his own- are troublesome. Anyway, that's why I and other people are organizing a party for him next weekend, and seeing as you two are so _close…_" He threw her a roguish wink, causing her to glare at him.

"I can push you off the desk," Temari warned.

He let out a bark of laughter. "Yeah, figured that'd be the reaction. But I meant as friends."

Temari snorted. "Yeah, I'm gonna believe that."

"Suit yourself. That's not the point. What I was gonna say is d'ya wanna come?"

Temari considered this. "This party, does he know about it?"

"Nope," Kiba cheerfully told her. "If he did, he'd go into hiding."

"It's gonna be big, isn't it?" Temari asked wryly.

"Huge," Kiba agreed.

Temari grinned. "Can I bring a friend?"

"Oh yeah, of course. So, you coming?" Kiba asked.

"Yeah, might as well. Should be fun," Temari acquiesced.

"Awesome. So I'll give you the details later, yeah?" Kiba grinned.

"That'll work. How do you plan to get Shikamaru to the party?"

"Uh… we'll kidnap him?" Kiba suggested.

"…Yeah, that'll work," Temari said sceptically, "He'll never suspect anything."

Kiba waved his hand impatiently. "Doesn't matter if he figures it out on the night. He would no matter what we did. Just so long as he doesn't figure it out beforehand."

"Why not beforehand?"

"Because he'll just disappear on the day, and no-one will have a clue where he is," Kiba explained.

"Why do I get the feeling that this has happened before?" Temari asked.

"We try it every year. I reckon he actually knows exactly what is gonna happen, but it's like a game with him. As long as we don't make it too obvious or easy to figure it out he's okay with pretending to be surprised. Not that he's very good at it."

"Ah. So… it's like a tradition, then."

"Yeah… I guess," Kiba agreed.

"Oi! Inuzuka! Aren't you supposed to be working?" yelled Tenten, "We're meant to be going to a meeting now, remember? You're not getting paid to chat."

"Coming," replied Kiba, sliding off the desk. "So, yeah, see you later," he said to Temari.

"Yeah." Temari nodded as he walked towards Tenten.

"Hey, Temari, how're you doing?" Tenten asked Temari.

"Good, thanks, and you?" Temari replied.

"Great. How's Secchan?" Tenten was an old friend of Temari and Secchan's.

"She's Secchan. Is she ever not absolutely fantastic?" Temari pointed out.

Tenten laughed. "You have a point. The ten percent of the time she's not absolutely fantastic she's really fucked up."

"That's for sure," Temari agreed.

"Hey, who's chatting now?" demanded Kiba.

Tenten rolled her eyes. "Chat later, 'Mari." Temari nodded in greeting as Tenten turned back to Kiba. "I was not chatting, I was exchanging pleasantries, you little twat."

"It sure looked like chatting to me," Kiba maintained.

"Well you're an idiot," Tenten retorted.

"How did you come to that conclusion?" Kiba enquired.

"By looking at you. It's obvious, really. Written all over your face," Tenten snidely remarked as they wandered out of Temari's earshot.

"I resent that," Kiba loudly declared as they turned the corner.

Temari grinned.

_Good lord, he's practically exactly like Secchan!_

_Rather… _

_I wonder what would happen should those two meet… ooh, maybe the world'll explode!! That would be so awesome…_

_... right. You're insane. _

_Oh, says you._

_What's that supposed to mean/_

_What I mean is…HEY LOOK, A CHICKEN!!_

_What? Where?... Eh-hem. And you wonder why I think you're insane._

_Heh… flying monkey?_

_I disown you as a voice in my head!! DISOWN YOU!!_

…

_Don't not say anything to me in that tone of voice!_

…

_What did I just say?_

_And you say I'M insane!!_

o0o0o0o

"Secchan, are you up to a party next week?" Temari called as she dropped pasta into the pot.

"Am I ever not up to a party?" Secchan asked.

"Point taken.'

"What's the event?" Secchan inquired.

"It's a surprise birthday party for Shikamaru," Temari replied.

"Loverboy has a birthday?"

Temari turned and simply looked at Secchan.

"Doesn't everyone?"

Secchan shrugged. "I guess. So, cool. But… a birthday party? That sounds so fucking juvenile."

"It's being organized by one of the biggest party animals in the building. I'm pretty damn sure it's not gonna be juvenile. It's probably gonna be seriously fucking debauched, especially if you go."

"I'm assuming the person organizing it is a guy."

"Yeah."

"It's not the guy Tenten was interested in by any chance, is it?" Secchan asked carelessly.

Temari snorted. "You mean the quiet and contained Hyuuga Neji? Not a fuck."

"Guess not then," Secchan muttered.

"Nah, Neji's the nephew of the owner of the company and he's one of the top business men in the company. He's not much of a party person, from what I've seen and heard."

"Well, he sounds like a boring bastard. Why does Tenten like him, again?" Secchan leaned against the kitchen counter.

"I dunno. She reckons he's hot? She was trained with him, I think. He just rose through the ranks quicker than her," Temari replied.

"Wonder if she reckons Mr. Collar-and-Tie will let loose his wild side in bed," Secchan commented.

"Is everything about sex with you?"

"Um… is that a problem?"

Temari sighed. "Nope, guess not."

"I happen to like sex."

"Secchan, I've known you for pretty much my entire life, I have noticed that."

"Bit hard not to, I figure."

"That too."

"What would you sum me up as?" Secchan suddenly asked Temari, who didn't waste much time in answering.

"A fuzzy nymphomaniac."

-END-

**A/N: I always end up writing a filler chapter when I have a plan for a future event which needs an introduction. Anyhoo… I wrote this in one day. Only one day. Ehm… after about a week with just the title at the top of the page….eh-hem…yeah, so, anyway. This is a bit of a odd chapter. **

**OOH RIGHT!! I knew there was something else I had to say!! About the last sentence- a friend and I got really bored…okay no. We… look, okay, what we do sometimes to entertain ourselves is make up stories using a dictionary… which is well, really weird. ANYHOO.. it's kinda hard to explain- the entire concept of creating stories and assigning attributes to people with a dictionary is rather not heard of. NOT THE POINT. So, we were flicking through the dictionary and we landed on the word 'fuzzy'. So we were like, okay, whatever- and then we read the definition. It seems that another meaning of fuzzy is kinky, which… ruined a couple sayings and songs for us- and to make it worse, we were watching Naruto and Naruto kept calling Lee 'fuzzy eyebrows'. … I'm sure you can imagine our… dismay. Anyway, the thing is, I think Charlie (not her real name- don't ask) has a really… weird and possibly sexually orientated dictionary, because I haven't found that definition in another dictionary yet. Then again, the only dictionaries I have are crap concise school dictionaries, so… yeah. But yeah. POINT IS: fuzzy kinky.**

**I think this has got to be the longest author's note ever.**

**Review?**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

The next weekend came by remarkably quickly in Temari's opinion. Seriously, one minute it was Monday and the day was just _dragging _on, then she blinked and it was Friday.

That goblin stole the time again… Evil goblin…

Not because it stole the time, but because it stole _other_ things… like socks… always the left sock… and weekends (Okay, that was time, but still)… and Temari's sobriety whenever there was a whiff of alcohol (She did NOT have a low alcohol tolerance.)… airtime… Temari's sanity whenever she was around Shikamaru… Temari's sanity full stop…

Wait… how did those last two things get in there? Huh…

One thing it didn't steal was period cramps… but Temari didn't have to worry about _those_ for the next few months, did she now…

She wasn't complaining.

Really.

Whistling- or attempting to, anyway- she opened the front door. Secchan, as usual, was already home, and had forgotten to lock the door.

"Temari. Stop whistling. You sound like a strangled parrot."

_Well, speak of the devil._

_And he shall appear._

…_Don't finish my quotes._

"I've showered. You have the bathroom to yourself for the next… well, for a while," Secchan told her.

"Thank you muchly, and I do not," Temari defended.

"Have you heard yourself lately? You do."

"You're such a bitch," Temari sighed.

"Just saving you from public humiliation," Secchan commented mildly.

"I'm meant to be thankful, aren't I?"

"Mmmhmm."

o0o0o0o

"Can we go can we go can we go can we go can we go can we go can we-"

"Secchan! Shut! Up! Oh my god, do you know how annoying that is?" Temari asked exasperatedly.

Secchan flashed her a bright grin. "Yep. That's exactly why I do it."

Temari rubbed her temple. "Figures."

"So, can we-"

"Yes, we can go," Temari cut her off.

"Yes!"

"Why are you so excited, anyway?"

Secchan shrugged. "Dunno. Nothing better to do. Sounds like it might be fun. You know me, I gravitate towards fun."

"Especially if drinking is involved," Temari remarked dryly.

"Yeah, funny that," Secchan agreed cheerfully.

Temari shook her head resignedly. "You're hopeless. A lost cause."

"That about describes me," Secchan grinned.

"That's not something to be proud about."

And so the two friends made their way out the door and to Shikamaru's 'surprise' birthday party.

o0o0o0o

Temari and Secchan walked into the bustling room. There was quite a lot of people packed into the large space, quite a few of whom Temari recognized from work.

"Temari!" Kiba shouted, walking over to them. "Glad you could come. That should cheer Shikamaru up. He's being a depressed mongoose," he told them confidentially.

Temari raised her eyebrows. "Depressed mongoose?" But her query was lost on Kiba who had just caught sight of Secchan and given her a quick once-over. He gave a slow whistle.

"Oh, don't lead me to temptation- I can find it myself," he commented with a grin, making eye-contact with Secchan. "And who might you be?"

Secchan matched his cheeky grin. "I might be Tinkerbell, but then again, I might not," she replied glibly.

"And who do you want to be?" Kiba maintained eye-contact with her.

"Who do you want me to be?" Secchan countered.

Kiba let out a bark of laughter. "Kiba," he volunteered, holding out his hand.

"Secchan." Secchan shook his hand.

"INUZUKA, GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE!"

Kiba sighed. "I'm being hailed." He shrugged. "I'll be right back. Don't move," he told them and ambled over to the person who had called him, Secchan checking him out as he went.

Secchan turned to face Temari, a cat-that-got-the-cream smirk on her face. "He's cute."

Temari held back a smile. "Who, Kiba? Hmm… I guess he's not too bad looking."

"I know who I'm going for tonight," Secchan purred, her eyes glinting with lust.

"You nymphomaniac," Temari snorted. Secchan assumed an innocent expression and looked at her friend.

"One must do what one loves, must they not?" she asked.

"At least it's not your profession," Temari laughed.

"I haven't ruled that out yet," Secchan replied with a saucy smirk.

"Haven't you already gone through that phase?" pondered Temari.

"Hmm… oh yeah, there was that brief stint at that strip bar," contemplated Secchan, "but that's about as close as I got."

"That's pretty damn close," Temari pointed out. Secchan shrugged.

"Well, yeah, but maybe I want to go all the way." She winked.

Temari rolled her eyes. "You wouldn't be able to choose the guy, love."

"Okay, I'm over it."

"There's a good girl." Temari patted Secchan's shoulder patronizingly. "And that was almost true."

"Except for the good part."

"Except for the good part," Temari agreed.

"So, Temari-biscuit, I meant to ask, are you gonna make a move on Loverboy tonight?" Secchan asked, suddenly changing the topic.

Temari blinked. "What? No."

"Then when the hell are you gonna make a move on him? _Please _do it before you get fat," Secchan pleaded.

"Oh for- Secchan, I'm not going to make a move on him."

"Not necessarily tonight, you've still got a few more months," Secchan assured her.

"No. Secchan, _I'm not making a move on him."_

"At all?"

"At all. No moves are being made," Temari told Secchan firmly.

Secchan huffed. "God, you're no fun at all."

_Hey, that sounds familiar!_

_Well, then it must be true, mustn't it?_

…_Shut up._

"And I'm back," Kiba loudly announced as he returned, effectively cutting off a potential diatribe from Temari. "Didja miss me?"

"Immensely," Secchan purred, back in seductress mode.

"Why don't I get a pretty lady a drink?" Kiba offered his arm out to Secchan.

"That sounds perfectly delectable." Secchan accepted his arm. Temari raised her eyebrows, although not really surprised.

"Ahem. Inuzuka. Before you disappear into the twilight, could you point me in the direction of Shikamaru," Temari caught them before they evaporated.

Kiba turned back to her, distracted. "Huh? Oh, yeah, sure, he's sulking in the corner there." He pointed in the direction of said corner.

"Thanks." Temari started to head off in that direction. As she passed by Secchan, she murmured in her ear: "Bitch. Abandoning me like that."

Secchan just grinned. "Send my best wishes to Loverboy."

Temari shook her head and moved off, leaving Secchan to her latest challenge.

Temari fought his way through the bustling crowd and caught sight of Shikamaru slouching in a chair in a relatively secluded area of the room.

"Hey, Shikamaru!" she called. He looked towards the sound of her voice and a lazy grin crept over his face as he pinpointed the source.

"Ah! Sanity!" he exclaimed.

Temari chuckled at his comment.

_Sanity? Where?_

_KILL EEEET!!_

_No! Shut up! Just…go die in a hole somewhere!_

"Happy birthday," she said when she got close enough for him to hear.

"Thanks," he remarked wryly.

"Secchan sends her best wishes. She's here, but she's been abducted by Kiba," Temari told him as she pulled up a chair.

Glad they had found someone to talk to, the two sat chatting amicably while everyone else hit the bar.

o0o0o0o

"And here's the birthday boy!" shouted Secchan, throwing her arms out, even more exuberant than usual (if that was possible), as she was rather inebriated.

Temari rolled her eyes at her wild friend as she stood in front of them with her hands on her hips and a huge grin on her face.

"It's your birthday! Stop being such a downer! Who gave you a fucking sedative?" Secchan asked and gave a small hiccup. "D'you know what'll wake you up? Strippers," she proclaimed.

Temari buried her face in her hands. "Oh God."

"Why don't you have strippers? Kiba, why didn't you get him strippers?" Secchan demanded, turning to Kiba.

"You know, I don't know how I could have missed that," Kiba slurred slightly, also having imbibed. Actually, knowing Secchan, Temari wouldn't be surprised if Secchan had coerced Kiba into a drinking contest.

Secchan turned back to Shikamaru and Temari. "Oh well. I guess me and Temari will just have to do it," she grinned.

Temari's head shut up. "Not a fuck, Secchan."

"Okay, maybe she hasn't quite had enough to drink. Oh wait!" Secchan hit herself in a forehead. "Duh! You're pregnant, you can't drink!" Secchan shrugged. "Oh well, guess it'll just have to be me, then. Now, I'm going to find some more of that delicious apple sours…" She wandered off in the direction of the bar, Kiba following behind obediently.

Shikamaru turned to Temari. "She-she wasn't serious, was she? She isn't actually going to… strip, is she?"

Temari shrugged. "Who knows? With enough alcohol in her, that girl will do anything. Hell, with _no _alcohol in her, she'll do pretty much anything!"

Shikamaru looked at Secchan over at the bar in worry.

Temari sighed. "Maybe Kiba will talk her out of it."

Shikamaru snorted. "Kiba? He won't talk her out of anything. He's too fucked. Besides, he just wants to get in her pants," he replied.

"Well, isn't that a coincidence. She just wants to get in his pants," Temari remarked wryly.

Shikamaru contemplated this. "Oh well. No-one loses."

Temari laughed. "That's for damn sure."

Shikamaru looked at her. "I'm glad you came. This probably would have been a terrible night otherwise. I probably would have ended up getting completely trashed.

"I think we're the only people here that aren't drunk right now. Why aren't you drinking? I know what my reason is, but what's yours?" Temari asked him.

Shikamaru shrugged. "Just don't feel like it. Last time I got completely trashed came with some rather unexpected consequences and quite frankly, that headache was fucking killing me. Don't want a repeat of that. Too troublesome."

Temari smiled. "That makes sense."

A loud cheer caused them to look over at the bar, where Secchan was being helped onto the bar counter. After steadying herself, Secchan placed her hands on her hips.

"Is it just me, or is it really hot in here?" she shouted, fanning her face with her hand. Her question was greeted with a loud cheer.

"Holy shit," Shikamaru muttered, staring at Secchan, who was now surrounded by a crowd made up of almost everyone at the party. "Is she actually going to-" He couldn't finish.

Secchan undid the first couple buttons on her white blouse, smirking at the roaring crowd. She held up a hand. "Don't worry, ladies, I won't take it all off. You'll get your men back. Besides, I have someone I'm quite interested in myself," she shouted, squatting down and sliding her hands over Kiba's shoulders. He was leaning against the bar. Kiba downed what was left of his drink and threw his hands up in the 'rock-on' sign.

"Oh yeah, I am one lucky bastard!" he yelled.

Secchan, who had stood up, laughed and pushed his head forward with her foot. "You better believe it, honey!" she called.

This comment was greeted with raucous laughter, cat-calls and wolf-whistles.

"She certainly does know how to charm the crowd. At least she's not taking it all off," Shikamaru said.

"Yeah. I should have guessed. She'll probably only take her top off. That's what she usually does," Temari replied.

Shikamaru raised his eyebrows. "You mean she's done this before?"

"Once or twice. At bars. Or clubs. She likes being the center of attention."

"I can see that," Shikamaru chuckled.

They watched as Secchan teased the crowd, slowly undoing each button and then turning around to undo the last two or three buttons, smirking over her shoulder at the crowd. She shook her hair down her back and slowly drew her shirt down, getting loud encouragement from the crowd. Finally, she slipped her shirt off and held up her arm, dangling her blouse. She turned around with a whoop and swung her shirt like a lassoo; strutting along the counter. The crowd cheered loudly. Shikamaru raised his eyebrows again.

"Is that a tattoo?" he asked.

Temari looked at the emerald green Chinese wyrm **(A/N. wingless dragon)** that wound it's way around Secchan's torso. "Yeah. She got it a couple years ago."

Secchan was now dancing provocatively to the loud music. She pulled Ino up onto the bar counter and Ino joined in happily, keeping her shirt on. Secchan, clad only in jeans and a bra, had wrapped her blouse around Kiba's neck.

"Is it just me, or is her belly glinting?" Shikamaru asked Temari.

Temari chuckled. "No, it's not just you. She has a belly ring. And… other rings," she muttered the last part half to herself.

"What?"

"Oh, nothing."

"Tenten!" yelled Secchan, spotting someone she knew. "Come one up here, babe, you know you want to!" With little protest, Ino and Secchan pulled Tenten up to join them.

"Babe, you gotta let your hair down!" Secchan yelled pulling the hairties out of Tenten's hair, loosening it from it's usual two buns.

"Flip it!" Secchan commanded.

Laughing, Tenten obeyed, doing it very sexily.

Shikamaru chuckled. "I think Neji just about fainted."

Temari looked over to where the Hyuuga was situated and let out a little laugh. "Yeah, from loss of blood. Do you think he's fucked her yet?"

Shikamaru's eyebrows shot up yet again. "Is this a normal conversation topic for you?" he asked.

Temari turned to face him, surprised. "Um… yeah…"

Shikamaru nodded. "Right…well, actually I reckon he has fucked her."

"Oh, do you now? And what makes you say that?"

"What, aside from just _looking_ at them interact? I saw them exiting the same woman's restroom the other day looking rather flushed and satisfied."

Temari let out a squeak before giving in to the urge to laugh. "Oh my, maybe Secchan was right."

Shikamaru furrowed his brow. "Right about what?"

"Hmm? Oh, just a comment she made the other day about what Tenten sees in Neji."

"Which was?"

"Well, Secchan says maybe 'Mr. White-Collar' lets loose his wild side in bed."

Shikamaru choked. "Oh fuck, that put unwanted images in my head."

Temari crinkled her nose. "Yeah, that did kinda make him sound like a Chippendale dancer."

Shikamaru squeezed his eyes shut. "With all due respect, Temari, I'm going to ask you to shut up now."

Temari chuckled at the look of distaste on Shikamaru's face. He cracked open an eye to glare at her.

"How dare you laugh at my torture?" he demanded, only half-joking.

"I guess I just have a sadistic side," she replied sweetly.

_Especially in the bedroom, RAWR._

_EEP! I'M NOT SAYING THAT!_

_Why not?_

_Because!!!_

Temari gave her head a slight shake to remove thoughts of a perverted nature- of which there were quite a few, thanks to living with Secchan for so long.

Speaking of Secchan…

Temari looked towards the bar counter to see Secchan lean down for Kiba to say something in her ear, which seemed to prompt her to get down from the bar.

"I guess sadistic is a shade better than masochistic," Shikamaru said, bringing Temari's attention back to him.

_Or both together…sadomasochism…mmm…_

…_you seriously scare me sometimes. Seriously._

"Well, it depends on how sadistic you are," Temari said, firmly ignoring the voices in her head.

All of a sudden, Temari felt a little queasy.

Shikamaru noticed and frowned concernedly at her. "Are you okay? You're looking a little peaky."

Temari grimaced. "Mmm, yeah, I just need to go outside for a little bit. Get a bit of fresh air." She started to get up.

Shikamaru stood up with her. "I'll come with you."

"Oh no, you really needn't-" Temari started, but was cut off as Ino bounced up to them, obviously more than a little buzzed, and flushed from her little stint on the bar. Temari chanced a quick glance at the bar and saw that it was vacant.

"Shikamaru!" Ino said. "Come on! You haven't danced! You have to dance at least once!"

"Ino, no, I was just gonna go outside with-"

"You know, Shikamaru, I think you should dance. Go ahead. I'll be back now," Temari grinned, just at the idea of Shikamaru dancing.

"Yay!" Ino squealed, taking Temari's comment as consent and she started pulling Shikamaru to the dancefloor.

Shikamaru glared at Temari over his shoulder as he was dragged away, obviously noting her smirk. "Traitor," he mouthed at her before being swallowed by the crowd.

Temari chuckled and headed to the door, really wanting that fresh air now.

Temari wandered outside, loving the cool air.

"Shit, it was hot in there," she muttered to herself, leaning against a wall and closing her eyes. Then she heard a gasp from around the corner. Her forehead creased.

_Oh please don't let that be what I thought it was…_

"Fuck, you're hot," a faintly familiar male voice muttered. The comment was answered with a little moan.

Temari let out a little sigh.

_Yep, it's what I thought it was. Great._

"Holy shit! Is that a nipple ring?" the male voice said disbelievingly as Temari started levering herself up. Her eyes shot open.

_Ohmygod is that-_

A feminine giggle reached her ears. "I'm full of surprises," a voice she knew well said seductively.

_-Secchan. And Kiba. _

_Oh god that's going to leave an unwanted image._

_Can we go now? Please? Before I sustain any further damage?_

For once, Temari listened to the voices in her head and got the hell out of there as fast as she could.

She walked back inside with her eye twitching. Shikamaru- who had obviously escaped from Ino- saw her and headed over.

"You're back soon," he noted. She nodded.

"Why is your eye twitching?" he asked.

She looked at him. "I found Secchan and Kiba. They're outside," she stated. Shikamaru blinked.

"From the look on your face I can guess what they were doing. That had to have been awkward."

"Oh, I didn't see them, I just… heard them," Temari told him.

He shrugged. "Maybe it wasn't them. Tenten and Neji are also missing."

Temari allowed herself a small laugh before replying. "Oh, trust me, it was them."

"How can you be so sure?"

"I know Secchan's voice. Besides, he mentioned her nipple ring."

Shikamaru choked on his beer- she hadn't noticed it before.

Temari looked at him. "Maybe that was a bit too much information."

Shikamaru nodded. "Just a little," he gasped.

Temari grinned. "Sorry."

"Once again, you revel in my torture." He regained his composure. "You know, you'd think they'd learn about unprotected sex after what happened to us. Not that I regret it or anything," he added hurriedly.

Temari grinned again. "Maybe, but they're both incredibly drunk, so they're not exactly thinking straight."

"That's true. God, if those two do have a kid… that kid is going to be a horror."

Temari laughed. "That's for sure. But Secchan's not going to get pregnant."

"How do you know?"

"She can't have kids."

"Can't? Why?"

"She had a hysterectomy about 4 years ago."

Shikamaru's eyebrows shot up. "How old is she?"

"28, same as me," Temari told him.

"So that would make her…24. That's young to have a hysterectomy. Why did she get one?" she asked.

"She doesn't want to have kids. And she felt guilty about her abortions, but she doesn't feel she'd be a good mom, so she thought it was for the best."

"Abortions? As in plural?" Shikamaru was surprised.

"She's had two. And considering it's Secchan, and how promiscuous she is, two pregnancies by the time she was 23 isn't actually that surprising."

"What happens if she decides she wants kids?" Shikamaru asked.

Temari shrugged. "She says she can always adopt."

Shikamaru considered this. "Huh. Secchan's…interesting."

Temari nodded. "Yeah. She's claimed godmother," she told him.

"What?" he asked, working on the change of subject. "Wait…what?! Oh god. Our child is going to be debauched."

"Weeeelll… yeah, maybe a little," Temari admitted.

"And fond of body adornment," he added.

"There's nothing wrong with body adornment," Temari told him.

"What, are you saying you have some?"

Temari smirked. "Maybe." She did, in fact. A small tattoo of a white unfolded fan with three purple dots on the inside of her thigh.

"Where is it?"

"Not telling," she replied with a naughty tilt of the lips.

Shikamaru's mind whirled with all the possibilities of where it might be and his thoughts started encroaching on dangerous territory- not that they didn't enter those forbidden areas whenever he was alone.

"Is it a tattoo?" he asked.

"Possibly," she replied, determined not to give him a straight answer.

"What is it?"

"Aren't you full of questions."

"Just trying to get a picture."

Temari raised her eyebrows as Shikamaru realize what he said and backtracked. "I mean… I didn't…well… I just… I was just…curious!"

Temari's heart did a funny little trip in her chest at the thought that _maybe_, just maybe, he did mean it in the way it had come across. She thought it was the best thing she'd heard all night.

-TBC-

**A/N: Okay okay I know, it's taken forever! But I have a reason! Pretty much I went home from boarding school because I couldn't walk because of an arthroscopy I had done**** and the bulk of this chapter I had written beforehand- and I left the manuscripts at school. So that didn't work. Anyhow, it's an extra long chapter!! I hope that makes up for the wait… This chapter seemed to be mainly focused on Secchan, now that I look back on it, even though it's told from Temari's POV. Hmm. But hey. Hope you enjoyed, PLEASE review!! PLEASE!!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

"Ung," Secchan groaned, waking up and rolling over. Temari was sitting on the edge of her bed, ready with a cup of coffee. Secchan opened one bleary eye and took in her surroundings, then closed it again.

"Huh. I must have had a good time last night," Secchan mumbled and rolled onto her stomach.

"What makes you say that?" asked Temari.

"My head is killing me, I can't remember most of the night, and I didn't wake up in a hospital bed or a police cell," Secchan explained, her voice muffled by the fact she was lying facedown in her pillow.

"Both of which have happened before," Temari said.

Secchan's head moved in a nodding motion. "Both more than once, actually. Remember that one time you were with me in the police cell."

Temari chuckled. "I'm still not entirely sure what we did that night. We were nineteen, weren't we?'

"Yeah. Soon after my first abortion."

Silence fell.

"Only thing I'm disappointed about is that there's no hot guy next to me. What happened to that sexy Kiba dude?"

"Oh, you guys were flirting the entire night. You expressed an interest in him to the entire party just before you took off your shirt and started dancing on the bar," Temari said wryly.

Secchan giggled, then quickly stopped. "Ow. Head. Did I fuck him?"

Temari cringed. "That you did. I was unlucky enough to hear you two in the alley."

"Oh, we did it outside? That explains why my back is sore," Secchan noted. She slowly rolled over onto her back. "It's not as sore as my head though."

"Oh right. Coffee?" Temari offered, holding out the mug.

Secchan's eyes shot open and she sat up quickly. "Coffee!" then she held her head and clenched her eyes shut. "Ow. Ow. Head. Ow. Temari-biscuit, I'm gonna need more than just coffee."

"I have Myprodol as well."

"Thanks," Secchan said, taking the pills and downing them with a gulp of coffee. "Now leave me to wallow until they kick in."

Temari laughed and got up, leaving Secchan nursing her cup of coffee.

Temari got herself a piece of paper and sat down at the table with a pen. She'd decided to write to her brothers and tell them, as she didn't feel like explaining the whole thing to them over the phone. And letters were slower. Hopefully by the time it got through… yeah. Well. Just… it delayed the inevitable confrontation.

After 15 minutes of deliberation, Temari finally put the pen to paper.

_**Dear**_

_No. Ew. Not dear._

_**Hey there!**_

_Ah yes, that's better._

_**Just wanted to write to my dearest darlingest younger brothers. How're you two doing? I hope you're not being too naughty! You know Santa doesn't give presents to naughty boys.**_

Temari giggled.

_Oooh, they're gonna kill me for treating them like 5-year olds! Oh well, it's my prerogative as older sister._

_**You probably think something's up. And you're perfectly right! Well, something was up, which is the reason I am now-**_

_No. Definitely not. Scratch that last sentence.__ They probably won't appreciate sex jokes coming from me. Now, where was I… 'And you're perfectly right!' Ah yes…_

_**Okay, before I tell you the real reason I'm writing, you have to promise me something- if you come visit (and I have a sneaking suspicion you might), you MUST leave **__** behind ALL guns, bullets, knives, grenades, ropes, daggers, swords, bayonets, halberds, krises (what's the plural of kris anyway?), katanas, kunai, shuriken, senbon, bows, arrows, poisons, needles, axes, forks, spoons, sporks, marbles, pens, glasses, bottles, plates, RPG's, torpedo's, missiles, paper, stiletto shoes, plastic bags, wire, razors, and any other inherently lethal objects. Or even potentially lethal objects. Just… LEAVE THEM AT HOME. DO NOT PACK THEM. (I don't think you'd get through customs with half of those things anyway- DO NOT TAKE THAT AS A CHALLENGE!) **_

_**Anyway, so once you've promised me that- and that you will not kill ANYONE while you're up here, NO ONE AT ALL, no matter what reason you may have, just no. RESIST THE TEMPTATION! – you may read on.**_

_**Okay. Well.**_

_**Lovely weather we're having today…**_

_**OKAY I'M GETTING THERE!**_

_**Hey, Gaara, how's Matsuri? I know you like her…**_

_**No, I'm not stalling. **_

_**Okay fine. I'm pregnant. **_

_**You might wanna wake Kankurou up now, Gaara, so you can get all the fainting over in one spell, because I'm not finished. **_

_**I do not have a boyfriend, and I did not have a boyfriend when I fell pregnant. I was completely and utterly pissed- and don't tell me you've never slept with someone when you're in that state, because that is a LIE and I know it. Do not ask how I know it, I just do. DO NOT QUESTION THE ALL-KNOWING- NESS OF THE OLDER SISTER! Uh… yes, I do know the guy- I work with him, actually- and he's said he wants to be a part of the baby's life and take care of it. He's a pretty responsible guy, actually- a little lazy, granted- but he's reliable. I think. Well, he never gets into any trouble at work. So… yeah.**_

_**Your older sister is preggers, and you can't kill Shikamaru- that's the dad, by the way.**_

_**Lots and lots of love,**_

_**Your older sister,**_

_**Temari**_

_**P.S. REMEMBER, KILLING IS BAD!! **_

_**P.P.S. and you're not allowed to hurt, maim, dismember, disfigure, injure, bruise, scratch, cut or harm him in any way whatsoever either. That includes breaking bones. Kapish? **_

Temari layed her pen down and smiled. She thought she did a pretty good job of telling them to leave all their weapons at home. And, um, some other stuff which they probably wouldn't even consider using to kill people with anyway… but hey, it pays to be prepared. And open-minded. Very open-minded.

_Yeah, so open-minded your brains fall out._

_Do you get off on__ insulting me?_

_Ew, no. I have other things to fantasize about. Like-_

_I don't want to know, thank you very much. _

_Fine, suit yourself. _

"Temari-biscuit!" Secchan's plaintive whine came drifting in from her bedroom.

"Yes?" Temari replied.

"I'm hungry!"

Temari sighed. "So?"

"Make me something to eat!"

"You're hungover, Secchan, not disabled."

"Pleeeeeaaaaaaaase!"

Temari heaved another sigh. "How does scrambled egg sound?"

"Yay! Thank you, Temari-biscuit, you're the best," Secchan called.

"She's so lucky I'm also hungry," Temari muttered as she got up from her seat and headed into the kitchen.

"Hey, Secchan!" she called as she got out the eggs. "Are you planning to emerge from your room and venture outside anytime today?"

"Doubtfully possible. Why?" was the reply.

Temari's forehead creased. "Doubtfully possible? What the fuck?" she muttered. "Oh, I wanted to send a letter to Kankurou and Gaara." She called to Secchan.

"So you were just going to heap it on your poor, hungover, long-suffering friend?"

"Hey, who's making you breakfast again?"

Silence.

"Point taken. Don't poison it," Secchan pleaded.

"I'll think about it."

"You are an evil, horrendous bitch of a friend, Temari-biscuit, seriously. You'll only think about not poisoning your poor hungover friend? That is low-down and despicably evil, you complete and utter bitch."

Temari eyed the basket of whole (really hot) chillies that sat on the counter while Secchan ranted on from the bedroom, her eyes glinting.

_Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha..._

-TBC-

**A/N: Eh…fillerish chapter…although I did get the letter done, which is good…I guess… my friend asked me how I wrote a 1000 words about nothing. My answer: Easily. How else do you think I get essays done? But yeah…it was a fun chapter…and it was quite a quick update (for me). Well, writing wise…not entirely sure when I'm actually going to get around to posting it, but…oh well. Should be before the end of the week, at least. Hope you enjoyed, please review!!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

Temari yawned widely and attempted to cover it up with her hand- rather unsuccessfully.

"Tired, are you?" Shikamaru's voice remarked wryly.

Temari opened her eyes and blinked, then quickly wiped the water from her eyes. "Yeah, well, that's what happens when you stay up half the night reading baby books," she muttered.

"Baby books, huh?"

"Well, that was the plan, anyway."

Shikamaru smirked. "So what did you end up doing?"

"Reading. Innocent in Death by Nora Roberts. I just had to finish it, y'know? The little girl creeps me out," Temari told him.

"Sounds sinister," Shikamaru commented.

"It's a murder mystery. So, yeah, it's kinda sinister," Temari admitted.

"D'ya like murder mysteries?" Shikamaru asked.

"Yeah. And the series have some raunchy sex scenes in them, which aren't half bad either," Temari grinned.

_What happened to not making a move?_

_I'm not!_

_You just mentioned raunchy sex scenes!_

_That doesn't classify as making a move. Just…talk between friends._

_Yeah, friends who've just __**happened **__to have had sex, and you know you want to get in his pants. _

_When did Secchan's brainwaves get implanted in my brain?_

_Oh, honey, don't doubt yourself- it's all you._

Shikamaru's eyebrows shot up, and once again his imagination flourished before he could stop it, those thoughts being entirely inappropriate for the workplace. Entirely inappropriate thoughts about the woman pregnant with his child, especially when he was not in a relationship with said woman no matter how much he wanted to be, entirely inappropriate even if she was absolutely gorgeous and incredibly appealing… and all he wanted to do was hoist her up onto that desk she was sitting at and have his way with her… ehm… yeah, completely inappropriate and _why the fuck were they still there??_

"That sounds… interesting," Shikamaru remarked, trying to keep his libido under control.

"Yeah, it is actually. I mean, not the… uh… raunchy sex scenes, um… the actual mystery…yeah…" Temari coughed and avoided Shikamaru's gaze. He chuckled.

"Mmm yeah, I believe you," he told her.

She narrowed her eyes at him. "Oh, fuck off. Don't use that sarcastic tone with me, you know as well as I do I was only speaking the truth," she snapped playfully.

He winked. "Oh, but you know you enjoyed the sex scenes."

_Oh, so he wants to joke around, huh? Well, two can play at that game._

_I am not saying anything you come up with._

_Oh, yes you will, love. _

"Who wouldn't?" she rejoined.

_See?_

He quirked his eyebrow. "You do have a point there. But I _know _you enjoy it more than others."

She pursed her lips, enjoying the back and forth. "That's possible, but not as much as you, of course."

He rolled his eyes. "Nope, not as much as me. Gotta work real hard to beat me," he joked. He leant on the desk with both his arms and smirked at her. "But I think with some lessons you could easily catch up."

_OHMYGOD HE DID NOT JUST SAY WHAT I THOUGHT HE SAID!!_

_HA! You don't need to make a move! From the sounds of it he's more than willing to jump you right now! _

_SHUT UP! Just give me a minute to finish hyperventilating here, okay?? Have some goddamn compassion!_

_Oh, just look at that sexy smirk! Ooh, he is sooo on my to do list. Oh, wait, wait- he's on my already done list. Score._

_Are you even listening to me? I'M FREAKING OUT HERE, SOME SYMPATHY WOULD BE NICE! _

_But, y'know, he's on the have-to-do-again-very-soon-indeed list as well…_

…_well, fuck you too, bitch._

_Someone say my name?_

Outwardly, Temari kept her composure.

Sort of.

Between her bright red cheeks and sputtering, she wasn't really sure if it could be classified as 'keeping her composure'.

Shikamaru chuckled at her obvious…well, he wasn't quite sure what it was- discomfort? Embarrassment? Shock? Surprise? Whatever, it was quite amusing- but of course he'd never say that out loud for fear of coming across as rude.

"Hey, listen- d'you wanna catch some lunch later?" he offered.

"Uh… lunch, um… yeah, sure, that sounds great!" Temari agreed, still attempting to swallow her… mixed feelings.

"Okay, I'll come fetch you later then," he said, pushing his weight back onto his feet but leaving his hands splayed on the desk.

"You're right down the corridor," Temari pointed out.

"Look, just leave me with a semblance of chivalry, will you," Shikamaru told her.

Temari rolled her eyes. "Fine."

"'Kay, I'll see you later." Shikamaru smiled at her and headed off, his fingers trailing over the top of hers as he left.

Temari's breath caught in her throat and she clenched her fist automatically as her fingers tingled where he had touched. Butterflies filled her stomach and she felt as if she was going to take flight from that alone. It was the hormones, she decided, that were making her go so mushy and teenage-girl-crush like from one simple touch of his. Simply the hormones.

As Shikamaru walked away, his heart was beating in his throat. He could hardly believe how forward he had been with Temari. He kinda felt like he was definitely pushing his boundaries with her, but… he didn't want to live his entire life wishing he _had_ made a move, and wondering whether she felt the same way or not. He unconsciously scowled as he headed towards his desk. The troublesome woman was not leaving his thoughts, imagination or dreams- he could not get rid of here. Everything reminded him of her- or babies, which then led to her. Bloody annoying, it was. He had no control over what went on in his mind anymore.

_God, she's gorgeous. _The lone thought drifted through his mind as he wandered and his thoughts started to drift-again. His face smoothed and he started daydreaming-again. He stopped paying attention and walked into a glass wall-agai-oh no, that was the first time _that_ had happened, surprisingly.

Shikamaru jerked back to reality cursing softly under his breath. He glared at the sheet of glass that stood in his way whilst rubbing his head. Still muttering death threats to a certain pane of melted sand, he took a step sideways and proceeded to walk through the doorway- i.e. the piece of the wall in which he _wouldn't_ meet solid resistance.

"The fuck you laughing at?" he growled at a snickering Kiba.

"Dude, you just walked into a fucking wall. What's up, Temari running naked circles in your mind?" Kiba winked.

Shikamaru scowled in semi-embarrassment- from being caught fantasizing about Temari and from being caught walking into the wall.

"It was a glass wall," he replied petulantly.

"So that's a yes, then," Kiba deduced.

"Oh fuck off. You were the one having it off with a bloody stranger Friday night," Shikamaru grumbled.

"Hey, at least I'm getting laid. Wait- I did what?" Kiba asked.

Shikamaru snorted. "Oh jeez, you were so shit-faced you don't even remember it. You didn't even know it happened. That's fucking classic."

"Hey, wait, whaddaya know that I don't?" Kiba demanded, rolling his chair along behind Shikamaru as he made his way to his desk.

"You fucked Temari's roommate on Friday when you were both pissed outta your fucking minds," Shikamaru replied, plopping down on his chair.

"Secchan? Fuckin' A!" Kiba punched the air, then stopped and shook his head. "Dude, this is so fucking surreal. I'm asking _you _about _my_ sex life."

Shikamaru swung around to face Kiba and raised his eyebrows at the young man sitting in the middle of a corridor on his chair.

"Did you _roll _over here?" he asked.

Kiba looked down at the chair and twisted back to check his desk-a good 10 meters behind. "Yep."

"Why?"

Kiba shrugged. "Dunno. I was sitting down. The chair has wheels. Kinda…didn't… think of… getting up."

Shikamaru snickered. "I honestly don't know how you passed kindergarten."

"Inuzuka, what the fuck are you doing?" an astounded Tenten asked, standing in the corridor behind him. Kiba swiveled around to face her.

"I am going straight back to my desk, Mrs. Hyuuga, ma'am!" Kiba replied smartly, throwing in a salute and wheeled himself past her back to his desk.

Tenten whirled around as she registered what he had said. "What the fuck did you call me, you little shit!"

"Geez, Tenten, calm down. Just forget about it, don't give him any fuel," Shikamaru intervened, not in the mood for Tenten's yells.

Tenten turned to look at the peacekeeper- who had a red mark on his forehead. She smirked, for reasons he didn't know and didn't care to figure out.

"I'll guess I'll listen to the genius, then," Tenten agreed and walked off, still smirking.

Shikamaru shook his head and turned back to his desk, determined to focus on work and not on the sordid scenarios involving Temari his imagination kept on cooking up.

Unfortunately, he couldn't switch his thoughts off.

…

He didn't get much work done that day.

-TBC-

**A/N: … yeah… is it just me, or did not much happen in this chapter? *shrugs* Oh well, it was fun to write. Yeah, I thought it needed some more ShikaTema action, so… yeah. ****Hope you enjoyed it- seriously, I've been amazed at the popularity (relative to my other stories of course) of this story. Just have to say thanks. Anyway, PLEASE show me some more support (cue big cheesy grin) by leaving me a review!**

**Oh yeah- I mentioned Innocent in Death by Nora Roberts writing as J.D Robb. It's one in the In Death series, which is absolutely brilliant and addictive.**

**Okay, now I'm done.**

…

**Review? **


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

When Shikamaru and Temari entered the lift to return to work, both were a little tense. The sexual tension was… well, pretty tense. Shikamaru could hardly keep from putting his hands on her, and Temari could hardly keep from putting her hands on him. And each of them was relatively unaware of the other's urges, despite the subtle flirting that had been occurring throughout the meal, from both sides. There was the slight problem that the flirting was so subtle that they both thought it was simply wishful thinking on their part.

But when Shikamaru watched Temari bite her lip cutely for what seemed like the umpteenth time in half an hour, he simply couldn't control himself any longer. As the lift door closed on them, he pushed her up against the wall and kissed her soundly. Luckily for his sanity, the lift was empty other than them, and so he didn't feel obligated to not make a move. Not that he thought this was the wisest idea ever anyway- actually, he wasn't really thinking at all at that particular moment in time.

Temari let out a squeak of surprise, which was muffled by his lips, and then she wasted no time in reciprocating. She couldn't wrap her arms around his neck as she wanted to do, because he had them pinned to the wall. Then he stopped and pulled away. He ran his hand over his face.

"Sorry," he muttered, "I was outta line. I shouldn't have done that."

Temari was still leaning against the wall, breathless and with glazed eyes. "What are you talking about?" she breathed.

Shikamaru looked at her, and almost leapt at her again.

"I mean, I… well, I really didn't mind," Temari told him. "In fact, I…uh… I actually quite liked it." She had a faint blush on her face and was avoiding his gaze.

Shikamaru could only stare at her in astonishment and disbelief. Temari, however, mistook his silence for something else.

"Look, Shikamaru, if you're only doing this because you think you need to, because I'm pregnant, I would rather you-" Temari started.

"Temari, are you insane? Do you honestly think I would do that just because you're having my _child_?" Shikamaru interrupted. "I'd like to think I'm a better person than that."

Temari's head shot up, startled by the vehemence in his voice. "Well, I just wasn't entirely sure of your intentions… I mean, I'm sure that they were perfectly _honourable_…"

Shikamaru snorted. "I can assure you, my intentions were far from honourable. But they were more dishonourable in the sexual way. Because, to put it simply, I want to fuck you senseless," he told her, deciding to come out with it.

Temari's eyebrows shot up at his bluntness.

_WOOHOO! Oh yes please__, baby._

…

_C'mere, sexy._

…

_Well? Whaddaya waiting for?_

…

…_Seriously, what the fuck?_

…

_Stop staring like a gormless fucking idiot! Honestly, I am ashamed to call myself your… well, I'm not entirely sure what I am exactly… voice in your h- alter ego! That's it!_

…_WILL YOU KINDLY SHUT UP! HE JUST SAID HE WANTED TO FUCK ME SENSELESS!_

…_So? You wanna fuck him senseless too, so what's the problem?_

…_Is there any way to exorcise you or something?_

_Oh, you know you love me._

_I can assure you, I don't._

_Deep down._

…_No._

…_Well, whatever. Just jump him already, will ya?_

Temari was sick of arguing, and couldn't think of anything else to do anyway, so she threw her arms around Shikamaru's neck and pressed her lips to his. Shikamaru was frozen for a moment before his hands twitched towards her hips. When the lift doors pinged, they sprang apart, red faced and pulling their clothes straight.

"Right. Well, uh…" Temari stuttered.

"Yeah, so…" Shikamaru shuffled.

"Uh, I'll…call you later," Temari muttered.

"Yeah, okay… or I'll, uh… get hold of you," Shikamaru replied awkwardly.

"Okay. Yeah…bye." Temari gave him a small wave and turned to head to her desk.

"Yeah…bye…" he murmured, watching her as she walked away.

He touched his lips lightly, his mind replaying the kiss again and again.

"Had fun?" a joking voice cajoled, the owner elbowing him in the ribs.

Shikamaru glared at a grinning Kiba. "What the fuck are you on about?"

"We saw you and Temari come out the lift," Chouji told him, "You two looked rather… flushed."

"Yeah, dude, did you score her?" Kiba broke in eagerly.

Shikamaru rolled his eyes at Kiba's crudeness. "I did not _score _her."

Kiba rolled his eyes at Shikamaru's prudeness. "Well, did you make out with her then?"

"Jeez, Kiba, you're such a fucking busybody. It's gonna get you into a lot of trouble one day," Shikamaru replied with irritation- he did not appreciate Kiba's attempted forays into his private life. "I've got work to do." He headed to his desk with his hands in his pockets.

"That's a yes," Kiba deduced, and turned to Chouji. "I told you he'd jump her before the baby came."

"She could've been the one to make the first move," Chouji retorted.

Kiba shrugged. "Whatever, dude. You still owe me twenty bucks."

"Ah, fuck. Goddamnit, Shikamaru, you couldn't have just stayed a lazy gentleman, could you," Chouji muttered as he dug the necessary amount out of his wallet.

"Oh, I am so good," crowed Kiba in delight.

o0o0o0o

Temari was in a euphoric daze for the rest of the day, somehow managing to get her work done. She could hardly believe he had done that. She could hardly believe _she _had done that!

_Told you jumping him would be fun._

_Ha, not even you can ruin my mood._

_Oh darn, that's my favourite hobby._

"Hey, Temari!" a voice hailed her as she was about to leave the building. She turned around to find Kiba.

"Yes?"

"Hey, listen, d'ya think you could give me Secchan's number?" Kiba asked.

"Uh… yeah, sure. Pass your phone here," Temari requested, holding out her hand for it. Kiba dug it out and handed it over.

"So, you and Shikamaru together now?" Kiba asked as she keyed in the number. She started.

"Huh? What gave you that idea?" she asked, truly confused.

"You were in such a daze you didn't see Chouji and I outside the lift," Kiba guffawed.

Temari blushed slightly.

"So, are you?" Kiba asked again.

Temari shrugged. "I don't actually know."

"But you hope so," Kiba grinned.

Temari didn't reply, but her blush deepened. "Um. Here's her number," she said, holding out his phone and pretending as if she hadn't heard him.

"Thanks, hey," Kiba grinned.

"Pleasure. Bye," Temari greeted, turning to leave quickly to avoid further embarrassment.

"Bye!" Kiba called, saving Secchan's number. "Score," he muttered.

As Temari made her way home via public transport, she idly wondered what would be the result of her giving Kiba Secchan's number, but her mind was adamant that fantasising about Shikamaru was so much more enjoyable- and she was inclined to agree.

o0o0o0o

Two days later, Shikamaru asked Temari out (on a _real _date this time). Obviously, she agreed.

"Secchan, I know tomorrow is my turn to cook, but I'm going out so I can't," Temari told Secchan over dinner.

"Going out? Where? With who? Shikamaru? Did he ask you out?" Secchan asked.

"Yes, he did," grinned Temari.

"And you waited until _now _to tell me?" exclaimed Secchan. "What is _wrong_ with you? Normally you would tell me as soon as you got through the door."

"Yeah, it is kinda weird. I dunno. I think my mind has floated off in a wave of something," Temari hypothesised. "But I told you now."

"Yeah, thanks for that," Secchan said sarcastically. "Doesn't matter. Besides, I'm going out tomorrow night as well. That Kiba guy from your boy's party called and asked me out. And strangely enough, I agreed."

"Oh right, I'd forgotten I'd given him your number. That's cool, though," Temari commented.

"Yeah. Should be fun," Secchan decided.

"I reckon I'll see you the next morning only," Temari laughed.

"Most likely," Secchan agreed. "But I still can't believe you only told me now. I'm guessing he asked you today, right?"

"Yes," Temari confirmed.

"Good. Because if he had asked you yesterday and you only told me now, I would have been supremely pissed," Secchan declared. "And I would have rushed you to hospital for a brain scan."

_Hey, I wonder if a brain scan would notice me?_

_...HEY! I wonder if they can remove you! Wow, I never thought of that._

_SACRILEGE! How dare you even suggest such a thing?_

_Easily. Now stop growling at me._

-TBC-

**A/N: Ok, yes I know, it's been a while. Sorry. The chapter didn't write itself, and I got stuck. But it's here now, and I have a semi-plan of what is going to happen in the next chapter, so that shouldn't be too long in coming. I'm not entirely too fond of this last bit of the chapter... I don't know, I guess it'll do.**

**Anyway, as always reviews are always greatly appreciated and make me happy and more inclined to write. (My attempt at manipulation). So, I do hope you enjoyed it, sorry again about the wait, and please review!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

As expected, Secchan did only arrive home the following morning. The same thing happened that night. In fact, Secchan didn't spend the night at home for the rest of the week, bar one or two nights.

Shikamaru and Temari didn't go on another date that week, but had enjoyed many kisses during their lunchbreaks, which they found preferable- especially Shikamaru, as he found _proper _dates to be rather troublesome.

On one night when Secchan actually happened to be home, and Shikamaru was visiting, there was a knock on the door.

"Coming!" Temari called. "Who the hell could that be? It's like eight o'clock at night. Secchan, are you expecting anyone?"

"I would have told you if I was," Secchan said, curled up on the armchair.

There was another, louder, knock. "I'm coming!" Temari yelled.

"Temari, hurry up, goddamnit!" a male voice called. "We're hungry!"

"No, he's hungry," another voice said.

"So are you, don't try to deny it," the first voice replied.

Temari stopped. "Well, whaddaya know, it's my brothers," she said.

Shikamaru paled slightly.

"Don't worry," Secchan told him brightly, "There are witnesses here."

Shikamaru shot her a glance that clearly said 'and that's supposed to make me feel better _how_?'

Secchan examined his expression with interest. "You know, you and Temari have very similar expressions. Do you know how many times I've gotten that very same look from Temari? Quite a lot."

Temari, meanwhile, had gone to open the door.

"Temari, what's this we hear about you being pregnant?" was the first thing said by the silhouettes in the doorway- that's what they looked like from Shikamaru's perspective anyway. Scary, menacing, silhouettes.

"It's exactly that, Kankurou. You know the situation, I explained it clearly enough in my letter," Temari told the voice, "And honestly, you have absolutely no manners whatsoever. I don't even get a hello."

Temari was enveloped in a hug from what Shikamaru now saw was a tall, brown-haired, young man. "Hello, Temari."

Temari extricated herself from her brother's arms. "Kankurou, a person has to breath, you know," she told him before turning her attention to the slight red-head behind him. "Hey, Gaara."

Gaara gave her a hug. "Hey, Temari. You really are an idiot."

Temari scowled. "That's mean."

"And you're getting fat," Gaara decided, inspecting her slightly rounded stomach.

"That's what happens when you get pregnant," Temari replied.

Kankurou pushed past her and wandered into the lounge.

"Hey, Secchan, long time no see," he grinned, coming over to give Secchan a hug.

"Kankurou, you haven't changed a bit," Secchan laughed. "Neither have you, Gaara. Silent but deadly, huh." She threw Gaara a wink. He winked in reply.

"You bet."

Kankurou diverted back to the kitchen. "Hey, Temari-biscuit, you gonna introduce us to your friend?" he asked, rummaging in the fridge.

Temari and Shikamaru shared a glance.

"Uh…yeah… guys, this is Shikamaru, the… uh… father. Shikamaru, these are my brothers. The one with the tattoo on his forehead is Gaara and the scavenger is Kankurou," she introduced quickly. Kankurou emerged from the fridge to join Gaara in glaring at Shikamaru.

Shikamaru smiled nervously. "Hi…"

"So you're the charming fellow who knocked up my sister," Kankurou said in a rather ominous tone, or so it seemed to Shikamaru.

"Uh… well… it wasn't exactly… planned, you know- not, not that I regret it or anything," Shikamaru added hurriedly.

"So you're glad she's pregnant?" Kankurou asked coolly.

"Huh? No! I mean, yes! I… I mean, I'm in just as much of a situation as she is!"

"Are you trying to say you're as bad off as my sister?"

"No! I completely understand that she's got a harder time than me up ahead- but I'm here to support her!" Shikamaru declared, struggling to salvage the situation.

"I'm not bad off!" Temari interrupted.

"You're pregnant, Temari," Kankurou told her.

'I'm fully aware of that, but that doesn't mean- Kankurou, stop it, leave him alone. I told you-"

"You said we weren't allowed to kill or hurt him. I'm just talking," Kankurou defended.

"More like interrogating and intimidating. Whatever, Kankurou, just stop it," Temari ordered.

"Kankurou brought his gun," Gaara voiced disinterestedly. Kankurou turned to glare at his younger brother,

"Shut the fuck up, Gaara, you also brought your gun," he snapped. Gaara shrugged.

"I go nowhere without my gun."

"So why should I?" Kankurou returned. Temari gaped at her two brothers.

"I told you two to leave your guns at home!" she exclaimed.

Secchan gave a little giggle. "It's like a soap opera."

Four pairs of eyes turned towards her. "What? It is."

"Oh, guess what? Secchan has a boyfriend," Temari told her brothers, effectively changing the subject. Kankurou raised his eyebrows.

"A boyfriend? _A _boyfriend?"

"Hey, I've had boyfriends before," Secchan protested.

"Yeah, five at once," Kankurou rejoined.

Secchan opened her mouth to reply, then stopped. "Heh. Forgot about that. But that was once," she defended, then furrowed her brow. "Wait- who's my boyfriend?"

"Kiba, remember?" Temari said.

Secchan nodded her head. "Oh right. Wait- I don't remember us saying we were exclusive."

"He's a man-whore," Temari informed her brothers.

"Perfect match for Secchan, then," Kankurou teased.

"Oh, fuck you, Kankurou," Secchan shot. Kankurou spread his arms wide.

"Darlin', you already did."

"Oh right!" Secchan grinned. "No offense, but it's not something I wanna repeat."

"Ditto. You're like my sister. It'd be too weird," Kankurou said.

"And you're like my sister!" Secchan exclaimed.

Temari stifled a chuckle.

"I mean brother," Secchan corrected, her smile not wavering.

"I dunno hey, Secchan, you may be right about the whole sister thing," Gaara commented lazily.

Kankurou stood up stiffly and glared at his brother. "Gaara, shut the fuck up. You're just begging to be shot.

Gaara shrugged. "I'm just saying. I mean, you wear more make up than Temari."

"It's not make up, it's face paint!" snapped Kankurou loudly.

"So you keep saying, but…" Gaara trailed off.

"You do realize you guys must have had this argument at least a hundred times in the last twenty years," Temari commented.

"Only that many? I would've guessed more," Gaara mentioned.

"Never gets further than words, thank goodness," Temari muttered.

"That's only because I don't want to hurt my little brother," Kankurou declared.

Gaara snorted derisively.

"Bullshit," Secchan laughed. "You know he'd whup your ass."

"You couldn't hurt me if you tried," Gaara told his brother.

"Wanna bet?" Kankurou challenged.

"Don't you two dare!" Temari loudly stopped them. "I don't feel like playing nurse tonight."

Kankurou sighed loudly. "Fine. But only because I love you."

"And we don't want to scar the baby before it's born," Gaara added.

"Plenty of time for that afterwards," Secchan put in.

Shikamaru decided that the testosterone levels in the room were a bit too high for him and opted to leave before the aggressive siblings of his girlfriend turned their attention back to him. He stood up.

"Uh…I think I'm gonna go now. I have… uh… things to do. Um… nice meeting you," he said to the brothers, shuffling towards the door as fast as he could without being rude.

"Coward," muttered Kankurou as he past him, quiet enough that Temari couldn't hear.

"Fond of living," Shikamaru replied at the same volume.

Temari's hand prevented Kankurou lunging as she followed Shikamaru to the door.

"I'll see you tomorrow, 'kay?" she told him quietly as she held open the door for him.

"Yeah. DO me a favour and leave your guard dogs at home?" he requested with a smile.

She chuckled. "I'll try." She glanced at her brothers, who were scrutinizing every move both of them made. With that in mind she leaned up and gave him a quick kiss.

"Bye," she whispered.

"I'm gonna go before I get shot. Bye," he replied, smiling, and left the apartment. Temari closed the door behind him.

"What was that?" Kankurou demanded.

"What was what?" she asked innocently.

"You kissed him!" Kankurou exclaimed.

"So?"

"Temari, you did say in your letter that you are not in a relationship," Gaara said quietly.

"Yeah, well, things change," Temari replied belligerently.

"In a week?" Kankurou asked.

"Yes," Temari confirmed. "In a week. It just kinda… happened."

"Just like the pregnancy 'just kinda happened'?" Kankurou said.

"Well… we weren't drunk this time round," Temari said brightly.

"How do you know he's not doing this because he feels obligated to? Because you're pregnant?" Gaara inquired.

"Gaara, I did think of that."

"And?" Kankurou wanted to know.

"And he says that that's not the case," Temari told them.

_Are you gonna tell them exactly what he said?_

_Are you insane?...don't answer that. I'm not gonna tell them he said he wants to, quote unquote, 'fuck me senseless'. _

_Aw, why not?_

_Because I quite like him and want him alive so he __**can **__fuck me senseless._

_Aren't you a veritable little saint. I think it would be fun._

_What, him fucking me senseless?_

_N- well, yes, that too, but I meant telling them._

_You like causing trouble, don't you?_

_Love it._

"And you believe him?" Kankurou said doubtfully.

"Yes, as a matter of fact, I do," Temari declared.

"If it makes any difference, so do I," Secchan volunteered.

Gaara seemed to relax a bit, but Kankurou didn't seem to be convinced.

"Look, guys, I really think you should cut him some slack. He really is a decent guy," Secchan pitched in to help her friend.

"We'll decide that for ourselves, I think," Kankurou said.

"You guy's crashing here?" Secchan asked to divert the threatening argument that Temari was about to start.

"Might as well, if it's cool," Kankurou shrugged.

"I'll get the mattresses," Temari said, making her way out the room.

"I'll go get my bag," Gaara told them, making his way to the door.

"Don't you wanna get mine too, while you're there," called Kankurou.

"Fuck no, get it yourself," Gaara's voice drifted in from the landing.

"Meh, unhelpful bastard," Kankurou grunted and followed him out the door.

-END-

**A/N: And so the brothers arrive. Okay, sorry it's late in coming, but I don't have internet at home and it's Christmas holidays (our long holiday) so you know… yeah ok, that's no excuse. I lost the manuscript that was half the chapter? It's true. **

…**I tried. But anyway, I hope you enjoyed it (as usual) and please please please review because that really does make me want to update otherwise I think you're losing interest =( So please review. *puppy dog eyes* **


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

"Have you found it?"

"Shut up, Kankurou."

"But have you-"

"Yes."

"Dude, hurry, I think Temari's coming."

"Because you were talking so goddamn loudly. I'm done."

Temari walked into the lounge with a yawn and stopped, eyeing her brothers suspiciously.

"Why do you two look so guilty? Why are you standing so close together?" she asked.

"Guilty? We don't look guilty," Kankurou defended.

"And we're not standing _that _close together," Gaara added, edging away from Kankurou slightly.

Temari still looked at them suspiciously, before shrugging. "Whatever. I don't want to know. Pass me my bag."

Gaara held out his sister's handbag without a word.

"Thanks. I'm going shopping with Secchan. Try not to kill anyone while we're out, okay?"

"Okay," Kankurou and Gaara chorused.

Temari eyed them again and shook her head. "You guys are being way too good. Did you kill the busboy?"

Kankurou raised an eyebrow. "What busboy?"

"Oh my god you did!" Temari exclaimed.

"Temari, there isn't a busboy for us to have killed. There never was a busboy," Gaara said slowly.

_They're trying to brainwash me! Their own sister!_

…_no, sweetie, there never was a busboy. You don't live in a hotel._

…_uh… I knew that… I was just joking…_

…_let's just go shopping. _

Temari shook her head again.

"Secchan! You coming or not?" she called.

"I'm right there!" Secchan called back, bouncing out a second later. "Bye, guys," she said cheerfully.

"Bye," Gaara replied.

"See you later," Kankurou added.

"I still think you guys are being too good," Temari muttered. "Bye."

The two girls left the flat and the guys almost visibly relaxed. Gaara pulled his phone out.

"I wanna talk to him," Kankurou said.

"You will."

"First?"

"It's my phone."

Gaara pressed call on the number he had recently lifted from Temari's phone.

o0o0o0o

"Hello?" Shikamaru answered his phone, wondering who it could be.

"Shikamaru," a faintly menacing voice said.

"Yes, who's speaking?" Shikamaru asked cautiously.

"Gaara."

Shikamaru swallowed. Not good.

"Oh. Um. Hi. What can I do for you?"

"We need to talk."

"Oh, no, you're not going to break up with me, are you?" Shikamaru quipped. There was a deathly silence on the other end of the line. He coughed awkwardly.

"Ehm. Sorry."

"I think we need to meet up. Today."

"Today, huh? Uh…" Shikamaru thought desperately of a way he could say 'no' without seeming rude.

"You don't have much of a choice in the matter."

Ah. Well, that solved that problem…

"Okay, then. So, where?"

"Gaara, give me the phone!" a faint voice sounded.

"Oi, Shikamaru!" a more robust voice was now on the other end.

"Kankurou, I'm guessing," Shikamaru remarked dryly.

"Dude, what's your surname? It sounds too friendly, calling you by your first name."

"…Nara."

"Nara, you had better watch your step around my sister."

"Kankurou, you can threaten him later. Now give me back my phone," Gaara's voice sounded distantly.

"No!"

"Kankurou…"

"I'm talking to him! …Gaara, put down the knife. Put it down. Fine, here's the phone, jeez."

"Yes, okay, hi."

"Hi," Shikamaru nervously replied. _Knives?!_

"So, we will meet later, yes?"

"Okay." _Maybe I can just not show up._

"And you better show up. We know where you live." _Holy shit they're psychic!_

"No, we don't," Kankurou said in the background.

"No, but we know his name, therefore we can look him up," Gaara replied.

"Ah, yes."

"It's called thinking, Kankurou, you should try it sometime."

"You're such a little bitch, Gaara."

"I'll be there," Shikamaru volunteered.

"Very good. Now, do you know that place…"

o0o0o0o

Shikamaru sat across the table from the two current banes of his existence, tapping his knee nervously.

"So…" he started- anything to break the silence.

"Who said you could speak, Nara?" Kankurou snapped.

Shikamaru noticed that his hoodie had cat ears. How old was this guy, seriously?

"Why are you wearing make-up?" he asked, ignoring Kankurou's question.

Kankurou glowered at him. 'It's not make-up, it's face-paint. It's to make me look threatening."

"It makes you look like a clown," Gaara said.

"It doesn't!"

"Kankurou, I don't admit to knowing you when you wear it," Gaara told him. He looked around. "Go sit over there." He pointed over to another table.

"No."

"Fine."

They turned back to Shikamaru.

"What are your intentions with our sister?" Gaara inquired.

"Uh… well, I really like her so… I don't know. It's pretty new, so we'll see where it goes. And I'll always be around for our kid, so…" Shikamaru didn't quite know how to answer that question.

"Do you love her? Do you intend on spending the rest of your life with her?" Kankurou asked.

"What? I don't know!" Shikamaru exclaimed.

"Why not?" Kankurou demanded.

"Whaddaya mean, why not?"

"Why don't you know?" Kankurou explained.

"For god's sake, I'm only twenty-five. I don't know what I'm feeling," Shikamaru answered crossly.

Kankurou choked on his (oh-so-manly) milkshake.

"_Twenty-five?" _he exploded,"You're _younger _than Temari?"

"Uh… yes…" Shikamaru said cautiously.

"You're a flipping _kid!_"

"It's only three years-"

"That's an eternity!"

"I don't see the big problem."

"That's like _Gaara _dating her!"

A ringing silence followed Kankurou's declaration. He realised what he had said and his face crumpled in disgust.

"Oh. Ew," he said.

"That is wrong on so many levels," muttered Shikamaru, whose closed eyes and furrowed forehead conveyed his unease.

"Kankurou, you really need to learn to think before you speak," Gaara told his brother.

"I've just traumatized myself here, give me a second."

"Okay. Anyway, Nara. We just needed to make sure that your intentions towards her were honourable. And also to tell you that if you so much as put her in a bad mood, we will take it upon ourselves to exact justice. And our justice is painful," Gaara told him.

"Do hormone induced moods count?" Shikamaru asked weakly.

"Yes," Kankurou replied shortly- he had obviously recovered.

o0o0o0o

"You're ringing," Secchan told Temari as her phone went off. Temari fished it out and read the message.

_Your brothers are psycho evil murderers who have lured me here to kill me. Save me. _

Temari growled. "I knew they were looking too goddamn innocent."

"What?" Secchan asked.

"Kankurou and Gaara have coerced Shikamaru into meeting with them and he is now fearing for his life," Temari replied, typing her reply.

_Stupid fucks. Where are you?_

o0o0o0o

Shikamaru smirked when he saw her reply and started typing his reply.

"What are you doing?" Kankurou asked sharply.

Shikamaru looked up. "…texting?"

"Who?"

"..Temari?"

Gaara and Kankurou looked at each other and stood up.

"You told her," Kankurou accused.

"We were never here," Gaara told him.

"You didn't see anything," Kankurou added, and the two slinked away.

Shikamaru couldn't hold back a relieved smile. The two psychos had gone! Then his face fell, and he scowled.

"Fuckers. Left me with the bill."

-END-

**A/N: Yes, I know, late update. Sorry. Long, complicated kinda story. Actually, when did I last update? I can't remember. ANYWAY. Sort of a filler chapter- kind of but not quite. Hope you enjoyed it, please, please, please review. I love all of you dedicated reviewers who leave feedback regularly. You guys are awesomeness personified. (Read: You are awesome.) Please review!! **


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

_They've gone. Danger averted; I live for another day._

o0o0o0o

"YOU STUPID FUCKS!" Temari screeched into the phone, having returned home and discovered her brothers were not there. "YOU LYING SCUM OF THE EARTH!"

"TEMARI, CALM THE FUCK DOWN! YOU'RE GOING TO BURST MY EARDRUM_!" _Kankurou hollered back on the other end of the line.

"HOW DARE YOU CORNER SHIKAMARU LIKE THAT? YOU PROMISED ME YOU WOULDN'T!"

"Technically, we didn't. We were just talking to him, and we never actually said we wouldn't do what you told us not to do," Gaara's voice drifted through.

"Gaara says-"

"Yes, I heard what he said," Temari interrupted Kankurou irritably. "How did he know what I said?"

"Well, you were yelling really loudly."

"Whatever. Anyway, that's not the fucking point, you assholes. I still can't believe that you did that. He thought you were going to kill him! And besides, what gives you the right to go and mess with my life? I can make the mistakes that I want or don't want to make and if I make those mistakes I don't want to make then it's my mistake and I have to deal the consequences of _my mistake_ and you guys can't interfere because it's _my _mistake not your bloody mistake! Got that?"

"…I don't know. You said mistake a lot of times."

"SHUT UP! Who the fuck was asking you?" Temari snapped.

"…You were…"

"Don't take that tone with me, Kankurou! I'm not the one in the wrong here, you are, you worthless excuse for a lima bean!"

"…lima bean?"

"SHUT UP! Argh, I'm too angry to even insult you properly! What was I talking about?"

"…Ice cream."

"Oh, chocolate ice cream all the way. Although vanilla can be really nice sometimes. But then, of course, you get those special ice cream cafés, and then you just drown in your own drool and get really fat because you can't decide which ice cream you want because they're all so yummy so you just try them all and then go back for more because they are just too delicious- especially the cinnamon. And the coconut. Oooh, and the amarula ice cream, oh my god, that is just dreamy! But those aren't the only flavours that are _to die for_, they've got like the triple chocolate, and the sour cherry, and the honeycomb, and the lemon meringue, and the- THAT IS NOT WHAT I WAS TALKING ABOUT!" Temari yelled.

Kankurou sniggered. "Took you long enough."

Temari growled. "Oh, buddy, you are so dead when you get back, I'm going to poison your dinner, you just see if I don't. You and Gaara, the little brat. I still can't believe you did that, seriously, that's why I moved away from you guys, because you ALWAYS mess up my relationships, sticking your noses in where they weren't wanted. Seriously, don't you think that it's a little late for you to be cock-blocking for me? Don't answer that it was a rhetorical question. Oh, and why do you guys only get all super-hyper-over-protective with me? Why not Secchan? She's like your sister anyway, and don't give me all that 'but not by blood' crap because that just doesn't cut it. And anyway, what the hell, you guys can't try to control my life, that's my job! I'm the older sibling, I get to boss you around, I get to mess with your relationships, I get to interrogate you, I get to control your life, not THE OTHER WAY ROUND! I was born first, _just in case _you've forgotten! Besides, I'm the sister, I have that whole maternal vibe going on, not you, so don't try to act like you're my parents because you're not, and that just put some really unwanted images in my head, which means I'm going to be even more pissed off with you guys later because it's because of you that that image was put into my head so I'm just going to feed you fried dog shit and hit you over the head with a frying pan, which is going to have to be the Teflon coated one so your brains don't stick to it, and then YOU'RE going to have to clean up the mess! And do you know why? BECAUSE YOU BASTARDS DESERVE IT!" Temari ranted. "And what's more-"

Secchan stopped listening to the highly amusing irate Temari when her phone vibrated.

"Hello?" she answered.

"Secchan, hi," Kankurou said on the other end.

Secchan looked at her phone (Gaara's caller ID) and at Temari, still yelling into her phone. She replaced the phone on her ear and turned away.

"Aren't you on the phone with Tem-"

"Yes, she's currently yelling at the dashboard, my ear was starting to hurt," Kankurou cut her off. "So anyway, I have to call in a favour."

"Call in a favour?" Secchan chuckled. "Sweetheart, you're already in debt."

"Can I take out a loan?" Kankurou pleaded.

"Maybe," Secchan relented. "Whaddaya need?"

"Can you calm Temari down? I don't really wanna die tonight."

"Is that why you guys aren't home? To avoid her?" Secchan asked, grinning.

"Duh. We can sense her killer intent a freaking continent away."

"What if I don't want to give you that loan?"

"Then we'll die, and you don't want that do you?" Kankurou wheedled.

"Oh I don't know…" Secchan joked.

"Bitch. But we both know you're gonna do it."

Secchan laughed. "I'll try. In case it doesn't work, buy her some chocolates and promise not to do it again."

"But that's a lie."

"Yeah, but she doesn't know that."

"She will. She has that whole freaky older sister ESP shit going on."

"Oh well. Chocolate then."

"You really think that'll work?"

"Nope. Bye."

Laughing, Secchan hung up.

"Kankurou! KANKUROU! KANKUROU, YOU FUCKING BASTARD, ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME? KANKUROU!" Temari was yelling.

o0o0o0o

In the car, Kankurou eyed the phone lying on the dashboard with the tinny voice yelling his name.

"So, what'd Secchan say?" Gaara asked.

"She said she'd try. And that we should buy her chocolates," Kankurou replied.

"Who, Secchan?"

"No, Temari."

"Speaking of Temari…" Gaara glanced at the phone, which was now issuing death threats. "We don't really want to aggravate her more, do we?"

Kankurou reached over and snapped the phone shut. "I ran out of battery," he said.

The brothers sat there in silence for a minute or so.

"So, what movies are on?"

o0o0o0o

_Much later that evening…_

"Now. Do it now. Phone him."

o0o0o0o

Shikamaru picked up the phone for the second time that day.

"Yes?"

"Nara. Hi." It was Kankurou.

"No more meetings, or I'll call Temari and tell her you called," Shikamaru said immediately.

Kankurou laughed scornfully. "Aw, is the widdle cwybaby scawed of the big scawy me-"

"Kankurou!" a familiar feminine voice sounded in the background.

Kankurou coughed. "Yeah. There's really no need to tell Temari," he said grimly.

Shikamaru almost laughed. No fucking way…

"Apologise. Right this fucking second, Kankurou, or I will hurt you." He heard Temari demand in the background, and a disbelieving grin spread across his face.

"Yeah. Okay, well… about earlier today… um… yeah, sorry…" Kankurou mumbled.

"I'm sorry, what was that? I'm afraid I didn't hear you," Shikamaru said, unable to resist.

"Don't push it, Nara," Kankurou growled. And then yelped in pain. "What the fuck, Temari!"

"Apologise! NOW!"

"Fine. So, yeah, Nara, what I said was I'm sorry. You know, for earlier. Yeah, sorry about the threats and shit…"

"THREATS?!" Temari screeched in the background.

"It was Gaara's idea!" Kankurou defended, obviously having taken the phone away from his ear. Didn't make him less audible to Shikamaru, though.

"Gaara…" he heard Temari faintly say in a rather scary way- so _that's _where her brothers had learnt it from!

He heard shuffling.

"Sorry, Nara, please accept my humble apologies," Gaara's deadpan voice filtered through the receiver clearly.

More shuffling.

"Temari, we've apologised, surely that's enough," Kankurou complained in the distance.

"Ugh, fine."

Yet more shuffling.

"Hey. Sorry about those bastards. They suck at apologising, that's the best I'm gonna get outta them. I'll give you a real apology when I next see you, 'kay, babe?" her voice took on a suggestive tone, and he had a feeling she had tacked that last bit on just for her brothers.

"Oh, ew, Temari, not cool. Not cool!" And Kankurou's disgusted comments seemed to confirm that.

She laughed. "Bye."

"Bye. See you," Shikamaru replied before she hung up. He chuckled. She had actually forced her brothers- her damn scary ass homicidal mafia brothers- to call him and apologise. And they had done so.

"Fuck, I love that woman," he murmured, wearing a fond smile.

He shook his head with another chuckle.

…Wait, what did he just say?

-TBC-

**A/N: It hasn't been that long, has it? Has it? I can't remember when I last updated! Did I take forever? Or… not? **

**Anyway…**

**This chapter has important plot advancing points in it.**

**Okay, it's a filler chapter.**

**But the last bit is rather plot advancing, oh yeah, I'm not completely useless. ^^**

**I really enjoyed writing this chapter (I always enjoy writing this story. Everyone's so insane (and/or perverted), it's just amazingly fun. SO I hope you enjoyed reading it. Please tell me what you thought (and when if I took too long to update) in a review (amazing invention those- seriously, don't you wish you could just review after chapters of books and shit? Sometimes I really, really wish I could. You know?)**

**Laters! (Lolzors I did not just say that XD)**


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

"God, you're so fucking beautiful," he groaned, his eyes lidded with lust.

Her only reply was a breathless, needy moan as she reached up for him, bringing his mouth to hers. "Less talk, more fucking," she mumbled against his lips, needing it, needing him.

His answering chuckle was short and dry before his lips attacked her neck, slipping against her wet skin.

She gasped as she felt them joined again, moving as one entity.

"I love you, Shikamaru."

o0o0o0o

"Shoot me, Gaara. Seriously, please, just shoot me now, I can't take it."

o0o0o0o

Temari woke with a start, drenched with sweat and feeling decidedly… warm.

_Aw, why'd you wake up?_

_Oh. My. God. I can't believe I just dreamed… ohmigod._

Her face flooded red as she remembered her very explicit dream about her and Shikamaru. She felt a little damp down there and blushed even harder.

_I just had a fucking wet dream about him ohmigod somebody kill me now._

_What the fuck, overreact much?_

_I'm never going to be able to look him in the face again!_

_Oh come on! It's nothing you haven't done before._

…_Oh god, I want him so much._

She flopped onto her back and pulled a pillow over her head, trying to get rid of the burning in her face and that uncomfortable warm insistent urging somewhat lower down.

It wasn't working.

_If he's not here, take the next best alternative, sweetheart._

_What?_

_Your h-_

_No fucking way am I masturbating. My brothers are sleeping right in the lounge, and this place is not exactly a soundproof._

_But-_

_Too. Awkward._

She squeezed her legs together, trying to suppress the urge. Squeezed the pillow tighter to prevent her hand from doing anything it wasn't meant to.

Eventually she fell asleep again.

o0o0o0o

The next morning, Kankurou looked tired and twitchy. Gaara looked as if he were imagining butterflies and rainbows and unicorns and determinedly not allowing his mind to wander.

Temari walked into the kitchen and headed straight for the cereal, not noticing the glare Kankurou was sending her way.

"You!" he exploded, pointing a trembling finger in her direction. She blinked at him, confused.

"What the fuck is wrong with you? You're pregnant!"

She squinted at him. "Yeah, we've established that. Did Gaara finally explain to you how babies are made?" she asked him sarcastically.

"Ha," he replied facetiously, "Snarky bitch."

"Dontcha know it."

"Pregnant people are not meant to think about sex! Or have sex! Or dream about sex! Or remember sex even exists! Just… no, it's wrong, pregnant people and sex do not go together. Just no."

The irony of that statement was not lost on Temari.

"Actually, Kankurou, pregnant people and sex go together quite intimately because you kinda need sex to get pr-"

"Not the fucking point!"

She was taken aback by his explosion. "Now who's the snarky bitch, Kankurou? What the fuck are you on about, anyway?"

"What the…oh…oh… am I on about? What the…oooh." Kankurou looked ready to blow a gasket.

Secchan sat grinning and the counter. "Hey, Temari, how'd you dream last night?" Secchan smirked at Temari, whose eyes were widening and whose face was flushing a colour similar to that of a ripe tomato.

Kankurou pointed at Secchan, still looking at his sister. "That's what the fuck I'm on about."

"You're not serious," Temari whispered, horrified.

"Haven't I told you you talk in your sleep sometimes?" Secchan asked innocently.

Temari groaned and hid her face in her hands.

_I. Am. Going. To. DIE._

_They heard all that? Well, fuck, you shoulda masturbated._

…

…_Okay, you can stop growling at me now…_

Secchan laughed and made her way over to Temari, patting her on the back.

"Sweetheart, if you're that horny, just fuck him," she said sympathetically.

Kankurou gaped at Secchan, aghast. "Do you mind?" he exclaimed. Secchan blinked owlishly at him.

"What?"

"Wha-? Hello! Sister! My sister! Sister! Me, still in the r- sister!" he spelled it out, gesturing between himself and Temari.

Secchan shrugged. "She's Gaara's sister too, and he hasn't said anything."

Kankurou looked exasperatedly at her. "That's because he's listening to his iPod full blast _and can't hear you_," he seethed, carefully enunciating the last four words.

Secchan paused. Sure enough, when no-one was talking, you could hear a little tinny sound coming from Gaara's ears.

"Kanky, she may your sister, but she's also a woman, and one who really needs to get laid at that," Secchan told him kindly.

Identical strangled sounds emerged from both Kankurou and Temari, for different reasons.

Kankurou because he was incredibly disturbed by the image thrust into his head with those words.

He seemed to be trying to convince himself the last twelve hours had not happened.

Temari because she was mortified.

She was currently wishing a hole would open up beneath her feet.

"Secchan, you have no tact whatsoever," she hissed through gritted teeth.

Secchan grinned. "I know."

Temari took a deep breath and grabbed her bag. "I'm going to work now," she said stiffly.

"Yeah, because you're gonna be so late," Secchan teased.

_Fuck. I'd be at work about an hour early._

Outwardly, Temari took no notice of what Secchan had said and marched out of the apartment.

After she had gotten in her car and driven to work and was parked in the (mostly empty) underground parking, she groaned and allowed her head to drop back against her headrest.

_Well, I'm not going in there. Now what the fuck am I gonna do?_

_Well, you could always masturb-_

_Shut up._

o0o0o0o

_Just once?_

_No._

_Maybe if you tried it you wouldn't be such a bitch._

_FUCK. OFF._

_You can't, so mastur-_

_NO!_

o0o0o0o

"Hey, Temari," Shikamaru greeted. Temari jumped slightly and squeaked. When she saw him, she turned bright red, the details of her previous night's dream crashing into the forefront of her mind.

Okay, to be honest, it hadn't really left. Her traitorous, evil mind had actually been building on it. And now he was standing in front of her, all gorgeously sexy and… looking at her funny. Great.

"Hi!" she chirped, willing the blood to die down from her cheeks. He squinted at her.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"Perfectly fine!"

"Are you sure!"

"Yip!"

_I'm sure you're perfectly fine too. _

_Yeah, thanks, I noticed that already, kinda need my concentration here._

"You're looking a little… flushed. Is it anything to do with the baby?" Shikamaru asked, concerned.

_Well, it depends on what you mean by 'to do with the baby'._

_Don't distract me!_

"No, no. I'm just feeling a little… warm," Temari improvised. Weakly.

"Is there anything I can do?"

_Feel free to do me, baby!_

Temari almost groaned.

_And there goes my concentration._

"No, no, really, I'm fine. Got… got a lot of work to do," Temari laughed nervously, still bright red.

Shikamaru smiled.

"Sorry. I just wanted to say hi."

"No, no, it's fine. I love y- seeing you."

"And vice versa. I'm gonna get too the grindstone now, see you at lunch?"

Temari nodded. "Yeah, that sound great. See you then!"

He stuck his hands in his pockets and wandered off after nodding a farewell to her.

As he got out of sight, she groaned and buried her beet red face in her arms.

Oh, what was this man doing to her?!

-END-

**A/N: Yes, it's sort of… odd. But it's part of the plot. I think. But anyway, I've just written this last part in a hurry (not that it makes it worse- it was planned) because I want to get this up today and so not prolong your waiting I decided to type it up quickly before this stupid choir performance I have tonight and post it, finished and **_**klaar**_**. So here it is! I hope you enjoyed it- I'm still LOVING writing it, which is great, and I don't think I took too long to update! I mean, 3 weeks? Not that bad… Yeah, some of you might disagree, but in my defense it honestly doesn't feel like 3 weeks! And I've been really busy! Tests, Roman Banquet, Ninja camp, ballroom, ninjutsu, choir, homework… speaking of which I should really do my Latin… anyway, I have no idea why my life has suddenly become so busy. I think they've shortened the day *suspicious glare*. But in any case, if you feel I've taken too long, shout at me in a review, and tell me what you thought in the process!! Or, you know, just review anyway… please?**


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

Temari spent most of lunch studying Shikamaru contemplatively in silence, which, needless to say, made him slightly nervous as he tried to keep the conversation going.

'So… is your food…uh, good?' he asked weakly.

'Hmm? Yeah, it's great,' she replied distractedly, still eyeing him.

'That's, uh…that's good.' Shikamaru nodded, tapping his fork.

There was an awkward silence that only Shikamaru seemed to notice.

'Yeah, um, mine's really… mine's really good too,' Shikamaru offered after a while.

'Are you doing anything this afternoon?' Temari asked suddenly.

Shikamaru blinked in surprise. 'Uh. No. No, no plans. Why?'

Temari leaned back in her seat. 'I want to go out. Do you want to, maybe, catch a movie with me or something?' she asked.

'Um, movie... yeah, sure,' Shikamaru said, surprised. 'Is there any particular movie you wanted to see?'

Temari shrugged. 'No. Not at all. I just want to do something this afternoon, and a movie was the first thing I thought of.'

'Any particular reason you suddenly decided you wanted to do something?' Shikamaru asked, not admitting to himself that maybe he was asking this simply to get her to maybe say something to boost his ego. Because he totally wasn't. That just wasn't him. It was completely tacky. Yeah.

'No, I just don't want to go home,' Temari replied.

Shikamaru's forehead creased. 'Why not?'

Temari's jaw twitched as red started flooding her cheeks. 'No reason,' she replied in a slightly strangled voice.

Shikamaru narrowed his eyes at her, a smirk playing with the corners of his mouth.

'Oh really. So... why were you at work so early this morning?' he asked innocently.

Temari's cheeks flushed even more. 'No reason. Why do you ask? Why do you think that I was at work early? Why would you think that?'

'Well, while I might not be the most motivated person in the world, I tend to get to work early,' Shikamaru started.

'Bull,' Temari interrupted.

Shikamaru laughed. 'Okay, so maybe I don't. But, but.' Shikamaru raised a finger to stop Temari even as she opened her mouth to respond.

'I did get to work early today- at least earlier than I usually do- because I had some work to finish that might have been due first thing this morning. And I noticed your car there. You know, I have noticed you, and I do know what time you usually come in. And you don't like getting up earlier than strictly necessary.' Shikamaru smiled triumphantly, settling back in his chair, having proved his point.

'How do you know that?' Temari protested.

'You told me,' Shikamaru rejoined.

Temari chewed on her bottom lip.

'So why were you early?' Shikamaru reiterated.

Temari avoided his gaze. 'No reason.'

'Bull.' Shikamaru grinned.

'Whatever. I'm not going to tell you,' Temari muttered.

'Why not? Is it embarrassing?' Shikamaru coaxed teasingly.

'Look, do you want to see a movie or not?' Temari said loudly, ignoring what Shikamaru had said.

Shikamaru laughed. 'Sure. Sounds like a plan.'

'Great. Okay. We should probably be getting back now,' Temari said, lifting her hand to wave the waitress over.

'Yeah, because it has nothing to do with the fact that you don't want me to find out why you've avoiding your house. I'm thinking it might be related to your two brutish brothers. Or maybe... well, it's embarrassing so..." Shikamaru trailed off, watching her face carefully, as her cheeks went red again.

'Just for that, you're paying,' Temari said, standing up and grabbing her bag.

'Oh come on-' Shikamaru started as she started hurrying away, before he just began laughing.

'I promise I'll drop it this afternoon!' he called after her in between laughter. She simply continued to walk, pausing only to open the door.

'I won't say another word! Promise!' he yelled as the door swung shut behind her. He shook his head, chuckling, as he got out the money and put it in the ill the waitress had bought.

_Yeah, okay, so maybe that was my fault. But hey._

o0o0o

'So, that movie was good,' Shikamaru said as they walked to the car later that afternoon.

'Are you kidding me? It was kinda ridiculous,' Temari replied.

Shikamaru chuckled. 'That it most certainly was,' he agreed. 'It's called being facetious.'

She glanced at him sideways. 'I totally knew that.'

'Yeah, no, of course, no question about it,' Shikamaru replied, eyeing the sky.

'Stop doing it.'

'Doing what?' he asked innocently, his hands in his pockets.

'Being facetious.'

'I am not being facetious!' he replied, acting as if he were shocked by the very idea.

Because he totally was being facetious.

'Hey, can I come in for some coffee?' Temari asked as they drove towards the parking bay of their office building where they had left her car.

'Yeah, sure. You want to get your car first?' Shikamaru asked.

She eyed him again. 'Nah, no need. I can get it afterwards. You don't live too far away.'

'Okay then,' Shikamaru replied, swinging the steering wheel to go down a different road.

o0o0o

They hadn't been sitting in his lounge for too long when Temari leaned forward and kissed him.

Shikamaru replied in enthusiastic kind, chuckling when Temari settled herself against him.

'The kettle's boiling, if you want that coffee,' he murmured against the lips, chuckled when she replied with a quick; 'Fuck the coffee.'

Temari kissed him thoroughly, and vice versa, before Shikamaru pulled back a little.

'Getting a little heavy there, Temari,' he murmured.

She abruptly sat up and glared at him. 'Are you calling me fat?' she demanded.

'What? No!' he exclaimed. 'No, I didn't mean you were getting heavy, I meant… the... we were...um...' He looked faintly awkward as if he didn't know how to put it into words.

_He so doesn't get where this is going._

_Do I get where it's going? Is it going where I think it's going? Is it going in the good direction?_

_Well, I sure as hell wasn't using my hand._

_I love you, Giant Spaghetti Monster in the Sky, I really do. She's finally come to her senses._

'Shikamaru, do you remember when we first got together, what you said?' Temari asked, realising she'd have to spell it out for him.

'No, I was trashed,' Shikamaru promptly replied.

Temari was silenced for a second.

'Okay, not the first time. I meant when we started going out.' she clarified.

'You mean that very faintly awkward first date?' Shikamaru asked, playing oblivious- at least, she hopes he was playing oblivious. He had to be.

'Okay, no. In the lift? Yeah, then. Do you remember what you said?' Temari asked.

'I don't know. Kind of. What of what I said are you referring to?' he asked.

'The part where you said you wanted to fuck me senseless?' Temari said bluntly.

It was Shikamaru's turn to go red. 'Did I really say that?' he asked in a small voice.

_Did you really have to put it so bluntly?_

_Really? Did that just happen? Are you calling me too blunt?_

_Wow. Weird, innit?_

_WHY are you talking in a British accent?_

_I'm not._

_You so were though._

_One word. It was one word._

_Still._

_Aw, look, he's gone all red and awkward._

_I wasn't too blunt, though._

_Isn't it just adorable?_

_I know, right?_

'Yes, you did,' Temari confirmed.

'Okay. So, what about it?' Shikamaru asked, trying to maintain a cool composure.

'Yeah, sounds like a pretty good idea right about now,' Temari told him matter of factly, nodding her head.

_You are never allowed to call me blunt ever again._

_Whatever._

_I mean it._

_Fine. But I can still call you tactless. _

_But…eh. Answer boy, man, so we can get on with the fun stuff._

_Did you just call me a man? Or did you call Shikamaru a boy-man?_

_Fine. Get on with it, woman!_

_Fine._

Meanwhile, Shikamaru was choking on thin air.

'Um. Are you okay?' Temari asked cautiously, as Shikamaru thumped his chest before elapsing into a coughing fit.

'Yeah, totally,' he wheezed. 'Um. What did you say?'

Temari raised an eyebrow at him. 'To paraphrase, I want you to fuck me senseless?'

Shikamaru nodded. 'Yeah, that's what I thought. Really?'

'Yeah. The hormones are driving me crazy,' Temari sighed.

'Oh. Um. Is it… um… y'know… safe? For the baby, I mean,' Shikamaru hurriedly added.

Temari shrugged. 'Should be. I mean, apparently horniness is quite common in pregnant women.'

Shikamaru shot her an odd glance. 'How do you know that?' he asked.

'Um. Well, you see, Shikamaru, I'm not putting on weight because I'm eating more than usual,' Temari said patronizingly.

_Even though you totally are._

_I'm eating for two, shut up. It's allowed._

'No, I know that. I meant… how do you know it's common? Did you actually research it?' Shikamaru asked.

'No. Secchan did,' Temari replied.

'Really?'

'Well, she heard it somewhere, and told me,' Temari amended.

'I didn't know that,' Shikamaru said.

'Or course not, how could you have?'

'No, I meant the horny pregnant women thing,' Shikamaru said.

'Oh. Yeah. While we're on the topic of horny pregnant women, about the whole having sex thing…' Temari prompted him.

_Geniuses are too easily distracted._

_I think that's genii, actually._

_Whatever. I just wanna get laid already._

'Oh, well, yeah.' Shikamaru nodded. 'Doesn't sound like too bad of an idea,' he said lightly, the corner of his lips twitching into a smile.

Temari smirked and moved forward. 'Good boy,' she murmured, leaning in for a kiss.

_Score!_

_Oh yes we will…_

o0o0o

'_And now, how, we like to say that we're in love, doesn't it, seem like that should be enough, but, the world will roll their eyes, but I still think, well I still think that we're in love…'_

Shikamaru woke up to the sound of a shower running and Temari singing lustily.

He blinked and looked around, and then smiled.

_Pregnant girlfriend singing in the shower in the morning… life's pretty good right now, _he decided, then thought about it. _That scenario should be terrifying, but it's actually not,_ he thought, and glanced to where the singing was coming from.

'_I don't play much, but I do enjoy having the ball in my court, and what's more, I like playing, for love..' _Temari sang.

Shikamaru smiled to himself and leaned back.

_I think I'm in love with this woman._

Shikamaru was making breakfast when Temari joined him, dressed.

'Good morning,' he greeted.

'Very good morning indeed,' she replied brightly.

He laughed. 'Just a point of curiosity, you avoiding your house yesterday, was that anything to do with the horny hormones?' he asked off-handedly.

Temari coughed. 'What did you just call them?' she asked, grinning.

He shrugged. 'It seemed like an apt name. Don't avoid the question.'

'I'm not answering it,' Temari replied.

He laughed. 'Fine.'

o0o0o

'Have a good day,' he said as Temari settled into her desk at work.

'You too,' she replied.

Shikamaru began to walk away, and then stopped and turned to face her.

'I love you,' he said, and then smiled. 'And you can tell your brothers that.'

With that, he turned and walked off, idly whistling the tune Temari had been singing that morning, leaving Temari with her mouth hanging open.

_Did I just hear that correctly._

_Well, he did enunciate pretty clearly, so…_

_Yeah, I thought so too…_

_Wow. We're actually both in shock._

o0o0o

'What you said this morning? Yeah, me too.'

'Well, that's a relief.'

o0o0o

'Oooh, the walk of shame,' Secchan grinned as Temari drifted through the door that afternoon.

'That's only in the morning,' Temari shot back.

'Dude, you didn't come home last night, you're wearing the same clothes you did yesterday, and you have a decidedly smug look on your face. Also, the sexual frustration in rolling off you in waves anymore,' Secchan listed. 'Totally the walk of shame.'

Temari grinned. 'I really don't mind.'

'You are disgusting, you know that?' Kankurou declared, stopping in the doorway.

'No, I don't believe I do. Why am I disgusting again?' Temari asked innocently.

Kankurou looked at her, disgruntled. 'I can't say it.'

'Say what?' Temari deadpanned, one eyebrow raised.

'Temari, why didn't you come home last night?' Gaara asked coolly, entering the room.

A sly grin spread over Temari's face.

Kankurou made a sound of disgust. 'That's just wrong,' he muttered mutinously.

'So is Shikamaru's place nice?' Secchan asked innocently.

'Beautiful,' Temari replied.

'How's his bed look?' Secchan grinned slyly.

'Even better,' Temari replied, mirroring Secchan's smile.

'That is disgusting and wrong!' Kankurou exclaimed, a look of horror upon his face.

'Secchan, you're not funny,' Gaara told her. 'Neither are you, Temari.'

'And it's immoral and just plain wrong!' Kankurou declared, 'You're not even married.'

'What does that have to do with it?' Temari asked.

'It's immoral!' Kankurou reiterated.

'You're not married, and I know you're not a virgin,' Temari pointed out.

'Yeah, but… you're a girl,' Kankurou said.

'Yeah, I'm pretty sure the girls you sleep with aren't married either,' Temari dead-panned.

'Well, not all of them,' Gaara remarked.

Temari's eyes widened in surprise and she turned back to Kankurou. 'Now who's immoral!' she exclaimed.

He looked put out. 'I didn't know,' he said.

'How she kept the husband from you, and not you from the husband will always mystify me,' Gaara commented.

'When he came after me, it was the first I heard of it,' Kankurou declared.

Temari turned to Secchan. 'Secchan, listen to them. How am I the one in the wrong?'

'Why would anyone want to get married when they're just going to sleep around anyway,' Secchan wondered.

'You're no help,' Temari sighed.

'You're pregnant and only dating the guy, and then you add fornicating while pregnant to the list! How is that not wrong?' Kankurou exclaimed.

'Fornicating? Really, Kankurou?' Secchan giggled.

'Whatever. I don't care. He loves me, bitches,' Temari announced, and with that, flounced through to her bedroom.

Gaara and Kankurou were left speechless, while Secchan grinned wildly, hopped off the chair and hurried after Temari.

'Did he really say that?' she asked excitedly, 'What did you say? What did you do?'

Gaara and Kankurou looked at each other.

'Did she really just say that?' Kankurou asked.

'It appears that we may have overreacted,' Gaara said softly.

Kankurou let out a short laugh. 'Yeah, no, that's not possible, our little sister is pregnant.'

Gaara raised an eyebrow. 'Kankurou, Temari's older than us.'

Kankurou waved a hand dismissively. 'Whatever! Still our sister! Still not cool!'

Gaara eyed him. 'Kankurou, are you on drugs?'

Kankurou looked at him in exasperation. 'You've asked me this before, no, I am not. Why would you think that? How is my behaviour indicative of any sort of drug use!' he exclaimed.

'You used long words so I would think you weren't, didn't you.'

'I'm not on drugs!'

'You're certainly not mentally stable!'

'Your face isn't mentally stable!'

'Really, Kankurou? Really?'

-tbc-

**A/N: Okay, you have permission to take a pot-shot at me. I deserve it. I know, it's been forever. Like, 19 months or something ridiculous like that. I've felt HORRIBLE, I promise. **

**BUT. Good news is that I'm not doing a set story for NaNoWriMo this year, I'm just freewriting, so I'm using it to update all those stories I need to update –and work on that other original story I started yesterday- so updates should be coming fairly regularly this month. In fact, I hope to finish this story this month. Yeah. So. That's a frantic apology from me. And I really hope you enjoyed this long-awaited update, even though I think my writing style has changed from the previous chapters, but I hope you'll forgive me if it isn't quite what the rest is. And I really hope that you can find it in your heart to review, even if it is simply to yell abuse at me for the length between my updates, which I completely deserve. Or to declare that you've forgotten everything that happened beforehand. Which is understandable.**

**Oh, the song Temari sings is a song called 'I Still Think' by Darren Criss, an amazingly talented, ridiculously beautiful man. If you're a Harry Potter fan, you might know of him, if you're a Glee fan you will know of him very soon and if you're a Starkid, REPRESENT! =)**

**Thank you for reading, and again- I'm really sorry.**


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

_**Two Weeks Later**_

'Okay, now that we're all assembled here, I've called this meeting for a very important reason,' Kankurou started in an officious manner.

Temari rolled her eyes. 'Kankurou, if this is about the whole us having sex thing, then I'm leaving.'

Kankurou's eye twitched, and he placed a finger on his temple. 'Can't you just... I don't know... never say that again? Ever?' he asked in a strained voice.

Temari gaped. 'Are you serious? You're... you're just letting it go? Just like that?'

'I still don't like it, but I figure if I just ignore it, and pretend that it doesn't happen and... just doesn't exist in my mind, then...' Kankurou swallowed. 'Then I figure I should be okay.'

'I can't believe it! You haven't stopped bitching about it for the past two weeks!' Temari exclaimed.

'Hey, Temari, let's not push it, because I'm quite liking this new approach,' Shikamaru assured her hurriedly, placing a hand on her arm.

'You know what, that's not actually right,' Secchan said, her brow furrowed. 'He actually hasn't said anything about it this past few days.'

Temari considered this. 'You're right. I mean, he's barely been in the house for the past few days. I didn't really realise.'

'He has been suspiciously absent,' Gaara said slowly, looking at Kankurou in consideration.

'I can't believe I didn't notice the house was so quiet!' Secchan exclaimed.

'I was quite surprised I didn't get any death threats. Well, except for that one,' Shikamaru amended.

Temari looked at him in surprise. 'What one? You got a death threat? Why didn't you tell me?'

'Because I stopped Kankurou in the middle of it,' Gaara interjected.

Shikamaru chuckled. 'It was quite funny actually.'

'_Nara, I know about your exploits with my sister the other day, and I do not approve. I want you to know that if it happens again you will not live to see another day, no matter what my sister might say or-'_

'_Kankurou, what are you doing? Give me the phone.'_

'_No- Gaara- Gaara! Give it back.'_

'_Stop threatening to kill him, it's not very polite.'_

'_But he-'_

'_Yeah, and that was sorted out.'_

'_How?' _

'_Sorry about that, Nara, Kankurou's an uncultured, unmannered idiot.'_

'_I resent that!'_

'_Shut up, Kankurou. It won't happen again, Nara.'_

'_Yes it will!'_

'_Grow up, Kankurou. Goodbye.'_

'Whether it was funny or not is completely beside the point. He's not supposed to be able to get away with stuff like that,' Temari said.

'He didn't,' Gaara said dryly.

'All you need to do is say about two words to put him in his place,' Secchan laughed.

Gaara gave a little smirk and a nod of acknowledgement.

'Okay, I suppose I'll let it go,' Temari relented.

'Yeah, why give him any ideas?' Shikamaru joked.

'Baby!' Kankurou exclaimed, causing everyone to stop talking and look at him in surprise and consternation.

He sighed. 'That was the important reason I called this meeting.'

'Baby?' Temari said slowly.

'Your baby, to be specific,' Kankurou replied.

Temari smiled a little nervously. 'Don't have one yet.'

'Yeah, but you will, fairly soon. I think. I'm not sure how far along you are,' Kankurou said, waving a hand in the general direction of Temari's stomach.

Temari opened her mouth to respond but Kankurou interrupter her.

'Don't need to either, point is. The baby is on its way,' Kankurou declared.

'Yeah, the stork's just gonna drop it right down the chimney,' Gaara remarked dryly.

'We don't have a chimney, so we might have a problem there,' Secchan joked.

'Storks never dropped babies down chimneys, that would just be mean,' Temari said.

'Not to mention really bad for the baby,' Shikamaru added.

'Okay, forget the storks now!' Kankurou interjected loudly. 'Stop getting distracted. Okay. So. You two.' He pointed at Temari and Shikamaru. 'You're having a baby. And what have you done? I mean, to prepare. Like. Nothing.'

'I've read a baby book,' Temari protested weakly.

'But you guys have done no real preparation,' Kankurou pointed out.

'He's right,' Gaara added, 'You guys have been all wrapped up in each other. I mean, Temari, you don't have anyone to ask about the whole... you know... process.'

'You are the first one we know to have a kid,' Secchan remarked, 'Also, what am I doing here?'

'You're family,' Kankurou said dismissively. 'And it's true, this birth is going to sneak up on you guys and you won't know what to do, because you won't be prepa-'

'Speaking of family,' Secchan interrupted, 'what about your parents, Shikamaru? I mean, they've had a kid before, couldn't they help you guys prepare?'

Shikamaru's eyes widened. 'Um. I haven't... actually told them yet.'

'What?' Kankurou exclaimed.

'Really? Not yet? What, are you embarrassed or something?' Temari asked archly.

'No! Of course not!' Shikamaru exclaimed. 'I just... forgot...' he trailed off.

'You forgot you were having a baby? Really? Temari, are you sure about this guy?' Kankurou said.

'I didn't forget about the baby! I just... forgot to tell them,' Shikamaru clarified.

'Well, now we've reminded you. So when are you going to tell them?' Kankurou asked him.

'Do I have to?' Shikamaru asked, wincing.

'I told them,' Temari said, pointing to her brothers.

'Yeah, I guess I should,' Shikamaru conceded.

'We could always tell them for you,' Gaara offered.

Shikamaru shot him a 'really?' look. 'Yeah, because that will go down so well. _Hi, you don't know us, we're the brothers of the girl your son knocked up_. Yeah, they'll be thrilled.' He sighed. 'I'd rather tell them myself.'

'So, when?' Kankurou demanded.

Shikamaru shifty-eyed. 'Soon.'

'I think you should tell them tonight,' Kankurou informed him, 'Right here, in front of us.'

'What?' Shikamaru exclaimed, 'Can't I even prepare myself mentally?'

'Do you think your mom would... I don't know, help me?' Temari asked.

Shikamaru looked at her. 'Oh, I think you two will get on like a house on fire. You're really similar.'

'The poor baby, I'm going to be the only kind person in its life!' Secchan exclaimed.

Temari looked indignant. 'I am kind. I am so kind.'

Gaara and Kankurou exchanged a glance.

'I don't know, Secchan has a point,' Gaara said.

'Do you want to sleep on the pavement?' Temari asked him.

Gaara chuckled and shook his head.

'Hey, I turned out fine,' Shikamaru said.

'Yeah, except for the part where you go around impregnating poor, innocent girls,' Kankurou retorted.

'I am neither poor nor innocent,' Temari protested.

'As hard as it might be to believe, this is actually the first time I've found myself in this situation,' Shikamaru replied.

'You're telling your parents tonight. I want to watch you do it,' Kankurou told him.

'Looks like you might be here for a while, Shikamaru. Why don't you spend the night?' Secchan said brightly.

'Okay, I know I said I was going to try and ignore it, but that's just going a bit too far!' Kankurou said loudly.

'I agree, it is crossing the line a bit,' Gaara added.

Secchan rolled her eyes. 'Not with Temari. In my bed.'

There was dead silence as everyone stared at her.

'Not with me!' Secchan exclaimed, 'I'm not gonna be here tonight! Geez, what kind of a person do you think I am,' she muttered.

'Where are you going?' Temari asked, her brow furrowed.

'Out,' Secchan replied, as the doorbell rang. She grinned. 'Here's my carriage now. Come in!' She called, hopping up and heading to get her bag.

'Hey, ba- oh, hey,' Kiba said, stopping as he saw everyone seated around the table, looking at him. 'Hey, Shikamaru. Temari. What's up.'

'Kiba,' Shikamaru greeted.

'These are my brothers,' Temari introduced, a contemplative look coming over her face.

'I'm Gaara,' Gaara said, sizing Kiba up.

'Kankurou,' Kankurou said.

'Hey. Nice to meet you. I'm Kiba,' Kiba introduced.

'Yeah. You're that guy Temari mentioned,' Kankurou said, eyeing him speculatively.

'She has been going on fairly regular dates,' Gaara said.

'She has, hasn't she,' Temari agreed, her lips curving into a smile.

'It's been a while now, hasn't it,' Gaara said, also starting to smirk.

'Wow, it isn't awkward in here at all,' Secchan muttered, hurrying back into the room.

'Why are they all staring at me?' Kiba asked her out of the corner of his mouth.

'They're mentally unstable. Come on, let's go,' Secchan replied, moving towards the door, Kiba slowly starting to move after her.

'Hey, Secchan, your social life has calmed down a fair bit recently,' Temari said, nor fully grinning.

'Yeah, Kiba, you haven't been discussing your exploits with women quite as freely or often as you usually do,' Shikamaru added, looking between Kiba and Secchan.

'And we are going now,' Secchan said, grabbing Kiba's hand and pulling him towards him out the door, pushing him out before her.

'Is the disreputable Secchan Campbell finally being tamed?' Kankurou asked, grinning.

'You can all go to hell,' Secchan told them, flashing a tight grin and shutting the door behind her.

'She blushed, did you see that?' Temari exclaimed, turning to her brothers.

'It's unbelievable!' Kankurou grinned.

'Why didn't she tell me?' Temari wondered.

'It's Secchan. She wouldn't mention anything that wasn't normal,' Gaara pointed out.

'Is she actually having a normal relationship?' Kankurou asked no-one in particular.

'I think she hoped we wouldn't notice anything,' Temari said.

'From all accounts, this appears to be an entirely new ballgame for both Secchan and Kiba,' Shikamaru said.

'Oh, this is going to be fun,' Kankurou grinned.

'You realise she's going to pretend this never happened and that she has no idea what we're talking about?' Gaara pointed out.

'Completely. We just caught her off guard tonight,' Temari agreed.

'Oh, I can get her to crack,' Kankurou smirked.

Gaara, Temari and Shikamaru studied him for a minute, before nodding and voicing their assent.

'Oh, but don't think this means I've forgotten about you calling your parents,' Kankurou said suddenly, pointing at Shikamaru.

o0o0o

_Ring, ring._

'Hello?'

'Hey, mom...'

'Shikamaru! We haven't heard from you in ages! I was beginning to think you'd died or something.' There was a sound like the phone was removed from a person's ear.

'Shikaku! Get down here, your son's on the phone!' The yell was fainter than it would have been, but it wasn't exactly soft.

'Coming!' was the distant reply.

'Your dad says hi,' Shikamaru's mom said into the phone.

'No, he didn't. I can hear. But the sentiment is appreciated. Tell him hi from me,' Shikamaru smiled slightly.

'Shikamaru says hi,' Yoshino said on the other side of the line.

'Yeah, hi. Ask him who died.' Shikaku's voice said faintly.

'Why would I ask that?' Yoshino asked.

'Why else would he call? Does he need money?'

'I don't know. Shikaku, you're such a pessimist.'

'Shikamaru's like me, and you know how often I called my parents,' Shikaku said.

'Still on the phone,' Shikamaru muttered.

'Your father's being difficult,' Yoshino's voice came briskly through the phone again.

'Well, actually, I didn't call just to catch up, I actually... there is something I need to tell you,' Shikamaru said hurriedly, glancing at Kankurou, who was making 'hurry it up' gestures.

'Are you in jail?' Yoshino asked.

Shikamaru rolled his eyes. 'No, mom. I'm not in jail.'

'Well, that's something,' Yoshino said.

'Please, he doesn't live that wildly,' Shikaku's voice drifted through the receiver.

Shikamaru considered this, and inclined his head in acknowledgement.

'So what is it?' Yoshino asked.

'Oh. Um.' Shikamaru glanced at Temari. 'I'm dating someone, and... well, she's pregnant.' He winced in anticipation.

'I'm sorry, what?' Yoshino said, surprised.

'What did he say?' Shikaku asked faintly.

'Shikamaru's girlfriend is pregnant,' Yoshino relayed.

'Shikamaru has a girlfriend?'

'Really, Shikaku, that's all you got from that?' Yoshino asked her husband.

'So, yeah. Anyway, we were... well, we kinda... don't know what to do. Like. Preparation-wise,' Shikamaru said nervously.

'Would you like us to come down?' Yoshino asked.

'Oh, that's... that's not entirely necessary-' Shikamaru started.

'Don't be silly, we'll come as soon as we've made arrangements. I want to meet this girl,' Yoshino said briskly, 'Hold on- your father wants to talk to you.'

'Hey, Shikamaru,' Shikaku's gruff voice came over the line.

'Hey, dad,' Shikamaru said tiredly.

'So you're gonna be a dad too soon, huh?'

'Yeah.'

'Are you excited?'

'I think so,' Shikamaru said slowly, 'Haven't really thought about.'

'You should be terrified. You're going to be partly responsible for the life of another person,' Shikaku told him.

'Thanks, dad, I really needed that,' Shikamaru remarked dryly.

'You need that shock to set in. You need that terror. It's the only thing that going to be able to make you realise the responsibility and prepare for it,' Shikaku said matter-of-factly.

Shikamaru considered this. 'I never thought I'd say this, but I think I'm glad you and mom are coming.'

'Boy, it's our first grandchild. Of course we'll be there. And no force of nature can stop your mom. So, what's her name?' Shikaku asked.

'Oh, we don't know the gender yet.'

'Of your girlfriend, you idiot.'

'Oh. Temari. Y'know, I thought you and mom would be more... I don't know. Surprised? Angry? Something. I don't know.'

'Why would we be angry? At least you're dating the girl and it wasn't the product of some random hook-up.'

Shikamaru coughed. 'Yeah. That's something.'

'I look forward to meeting her.'

'Yeah, she's great. A lot like mom, actually.'

Shikaku laughed. 'Figures.'

'What figures?' Shikamaru asked suspiciously.

'Nothing. Nothing. I can't lie, this is a bit of a surprise, but... you know, I've almost come to expect surprises from you,' Shikaku said.

'I don't know if that's good or bad.'

'Take it as a good thing. I'll see you soon. Here's your mom.'

'Bye, dad.'

'Shikamaru, we should be there within a week or two, okay? I'll call you with exact details later,' Yoshino said.

'Okay, great. I guess I'll see you... whenever,' Shikamaru replied.

'Take care of her. Bye.'

'Bye, mom,' Shikamaru said, just before the phone was put down. He looked at the phone in his hand. 'That went a lot more smoothly than I was expecting.' He looked up at Temari. 'My parents are coming. Soon. Oh, and can we just leave out the fact that we only started dating after you fell pregnant?' he asked.

'Temari had the balls to tell us the truth,' Kankurou said.

'Yeah, actually, I'm pretty sure that if we were dating when she sent you guys that letter she wouldn't have told you the truth,' Shikamaru told him.

'Oh, yeah, no, definitely. It would have made life so much easier,' Temari instantly confirmed.

'Little lying slugs, aren't they?' Kankurou said to Gaara.

Gaara squinted at him. 'Sometimes I don't understand how your brain connects to your mouth. If it even does.'

Kankurou glowered at him.

'Hey, Kanky,' Temari said suddenly.

'Yes, Temari-biscuit?' Kankurou replied faux sweetly.

'Why did you suddenly change your tune and call this so-called meeting?' she asked.

'For the baby. I don't want my niece or nephew to be all messed up and not functioning properly because its parents don't know what they're doing,' Kankurou declared self-righteously.

'Wow. I didn't know you were so maternal, Kankurou,' Temari said.

'Maternal- that's like... mothering, right?' Kankurou asked.

'Yeah,' Gaara confirmed.

'Maybe you should be the mom,' Temari teased.

'Ha. Fuck off,' Kankurou said.

'Speaking of which, is there any chance of Shikamaru staying in my b-' Temari started.

'Not a fuck,' Gaara and Kankurou interrupted in unison.

'If he stays over, he stays in Secchan's room,' Gaara said.

'Or even better, in the lounge, where we can keep an eye on him,' Kankurou added.

'It's my place!'

'I don't care!'

'You guys suck.'

-tbc-

**A/N: See? I told you the next update would be soon. =) Less than 24 hours, even. Okay, only just less, BUT STILL. So I got some reviews from some familiar names and I was just like, 'At least I haven't alienated EVERYONE from the story!' **

**Also, I have come to the realisation that I say totally a helluva lot. And awesome. You can blame Darren Criss for that. Remember him? Yeah, I totally just watched the promo clip for next week's Glee episode- which is the first episode he's in- and he was singing (okay so it wasn't even a solo and it was for like 3 seconds but still) and I just completely spazzed out with happiness and watched that part about 7 times and in it Kurt's like 'well hay thar' and I was like 'I KNOW RIGHT.' That wasn't related to ANYTHING in this chapter, I'm sorry. **

**But seriously. Darren Criss is amazing.**

**ANYWAY. Hope you enjoyed it, and I would love it if you reviewed.**

**Oh, also: I think the story's going to be moving quite fast from here on in, because I think it's the filler chapters that kill my vibe because I don't know what to write. So I don't think I'm going to be doing many filler chapter simply to show the passing of time, if ya know what I mean.**

**Please review!**


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

_**A Week Later**_

'Okay, just remember, my mom is quite asserting and doesn't like to be proved wrong, so just go with whatever she says,' Shikamaru said hurriedly to Temari, as the intercom announced that the flight his parents were on had just landed.

'I'll be okay, Shikamaru, I've met people before,' Temari laughed. 'And stop ragging on your mom, you make her sound utterly terrifying.'

Shikamaru gave her a dead-pan look. 'She is.'

Temari chuckled. 'I think you're exaggerating. She can't be that bad.'

'Yes, she can,' Shikamaru replied.

'Calm down. It'll be fine. I'm sure we'll get on like a house on fire,' Temari assured him with a smile.

'Yeah, that's what I'm afraid of,' Shikamaru muttered.

'Sorry?' Temari asked, not having heard what he'd said.

'Nothing,' he answered innocently.

They stood in silence for a few seconds before Shikamaru turned to Temari again. 'Y'know, you don't have to be here. I'll completely understand if you want to just… go home, and do the whole meeting the folks thing later, it's fine. You can even take my car, we'll get a taxi, it's really completely okay,' he said.

'Shikamaru. You got through meeting my brothers. I'm pretty sure I'll be okay,' Temari said dryly. 'Besides, I'm actually kinda looking forward to meeting them.'

Shikamaru groaned. 'Yeah, I'm not.'

Temari's brow creased. 'Why don't you want me to meet them? Are you ashamed of me? Do you think they'll think I'm not good enough?' she asked, half-joking.

Shikamaru gave a humourless snort of laughter. 'That's not the problem. They'll love you.'

'So then what is the problem?' Temari asked, one eyebrow raised.

'I'm afraid they'll scare you away,' Shikamaru told her with a wry grin.

Temari laughed. 'Sweetheart, have you met my family? I'm pretty I'll be able to manage your parents,' she told him.

Shikamaru smiled reluctantly. 'My parents inspire irrational fear in me. I'm sorry.'

Temari grinned. 'You didn't read the letter I sent my brothers. Family really is one of the most terrifying things in the world. It'll be fine,' she assured him again, then leaned in and gave him a quick kiss.

'Shikamaru!' came a call.

The two separated and whipped around to look at the person who called.

A friendly looking brown haired woman with grey temples approached them with a smile, shortly followed by a man who looked almost exactly like Shikamaru.

'Hey, mom,' Shikamaru said, a slightly fixed, embarrassed smile on his face. He nodded at the man. 'Dad.'

'Is that really any way to greet your parents?' Yoshino asked, rolling her eyes. 'He's utterly useless,' she said as an aside to Temari, before leaning in and hugging her son.

'Oh yeah, mom, dad, this is Temari. Temari, these are my parents,' Shikamaru introduced after he'd extricated himself from his mother's quick embrace.

'It's a pleasure to meet you,' Temari smiled genially.

'The pleasure is all ours, I'm sure,' Shikaku smiled back at her, reaching out to shake her hand, his large, warm, calloused hand enveloping her smaller ones.

'I'm Yoshino,' Shikamaru's mother said, hugging Temari in much the same manner she had Shikamaru. 'That there charming man is my husband, Shikaku,' she laughed, gesturing towards the man hugging Shikamaru.

Yoshino then stood back at arms length and surveyed Temari. 'Oh, I'm going to have such a beautiful grandchild,' she declared.

Temari let out a little laugh of surprise. 'Thank you.'

Yoshino shook her head slightly. 'Nonsense. Simply stating a fact.' Yoshino's eyes fell on Temari's visible baby bump and frowned a little. 'How far along are you?'

'Uh… four or five months? Somewhere around there,' Temari replied.

'Four or five months?' Yoshino repeated, her eyebrows raised. She turned her head and gave Shikamaru a pointed look, which he squirmed a little under. 'Tell me, Shikamaru, why was I only informed about this last week?'

Shikaku clapped a hand on Shikamaru's shoulder as Shikamaru chewed on his lip and avoided his mother's gaze.

'Well, I mean, we only found out about two or so months in,' Temari said hurriedly.

Yoshino smiled at her. 'Of course. But that still gives him two or three months in which to drag his feet.' Yoshino turned to face Shikamaru again. 'What did you think I was going to do, boy? Smack your bottom and send you to your room without any dinner? You're a grown man, Shikamaru, and entirely responsible for your own actions.'

Shikamaru had the grace to look sheepish.

'Besides, you two are obviously in love, so I'm sure you'll be fine.' Yoshino said briskly. 'Where'd you park, Shikamaru?'

'Um. Fourth floor of the parking garage,' Shikamaru replied, putting his keys into his mother's outstretched, expectant hand.

'I don't know what you were so afraid of, I think she's great. Not at all scary,' Temari told Shikamaru softly as Yoshino headed towards the exit.

'How does she do that?' Shikamaru wondered.

Shikaku's deep chuckle drew their attention as he drew level with Shikamaru with the luggage trolley.

'It's a skill she's always had, son. Don't try to figure it out. She only pulls out that side on us,' Shikaku said.

'And Chouza and Inoichi,' Shikamaru pointed out.

Shikaku chuckled again. 'Only when they're drunk and unruly.'

'It's not fair,' Shikamaru muttered.

'And do you really think that she hasn't noticed the slight time discrepancies?' Shikaku asked with a wry smile.

Shikamaru's eyes went wide. 'What are you talking about? I don't know what you're talking about.'

Shikaku laughed. 'Sure you do. The fact that you didn't have a girlfriend when we called on your birthday little over a month ago, and now she's five months pregnant?'

'How do you know I didn't have a girlfriend on my birthday?' Shikamaru countered.

'I asked you?' Shikaku chuckled.

'You did?' Shikamaru said.

Shikaku shrugged. 'Well, not in so many words, but I certainly got the idea that you didn't.'

'Dammit,' Shikamaru muttered. 'How long do you think it'll be before she figures it out?' he asked, resignedly.

Shikaku roared with laughter. 'Boy, you're really underestimating your mother. She clicked as soon as Temari told her how far along she was. Maybe even when you told us you were expecting,' he told his son, still chuckling.

Shikamaru turned startled eyes on his father. 'Then why hasn't she said anything about it?'

'You mother's not an unreasonable person, Shikamaru. As she said, you kids are clearly in love, so what happened before really isn't any of our business,' Shikaku said mildly.

'I hate having smart parents,' Shikamaru muttered as they came to the parking pay point and he dug out his wallet.

'Good thing she heard about the kid from you, though,' Shikaku said.

Shikamaru's brow creased. 'Who else would she have heard it from?'

'Well, for instance, I knew about two and a half months ago,' Shikaku grinned.

Both Temari and Shikamaru stared at him. 'How?' they chorused.

'Chouza. Chouji had told him- because he's one that actually keeps in contact with his old man,' Shikaku added as a slight dig.

'Why didn't you tell her?' Shikamaru asked, paying for the ticket.

Shikaku shook his head, chuckling. 'I'm not about to put you in the firing line. Your old man isn't completely whipped, you know.'

'Could've fooled me,' Shikamaru shot back.

Shikaku laughed. 'Don't tell her I said that.' Shikaku shrugged, smiling. 'Besides, I figured you'd tell het when you're ready.'

'But that means you know the whole story,' Temari said slowly.

Shikaku gave a knowing nod. Shikamaru shook his head as he took the parking ticket.

'So you knew the entire time you were on the phone with me. That whole _at least you're dating her_ thing. You were fucking winding me up. The entire time,' Shikamaru said, disgruntled.

Shikaku grinned. 'Thought that'd get a reaction from you. When you didn't say anything, I figured you weren't planning to.'

'You old bastard,' Shikamaru replied, his mouth twitching into a smile nonetheless.

'Quite a foul mouth you've developed there. You might want to tone that down around your mother. She won't take too kindly to it,' Shikaku warned him mildly.

'Dad, I'm not stupid,' Shikamaru as the elevator doors closed on them.

'Could've fooled me,' Shikaku rejoined.

Temari giggled. 'I like you,' she told Shikaku.

'I think you're perfectly lovely too, my dear,' Shikaku replied.

'You're just a stinking smartass old man,' Shikamaru grumbled, smiling slightly.

'Took you three long enough,' Yoshino said, waiting as she was by the car, parked right in front of the elevator as it's doors slid open.

'So, Temari, have you any family in town?' Yoshino asked once they were all comfortably ensconced in the car.

'Well, my parents are both dead, and my brother's flew up when I told them I was pregnant, but none that live here. Well, my flatmate- Secchan- we've known each other forever. She's like my sister,' Temari replied.

'You have brothers?' Yoshino said.

'Yeah, two younger ones. Who act as if they're older and have the right to protect me. Idiots,' Temari said fondly.

'That's nice. That your child will have uncles. Always a nice thing,' Yoshino smiled, her eyes turning soft. 'But I'd love to meet your brothers. We should have dinner,' she announced.

'Oh I don't know if they're quite civilized enough for that,' Temari replied, surprised, eliciting a chuckle from the other occupants of the car.

'Don't worry about it. Neither of my boys are, most of the time,' Yoshino replied.

'We're perfectly civilized, don't listen to her,' Shikaku reassured Temari.

Temari laughed. 'All I have to go on is Shikamaru, and he seems fine to me,' she said.

'Well of course, he was in public and trying to impress you,' Yoshino replied, 'He's really quite a useless slob.'

'Mom!' Shikamaru protested.

'Yes, dear?' she replied innocently.

'Never mind,' Shikamaru sighed.

-tbc-

**A/N: And this is why I don't write with a friend over because she is currently begging me to make Shikamaru pee on Temari WHICH IS NOT HAPPENING. Simply because she wants a conversation to go: 'Shikamaru peed on me.' 'Peed on your hopes, peed on your dreams…' 'No, he actually peed on me.'**

**WHO COMES UP WITH SHIT LIKE THAT! **

**And this chapter ended because it ground to a halt like rawr and was one of those chapters that just knew where it was going to end. **

**Thank you for reading, hope you enjoyed it, I would love to hear what you thought.**

**Now she's made the windshield pee on someone (Joey Richter, actually, which is also entirely her doing) in our crack fic. Which is called Milking Petunia. And is, quote unquote, The crackiest crack fic in all of crackdom. It was described as such by an outside objective party. Who used to joust with lunchboxes with the person who wanted to have someone be peed on. **

**ANYWAY. **


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 14**

'Why do _we _have to meet the parents?' Kankurou complained.

'Shikamaru's parents want to meet you,' Temari replied, 'Yoshino said something about you guys almost being family.'

Kankurou narrowed his eyes suspiciously. 'Are you guys not telling us something?'

'What? No! No,' Temari repeated. 'Shikamaru reacted the same way, all suspicious like. Yeah, no, Yoshino said, blood through the baby. We're practically related already.' Temari shot them a winning grin.

Kankurou considered this. 'Yeah, that does make sense. But I still don't know why we have to meet the parents.'

'Oh please, lighten up. It's not like you have to make a good impression or anything,' Temari snorted.

'Oh yes we do,' Gaara piped up. 'It's not like we want you to make a bad impression, and we're your brothers, therefore how we behave reflects on you.'

Temari blinked. 'I never thought of that. Okay, you guys are to be on your best behavior,' she instructed.

'Again, why-' Kankurou started.

'Get over it, Kankurou. We're going to have to meet them eventually, and tonight's as good a time as any,' Gaara interrupted, sliding on his jacket.

'Yeah, why are you so against it, anyway?' Temari queried.

Kankurou sighed. 'I _hate _ties,' he complained.

Temari laughed and crossed the room and took the offending piece of clothing from him, tossing it around his neck and doing it up.

'You've gotten tall, little brother,' she commented.

'Yeah, and you've gotten fat. Oh how the times do change,' Kankurou replied, and choked when Temari pulled the tie tighter than strictly necessary.

'I'm pregnant, you fucktard,' she told him, and left him to loosen the tie so he could breath, and fold his collar over it.

'Ooh, don't you all look smart. Very dapper, boys, I'm impressed,' Secchan remarked, crossing through the living room. 'Looking forward to meeting the folks?'

'Why aren't you coming with? You're practically family,' Kankurou asked, jerking his head towards her.

Secchan laughed. 'As unbelievably fun as that sounds-'

'She's got a dog to put through obedience school,' Temari finished, waggling her eyebrows at Secchan.

Secchan smirked. 'Sweetheart, he's flying through that with A's,' she remarked drily.

'Is this the dude from the other night?' Kankurou asked.

'May be,' Secchan replied with a smirk, and then rolled her eyes at the concerned looks the two boys were giving her. 'Don't get all big brother on me, I'll be fine.'

'It's just that you've never really actually gotten into a rela-' Gaara started.

'I'll be fine,' Secchan repeated. 'I'm not naïve. So I'm going to go now, have fun at the posh restaurant. See you later. And stop looking at me like that, I know what I'm doing,' she added, grinning and closing the door behind her.

'I don't know if she does, though,' Gaara muttered.

'Ah, leave it. She'll be fine,' Temari dismissed their worries, doing one last check to see she had everything she needed.

'She's your best friend, why aren't you more worried?' Kankurou asked her.

Temari looked up, surprised. 'Because Secchan's not stupid. And I know how careful she is about getting emotionally attached to anything. Yeah, this is new for her, and I reckon it must be something, because she's ridiculously careful about these kinda things- to the point of being phobic.'

'I suppose she would know her better than anyone,' Kankurou said to Gaara.

'And what she's saying does ring true,' Gaara conceded.

'You guys worry too much,' Temari told them, 'Now, come on, we got to go. Move. Move move move,' she shooed, herding them towards the door.

o0o0o

'So, these are my brothers. Gaara, Kankurou, this is Yoshino and Shikaku,' Temari introduced, as they seated themselves.

'It's a pleasure,' Yoshino told them with a smile.

'Lovely to meet you too, ma'am,' Gaara greeted smoothly, taking Yoshino's hand.

'Have we met before?' Shikaku asked Kankurou, surveying him with narrowed eyes. Kankurou looked slightly frozen.

'No. No, I don't think so. Pretty sure we haven't, actually,' Kankurou said hurriedly. 'Why would you think we had?'

'I don't know, you just look familiar,' Shikaku said thoughtfully.

'I get that a lot, I have quite a generic face apparently,' Kankurou explained with a nervous smile. Temari shot him a slightly confused glance. Gaara simply smirked slightly.

'Temari says you two are from out of town. I suppose you wanted to be with your sister while she was pregnant,' Yoshino said, smiling sweetly.

Kankurou and Gaara exchanged a glance.

'Yes. Temari's our only family. We would've moved here when she did originally, but we had business down there,' Gaara explained.

'Oh, what business are you in?' Yoshino asked.

'Oh, boring stuff, really,' Kankurou blustered.

'Let's not talk work at the table,' Gaara glossed it over. 'We also came up here because we _really _wanted to… meet Shikamaru.' Shikamaru muffled a snort.

'Yeah, Temari had told us _so _much about him, he almost felt like a brother. We just felt it was high time to meet him, and the pregnancy gave us a perfect excuse,' Kankurou said innocently, admirably ensuring only his eye twitched when Temari kicked his ankle.

'Temari obviously keeps in contact with her family more than Shikamaru, then,' Shikaku said airily, his eyes twinkling.

'Well, dad, I was a little distracted. And you always know what's going on in my life anyway,' Shikamaru returned.

'Albeit a few months later,' Yoshino gently prodded. 'So is your sister's the first baby in the family?' she asked, directing her question at Kankurou and Gaara.

'Oh yeah, by a long shot,' Kankurou replied.

'Neither of us are quite ready to settle down,' Gaara added.

'Well, then this will be great practice for when you are,' Shikaku told them.

'Ha. Yeah,' Kankurou trailed off, looking slightly disconcerted.

'So, have you two thought of any names yet?' Yoshino asked Shikamaru and Temari.

'I told you, mom, we don't know the gender yet,' Shikamaru replied.

'I've been putting it off,' Temari explained slightly apologetically.

'That doesn't stop you from brainstorming names. You can pick and choose, make a shortlist. One for if it's a girl, one for if it's a boy,' Yoshino pointed out.

'Give your suggestions, son, but just be aware that the mother makes the final choice,' Shikaku teased.

'Well, that's not necessarily true,' Temari began.

'Do you really want him to have the final choice?' Yoshino pointed out.

Temari considered the idea. 'Not really. I'll have to see what his suggestions are, first,' Temari decided.

'Wise choice,' Yoshino smiled.

'Is that really fair?' Shikamaru wondered, 'Shouldn't it be down to a unanimous vote?'

'They play the _I carried it for nine months _card,' Shikaku informed his son.

'It seems a lot more fair when you put it like that,' Shikamaru said.

'Can we also give ideas?' Kankurou asked.

'Anyone can give suggestions, I just think I'll be in charge of making the final decision,' Temari declared.

'You don't want his suggestions,' Gaara told his sister.

'Yeah, I'm kind of intending to confine them to the _no way in hell_ compartment before he opens his mouth,' Temari confided.

'That is rude. I take offense to that,' Kankurou told his siblings.

'I'm not being rude, I'm simply being honest,' Temari replied.

'Just stating facts, bro,' Gaara added, reaching for some water.

'And even if that weren't the case, I'm allowed to be rude to you, I'm your sister,' Temari finished.

'How is that fair, when I can't say anything rude about you?' Kankurou demanded.

'I'm older than you. And you called me fat, so that kinda gives me a free card,' Temari told him flippantly. Shikamaru smothered a laugh. His father didn't bother to hide his chuckle.

'She's got you by the balls there,' he said sympathetically.

'I didn't mean it like that,' Kankurou defended himself, 'I mean, I know she can't help it.'

'So I can't help getting fat?' Temari asked archly.

'I suggest you stop talking, for your own good,' Shikaku told Kankurou in a low voice, throwing him a wink.

'Or at least change the subject,' Gaara put in mildly.

'Okay, no. Temari, you're not getting fat. You're looking larger do not say anything until I finish my sentence-' Kankurou said in a rush as Temari opened her mouth indignantly, '-but that's because the baby is inside you and is growing and getting bigger and fatter. It's totally not your fault,' he finished.

Temari narrowed her eyes at him, contemplating what he'd just said. She looked at Yoshino. 'What do you think? Should I let him go with that one?'

Yoshino thought about it for a few seconds. 'Yes, I think so. I think he managed to redeem himself with that speech.'

'I think so too,' Temari agreed, then turned to Kankurou. 'Okay. I forgive you. For now.'

'Might I suggest not indirectly calling the baby fat either?' Yoshino said with a smile.

'But babies are meant to fat!' Kankurou exclaimed. 'Well, obviously not overly fat, like unhealthy fat, but that kind of baby roly poly fat. I mean, baby babies- not the older babies- should be all chubby and round and cute,' he explained, with vague hand gestures.

'Are you sure you weren't born a girl?' Gaara asked him.

Kankurou looked miffed, to say the least. 'I hate you,' he told his brother, then looked at Yoshino and Shikaku. 'You see what I have to deal with? I am constantly belittled by these two. All the time.'

Yoshino gave him a sympathetic, vaguely amused smile. 'I'm guessing you're the middle child?'

'Yeah. How'd you guess?' Kankurou asked, surprised.

'It's generally accepted that the middle child has a tougher time of it,' Yoshino explained.

Kankurou sighed. '_So _not fair.'

o0o0o

'It was great meeting you,' Kankurou said to Yoshino and Shikaku after the meal.

'Likewise,' Shikaku replied, as Yoshino gave a slightly surprised Kankurou a hug.

'The baby will be lucky to have you two as uncles,' she said, giving a just as surprised but hiding it a lot better Gaara a hug.

'And to have you as grandparents,' Gaara said gallantly.

'And what about us as parents?' Temari asked jokingly.

Yoshino laughed.

'That goes without saying, my dear,' Shikaku told her, smiling.

'Well, I hope to see you soon,' Temari smiled at Shikamaru's parents.

'No question about it. Look, here's my number. If you are feeling scared or anything, or just want advice or if you want to ask anything, or even just want to talk, please feel free to give me a call,' Yoshino said, scribbling down her number on a piece of paper and handing it to Temari with a smile.

'Oh wow, thank you. I think you might very well be hearing from me,' Temari laughed.

_Are you just saying that, or do you really mean it?_

_Yeah, I'm pretty sure you felt those slight moments of absolute panic whenever the conversation turned to babies._

_I was hoping to ignore those. Panic is nowhere near as fun as some other things I could mention._

_Believe me, it's at the bottom of my bucket list too, but I can't help them._

_Well. I can think of other ways to distract you from-_

_You know what, you shut up now. You're a terrible influence._

_You're rude._

_So are you._

'Well, goodnight,' Yoshino greeted the Sabaku's.

'Bye,' Kankurou said.

'Until next time,' Gaara said with a smile.

'Are you sure we haven't met?' Shikaku asked Kankurou.

'What? Oh yeah, very much so. You cut a distinguished figure I'm sure I would've remembered,' Kankurou laughed nervously.

Gaara chewed on his lip to disguise a chuckle and Temari blinked in slight confusion at Kankurou's choice of words.

'Shikamaru, we're going to the car,' Yoshino said, laying her hand on her sons arm.

'Yeah, okay, here are the keys,' Shikamaru said, handing them over. 'I'll be right there.'

'Bye!' Temari called, and Shikaku and Yoshino turned to give a smile and a wave before the faded into the darkness.

'Well, that went surprisingly well,' Shikamaru said, a satisfied smile on his face.

'Dude, why didn't you say your dad was a cop?' Kankurou demanded of Shikamaru at a discreet volume.

'He's practically retired, I didn't see any relevance- I don't remember that coming up- how do you know he's a cop?' Shikamaru asked confused.

Kankurou rolled his eyes impatiently. 'Okay, so he may have arrested me once or twice,' he explained.

'Arrested you?' Temari exclaimed.

'Shht, keep it down, I'd rather not have him remember,' Kankurou hissed.

'Why did you get arrested?' Temari demanded, at a lower volume.

Kankurou looked at her in exasperation. 'Why do you think I got arrested?'

There was silence as Temari continued to stare at him suspiciously through narrowed eyes and Shikamaru looked as though fantastical scenarios were running through his head.

'Being drunk and disorderly,' Gaara supplied the answer when the silence got awkward.

'Well, and I got into that fight- even though that was completely the other guy's fault,' Kankurou defended. Gaara bowed his head in acquiescence.

'Okay, not so bad then,' Temari sighed, relieved.

'He was in jail,' Gaara supplied helpfully.

'Overnight!' Kankurou exclaimed. 'It hardly counts.'

Gaara shrugged.

'What, you weren't partying as hard as him?' Shikamaru asked Gaara teasingly.

'I don't get drunk and disorderly,' Gaara said, 'Just drunk.'

'Well, I'm just glad that it was only little things,' Temari muttered.

'I'm never drunk enough to get collared on the big things,' Kankurou said.

Temari squeezed her eyes shut. 'I don't want to know.'

Kankurou shrugged. 'Okay. Hey, Nara, dude, Shikamaru, do you think you could maybe not mention to your dad that he, y'know, arrested me?'

'I promise not to give him any help, but I can't promise he won't figure it out on his own. My old man's sharp for his age. And he did recognize you,' Shikamaru pointed out.

Kankurou winced. 'Yeah, I might have made an impression. But he'll be chilled with it, you think?' he asked anxiously.

Shikamaru shrugged. 'I couldn't say. I don't think he'll make too much of a fuss, though.'

'Yeah, Shikamaru's dad is cool,' Temari said.

'Awesome.' Kankurou nodded.

'Well, I gotta go. I'll see you soon,' Shikamaru said to Temari, leaning in and giving her a chaste kiss on the cheek- as the brothers still objected to any PDA in front of them. He gave a lopsided grin. 'This family appears to be gelling nicely already. Cheers!' He turned and hurried off.

'Did he just call us a family?' Kankurou said.

Temari was staring off into the distance. 'I quite like that term,' she said airily, before turning and wandering off in the direction of the car.

Gaara and Kankurou shared a glance.

'Do you think there's something they're not telling us?' Kankurou asked Gaara dubiously.

Gaara shrugged. 'Not really. I think they're just having their own separate thoughts, possibly on the subject,' he replied.

Kankurou stared. 'Yeah, that made no sense,' he declared.

'I mean it's entirely possible they don't even realize the ramifications of what they're saying,' Gaara conceded.

'And you're just not going to explain… okay…' Kankurou said, lifting his hands to show defeat coupled with assent.

The two brothers looked off to where they knew their sister was.

'But if it does come to that…' Kankurou said slowly.

Kankurou and Gaara looked at each other challengingly. They had just opened their mouths and raised their hands when a call rang out.

'Are you two coming or not? Because I'm giving you about two minutes, and then you're walking home!' Temari's voice declared.

'We'll sort this out later,' Kankurou told Gaara, as they started moving towards the car.

'It probably won't even be up to us,' Gaara said.

'I know, but I still want to win, even if there's a slight possibility it's left up to us,' Kankurou replied.

'Ten… nine… eight… seven…' Temari counted down.

'Hold up, don't get your panties in a knot,' Kankurou said as they climbed in the car.

'Took you long enough,' Temari mumbled, starting the engine.

_Family, huh? Sounds good._

o0o0o

'Rock… Paper… Scissors…'

'I win!'

'What is that?'

'Dynamite. It totally owns everything.'

'Kankurou…'

'You're going to say it doesn't count, aren't you?'

'It doesn't. You cheated.'

'Fine! Again, then.'

'No cheating this time.'

'Shut up. Rock… Paper… Scissors… Dammit! Okay, best out of three…'

o0o0o

**A/N: I am so freakin' tired. So tired I'm writing this A/N the morning after I wrote it. Because I was DETERMINED to get my NaNo word count up to a certain place before I went to sleep last night. I know I've got my little computer icon telling me sleep is overrated, but it is so not. I love my sleep.**

**ANYWAY. Darren Criss' first episode of glee. Has happened. Now I just need to download it. Which I'm amped for. **

**Okay, so, this chapter. I don't know. Oh, as a warning for this chapter and future chapters: some may not be beautifully crafted and written, and may have superfluous stuff in that's like 'why is that so long it's pointless', but okay. So I'm doing freewriting for NaNoWriMo? NaNoWriMo= National Novel Writing Month= A whole pile of people going 'Let's write 50 000 words in one month!'. Which is why there's writing coming from my side. I am currently sitting at about 11k, almost 12k. So I'm behind. And so, because NaNo is about quantity not quality, some may be blatant word padding. That's is why there isn't that much untagged dialogue, and also why names are mentioned a lot, and… well, I'm sure you can spot it.**

**HOWEVER. I hope that it doesn't detract from the story too much, and I hope you enjoy it, as I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and I would LOVE to know what you think.**

**Also, as an aside: if I published a book, who of you would give it a try and check it out?**

**In other news, my toenails look pretty. **


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

'Temari, who do you prefer more, me or Gaara?' Kankurou asked a couple days later.

Temari shot him a confused look. 'What kind of a stupid question is that, Kanky?'

'It's me, right?' Kankurou said smugly.

'No,' Temari replied, still confused.

Kankurou's jaw dropped. 'Whaddaya mean no?' he cried. 'You prefer Gaara?'

'No,' Temari replied again. 'Brothers. You guys are on equal level of favouratism. Generally. When you're not being an idiot. Or getting shot.'

Kankurou eyed her suspiciously. 'So… we're both your favourites?' he asked.

Temari stared at him incredulously. 'Yes. What the hell brought this on?'

Kankurou shifty-eyed. 'No reason.'

Temari raised an eyebrow. 'Kankurou, you never have no reason.'

'I-' Kankurou started to protest then stopped, his brow furrowed. 'If I argue that, I feel like I'll somehow be insulting myself,' he said.

Temari blinked. 'I actually don't know if I meant that as a –oh my god,' she cut her self off, her eyes widening. She promptly sat down, her hand going to her stomach.

'What?' Kankurou demanded, immediately concerned, rushing to her side. 'What is it? Is it the baby? Are you giving birth?'

Temari shot him a dead-pan look. 'No. I'm not giving birth. I've, like, _just _passed the halfway mark of the pregnancy.'

'Aren't you, like, about to start your third trimester?' Kankurou replied, looking slightly confused.

'Same thing, whatever,' Temari sighed, then started. 'Ooh, there it is again!'

'There is what again? What's going on?' Kankurou demanded.

Temari smiled at him, her hand on her stomach. 'It's kicking,' she told him in wonder.

Kankurou blinked. 'Does that… hurt?' he asked cautiously.

Temari shook her head. 'No. Here, you see if you can feel,' she said, grabbing his hand and placing on her stomach.

'This is kinda- I felt it!' Kankurou exclaimed, staring at her stomach in excitement. 'I felt it move!'

_Oh my god what was that? Oh my god something moved!_

_Just woke up now, did you?_

_Oh my god there's something moving inside of us, oh my god, it's an alien, it's like that movie, the alien's got inside us and it's crawling around under our skin and it's going to bubble up and move under the skin and then we're going to die I can't believe this happened I'm too young to die how did the alien get inside us oh my god oh my god-_

_DUDE! CHILL! It's just the baby._

…_the baby._

_Yes. The baby._

_No alien?_

_No, no alien._

_You sure?_

_Yeah. Pretty sure._

…_oh._

'That's so cool, I can feel it kicking, it's alive, it's like a little person inside you, kicking…' Kankurou was prattling excitedly.

'Whoa, mama bird, chill,' Temari laughed, 'Pass me my phone will you?' she asked.

'What did you just call me?' Kankurou asked indignantly.

Temari waved her hand dismissively. 'Doesn't matter, pass me the phone.'

'You just called me mama bird. Why would you do that. Why do I have the worst siblings ever?' Kankurou asked no-one in particular.

'Kankurou,' Temari said, trying to get his attention. She held out her hand expectantly when he looked at her with an expression that clearly questioned her right to ask him to do anything, or to even speak to him. 'Phone,' she prompted him, when he didn't take the hint.

Kankurou sighed heavily and passed Temari's phone over. She beamed at him.

'Thank you, sweetheart,' she said brightly. Kankurou rolled his eyes.

o0o0o

To: **Shikamaru**

_The baby's kicking =)_

o0o0o

'Shikamaru, Temari sent you a message,' Shikaku called from the lounge to his son, who was doing the dishes as his mother told him to.

'What did she say?' he replied, knowing his father had probably already read the message.

'The baby's coming,' Shikaku relayed.

There was a splash and a clatter as Shikamaru jumped in surprise. 'WHAT?' he yelped in fright, his eyes wide in terror.

'Well, that can't be right,' Yoshino muttered, her brows drawn together in confusion, pausing in packing away some dishes.

There was a mischievous snigger in the next room. 'My mistake,' Shikaku called cheerfully, 'Kicking.'

Shikamaru pressed a hand to his chest, trying to slow his heart, which was working overtime. Yoshino simply rolled her eyes, an idyllic smile growing on her face.

'I hate you, dad,' Shikamaru told his father, marching into the lounge.

His father grinned at him as he snatched the phone. 'Hey, my eyes aren't what they used to be,' he replied innocently.

Shikamaru checked the message himself, and then it sunk in. 'It kicked!' he exclaimed. 'It's kicking!' he told his parents excitedly, looking eagerly from his mother to his father and back again.

'Oh, I loved that moment,' Yoshino sighed, a faraway look in her eyes.

'I gotta get over there,' Shikamaru said to himself, 'I want to see her,' he told his parents.

'Of course,' Yoshino readily agreed. 'And we're coming with.'

'Okay. Now, though,' Shikamaru said, 'As in, I'm going to car right now and leaving in about two minutes whether you're in the car or not,' he explained.

'Well, aren't you a cheeky boy,' Yoshino remarked, arching an eyebrow at her son.

'My baby just kicked!' he exclaimed in way of explanation.

Yoshino laughed. 'I know. Come on, granddad, up you get,' she said to Shikaku fondly, holding out a hand to her husband. He chuckled, and pulled himself up, sighing.

'Thank you, my dear,' Shikaku told her, pecking her on the cheek.

'I don't mind if you two act as if you're eighty and arthritic, as long as you don't move like you're eighty and arthritic,' Shikamaru prompted them, making shooing motions towards the door.

'Was I this excited?' Shikaku murmured to Yoshino, as they made their way (briskly) out the door.

'More so,' she murmured in reply.

Shikaku chuckled and eyed their son, who had overtaken them in his haste to get to the car. 'Is that possible?' he joked.

Yoshino raised a single eyebrow and smirked at him.

Shikaku shook his head at the sight of his son sitting impatiently in the car. 'I've never seen him this excited. Or this energetic,' he remarked.

'The power of love,' Yoshino replied simply, giving her husband a chaste kiss, before climbing into the passenger seat.

o0o0o

'Did it really kick?' Shikamaru said immediately as Kankurou opened the door. Kankurou blinked at the sight of the three Nara's standing on the threshold.

'Yeah. Yeah, it was really cool,' Kankurou affirmed, stepping aside to let them in, nodding in greeting to Yoshino and Shikaku, Shikamaru already next to Temari, talking excitedly with her, wide grins on both their faces.

Kankurou groaned and made a face when Shikamaru pressed his lips hard to Temari's. 'I hate it when they do that in front of me,' he muttered.

'-I actually kinda really like this guy. Shocker, I kn-whoa.' Secchan stopped in her tracks as she walked in with Gaara, carrying take out packages. 'Where'd all the people come from?' she asked of thin air.

Yoshino smiled at the new arrivals. 'Hi, I'm Yoshino, Shikamaru's mother,' she introduced herself to Secchan. 'This is Shikaku, my husband.'

Secchan gave a still semi-surprised smile. 'Hi. I'm Secchan, um… Temari's roommate. Nice to meet you.'

'Yes, she told us about you,' Yoshino said warmly.

'Only good things, I hope,' Secchan laughed.

Yoshino shrugged lightly. 'Well, it was more in passing, really…' she explained.

'Yeah. Um, not that I mind or anything, but… why are you guys here?' Secchan asked, genially. 'I mean, I know why you're here, just not why you're… here. In… in the flat. What's going on?' She glanced over to Shikamaru and Temari and raised an eyebrow. 'And why is Shikamaru listening to Temari's tummy?'

'The baby kicked,' Kankurou informed them, shooting Temari and Shikamaru suspicious glances.

Secchan grinned. 'That's awesome.'

'Shikamaru's acting as if it's just taken its first step,' Shikaku chuckled.

'And you didn't?' Yoshino remarked. Shikaku shrugged.

'They're in their own world. Do you think they even remember we're here?' Gaara commented.

Everyone looked at Temari and Shikamaru, then shook their heads.

'Right,' Secchan said brightly, 'So who would like something to drink?'

o0o0o

'Hey, Temari, how ya doing?' Kiba greeted on Monday morning.

'Very well, thank you, Kiba. And you?' Temari returned.

'Fantastic,' he grinned. 'Hey, I heard the baby kicked on Saturday.'

Temari grinned. 'Yeah. It's kinda weird, but really cool.'

'Yeah, Shikamaru won't shut up about it,' Kiba laughed. 'Hey, can I feel?'

'Well, it doesn't kick all the time, so it might not kick,' Temari started.

Kiba waved a hand. 'Nonsense. Everyone loves me, I'm awesome. It'll kick,' he told her confidently, sitting on the side of her desk and putting his hand on her stomach.

_This isn't weird at all…_

_Oh, stop it, he's harmless._

Temari raised an eyebrow. 'I don't think kicking is generally thought to be a sign of affection,' she commented.

'Whatever,' Kiba commented. 'Whereabouts does it normally kick, now?' he asked.

'Little bit over here,' she told him, guiding his hand.

'Awesome. Hey, munchkin,' he said to her belly, 'Uncle Kiba here. Give us a kick, then.'

…_okay, what the hell, I was not expecting it to actually kick_.

_Well, he is quite charming…_

'It's alive!' Kiba crowed, falling to his knees and shaking his arms at the heavens, doing a wonderful impression of a mad scientist.

Temari raised an eyebrow.

_You were saying?_

…_yeah, okay, I'll admit, that was a little weird…_

_Just a little?_

_Okay, so he may be crazier than you._

_Hey, I resent that!_

…_you want to be crazier than him?_

_What? No, I was… I was more… that you called me crazy in the first place…_

Kiba noticed Temari looking at him weirdly, and dropped his arms. 'Seriously? No one's done that yet?' he asked, and incredulously.

'No,' Temari replied, still eyeing him oddly. 'No, Kiba, I have to admit you're the first one to act as if my baby is Frankenstein's monster.'

Kiba shook his head as he couldn't believe. 'It's the most obvious reaction!' he exclaimed, getting up off the floor.

'To you maybe,' Temari replied. 'Why is Secchan dating you?' she asked.

Kiba flashed her a grin. 'I'm sexy,' he replied.

'That would be enough for her,' Temari muttered, shaking her head.

'No, but that's pretty cool. The baby thing, I mean,' Kiba added, leaning on the desk.

'Yeah, it is,' Temari agreed.

'So you don't know if it's a girl or a boy yet, huh?' Kiba commented.

Temari shook her head. 'I kind of want it to be a surprise, you know?' she said.

Kiba shrugged. 'Makes sense. Kinda feels right, too. I mean, the whole situation started out as a surprise, didn't it?' he grinned cheekily.

Temari grinned in reply. 'Never thought about it that way. But I guess you're right.'

'Guess you must like surprises,' Kiba remarked.

'The weirdest thing is, even though my surprises in the last few months have been ridiculous and life-changing, I actually kinda think you're right,' Temari told him.

Kiba laughed. 'Everything happens for a reason, they say. Just take it in your stride and smile, he declared. 'Anyway, I should get back to work.' He straightened up.

'Yeah, before Tenten comes along,' Temari teased.

'The fact that I only take my impromptu breaks when I know she's busy is a complete coincidence,' Kiba insisted, grinning.

'Uh-huh. See you, Kiba,' Temari laughed, getting a cheerful wave in reply.

… _you know what, taking his odd quirks into consideration and all, I actually do still think he's rather charming._

_Positively delightful. Always fun. And possibly crazy._

_I do adore him though. In a completely platonic way, of course._

_Oh, of course._

o0o0o

'Dad, can we talk?'

'Of course, Shikamaru. What's up?'

'Um, I found this in mom's bag.'

Laugh.

'I should have known she'd bring that along. You want it?'

'I think so.'

'It's yours. Your mom's a smart woman. Scary how she just knows things, though.'

'Mom is psychic, I swear on my life.'

'And yet, you still attempt to lie to her.'

'I do not lie. I simply omit details.'

'Do you ever actually believe that she doesn't notice?'

'No. But she plays along with it ever so well.'

'So.'

'So.'

'You're sure?'

'I think so. It just feels _right_, you know? Comfortable.'

'I think you're right. Granted, the order in which you've progressed isn't normal, but… I suppose you are very similar to me.'

'What do you mean by that?'

'Do you know what date your mother and I-'

'Mom was- that just explained why she wasn't as angry as I thought she'd be.'

'Although your mother and I were actually dating before-'

'Shut up, old man.'

-TBC-

**A/N: And then there was something I was going to say but I can't remember right at this second…. Oh well. I have no will power. I am AGAIN over 12k behind on Nano. Because I haven't written for a couple days. OH WELL. **

**And now I've forgotten everything else I wanted to say. **

**Just as an aside, because it's something that's on my mind, I finish school this year, okay? Well, I write my final exam for school ever (barring rewrites if there's a leak which I'm hoping there won't be) on Wednesday. In two days. ANYWAY. So I gotta decide what I'm going to do next year. I REALLY want to take a gap year and go au pair in America- although I can only go when I'm 18. so after April next year. which means I will come back half way through the next year, and the school year starts here in Jan/Feb which means it will technically be gap two years. SO I really want to do that. But it's just been confirmed that I have been accepted to the University of my choice for the course of my choice- BA Film and Media at UCT- which is pretty cool. But I'd rather go to America. But now I've been accepted. What would you do in my situation? =P **

**Anyway, hope you enjoyed the chapter, and I would love to know what you thought! Thanks for reading.**

**OH YEAH I remembered what I was going to say: I feel obligated to have longish chapters for you guys. As in, I feel kinda bad if my chapters are less than 2k in length. Just thought you should know =P**


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

'How much time do I have left?' Temari asked weakly, lying on the couch.

'How much time left until what?' Secchan remarked flippantly, paging through a magazine lazily. 'Until you're able to move around like a normal person again? Until you stop retaining enough water to hydrate a small city for a year? Until you have no chance of a good night's sleep? Until you have to suffer through unimaginable pain to expel a foreign body from your uterus? Until you can see your feet? Until you're bound to a wailing creature for goodness knows how long? ' Secchan looked up from the glossy publication and smiled winningly at Temari. 'I think the answer to all of the above is about two months.'

Temari craned her neck to glare at Secchan. 'You know exactly what to say to make me feel better, don't you?' she replied sarcastically.

Secchan shrugged. 'I try. And you didn't exactly specify. What were you referring too?' she asked sweetly.

Temari returned to staring at the ceiling. 'I was thinking more along the lines of how much time do I have before I float away into the great unknown,' she said grumpily, 'I feel like a hot air balloon.'

'You're about the size of one, but with your weight you're not going anywhere,' Kankurou remarked, a bowl of popcorn on his lap and a game controller on his hand, his eyes transfixed on the tv screen where his car was bouncing over mushrooms, chasing Gaara's car.

Temari glared at him. 'I hope you get shot in the ass,' she retorted.

'Already happened, actually,' Gaara remarked, focusing on the race onscreen.

'You got shot in the ass?' Secchan chuckled, looking up.

'Thanks, _bro_, I try not to talk about that,' Kankurou scowled.

'Well, in that case, I hope you get shot in the ass again,' Temari sniffed, 'with a bigger bullet.'

'It's called a higher caliber, and it's not going to happen again,' Kankurou replied.

'If you're going to be difficult about it, I'm just not going to cook for you again,' Temari said stubbornly.

'I hope your baby has colic,' Kankurou said, as his car fell off the edge.

'That's just mean,' Temari complained.

'How is it anymore mean than starving me and wanting lead lodged in my ass?'Kankurou demanded, looking at her.

'Kankurou,' Gaara said, as his brother's car reappeared and promptly headed towards the cliff again.

'Shit,' Kankurou swore and steered it back on the road.

'You suck at this game,' Secchan commented.

'I do not, I'm awesome at this game, Gaara's just cheating,' Kankurou replied.

'How am I cheating exactly?' Gaara demanded.

'I don't know,' Kankurou replied moodily, as Gaara won. He then leaned back and looked pitifully at Secchan. 'Secchan, what's for lunch?' he whined.

'I don't know. Hey, here's an idea, why don't you try your hand at making food for once? You've bloody well been here long enough,' she told him.

Gaara raised an eyebrow at her. 'Tell me, Secchan, what is the reason for your sudden desire to die of food poisoning?' he enquired.

'That bad?' Secchan asked.

'That bad,' Gaara confirmed. 'He hasn't been allowed in the kitchen since he tried to cook a potato in the microwave.'

'But you can cook potatoes in the microwave,' Secchan said.

'The potato caught on fire,' Gaara informed her dryly.

'How?' Secchan exclaimed.

Gaara shrugged.

'I can cook porridge. And rice,' Kankurou defended himself, 'And two-minute noodles!'

'No wonder you and Gaara live together. You would literally die of starvation or malnutrition otherwise,' Temari interjected.

'And you said I was mean,' Kankurou snapped back.

'That wasn't being mean. That was stating a fact,' Temari said matter-of-factly.

'Yeah, well, here's a fact: you're a fat cow,' Kankurou replied, and promptly got a pillow to the head. 'Okay, I lied! You're not a cow. Just fat.'

'I am seven months pregnant!' Temari exclaimed.

'Yeah, so it's kind of expected that you're fat, so don't get your knickers in a twist,' Kankurou pointed out.

'You really need to stop calling her fat,' Gaara told him. 'Haven't you learnt yet?'

'He's a slow learner,' Secchan commented, grinning when Kankurou flipped the bird at her.

'That would be me,' Temari commented as the doorbell rang, and began heaving herself into a sitting position.

'What, you're the slow learner?' Secchan asked, barely concealing her grin.

'No- you know what, fuck off and open the door, will you?' Temari sighed.

Secchan giggled and she hopped over to the door. 'Hey, Shikamaru. You might have to wait a while, Temari sat down,' she said, letting him in.

'You have absolutely no sympathy for my plight!' Temari cried loudly. 'Hey, babe. Come and help me up, will you? I live with a bunch of arseholes.'

'Now that's just uncalled for, I have done nothing to deserve your ire,' Gaara said indignantly.

'I don't see you jumping to my assistance either,' Temari pointed out.

Shikamaru chuckled. 'Hello to you too,' he said to no one in particular, as he walked over to the couch, holding out his hands for Temari to grab on to.

Kankurou and Gaara's voices overlapped in greetings.

'I expect you to have her back by nine,' Kankurou informed him, as Temari grabbed her bag off the counter.

'What, I have a curfew now? Not a fuck, especially considering you're basically a freeloader in my house,' Temari reminded him.

'It's a family prerogative,' Kankurou replied.

'I've actually been in discussions to see if Kankurou and I could relocate up here,' Gaara commented.

'Really? No way. How come? And why do I know nothing about this?' Temari demanded.

'I wasn't really going to say anything until it was officially a possibility, but it is looking like it could be,' Gaara said.

'And being up here made us realize how much we actually miss spending time with you, however cheesy that sounds,' Kankurou added.

'And then there's the baby. We do actually want to be in its life, and travelling is expensive,' Gaara finished.

Temari grinned. 'Aren't they just the sweetest?' she gushed to Shikamaru, who laughed.

'You called them arseholes about a minute ago,' he reminded her.

'Well, yeah, but they have their moments,' she smiled.

'You're embarrassing me,' Kankurou complained. 'Go. Go and do mushy, icky, couple stuff. Get outta here,' he told them, waving a hand in their direction.

'Love you too, Kankurou. See you guys later,' Temari called from the door.

'Cheers,' Shikamaru added, raising a hand in greeting. The chorus of farewells followed after them as the door shut.

'I hope they do move up here,' Temari commented. 'I've gotten used to them being around again.'

'Yeah, me too,' Shikamaru agreed. 'Well, not _again_, obviously, but… Well, now that death threats have stopped, I'm actually starting to enjoy their company.'

Temari laughed. 'Well, come on, let's go get to the food. The baby's hungry,' she said.

'Yeah, I'm sure it is,' Shikamaru remarked dryly, 'If it eats this much when it's born, it'll bankrupt us.'

Temari managed to keep her head held high, even as she punched him in the arm.

_What are you going to do when you do pop this bugger out, and no longer have an excuse to eat as much as you want?_

…_don't insult my baby._

_Sure, ignore the question, why don't you._

_I truly hope you aren't an inherited trait, for the baby's sake._

_Well, that's nice!_

o0o0o

'I am in love with that restaurant,' Temari declared, as they wondered down the road to the park after they had finished their lunch.

'It's a pretty good place,' Shikamaru agreed.

'Pretty good?' Temari exclaimed. 'It's amazing! I'm pretty sure gods would become human just to be able to eat there, it's that good.'

Shikamaru chuckled. 'I've been replaced,' he sighed mournfully.

'That chocolate creation I had for pudding was damn good,' Temari said consideringly.

'Just slice my heart out of my chest, why don't you,' Shikamaru declared jokingly.

Temari laughed and gave him a quick kiss. 'Face it, men have got to learn to accept the fact that chocolate just comes first in a woman's life,' she informed him.

'We don't take defeat well,' he replied, as he guided her into the beautifully tended gardens.

Temari chuckled and looked around. 'You know, I don't think I've ever been here before,' she commented.

'It's one of my most favourite places in the city,' Shikamaru told her.

'It's so beautiful,' Temari breathed.

'Come on, let me show you my favourite spot,' Shikamaru said, tugging her hand.

A smile unfurled itself on Temari's face as he led her to a small alcove surrounded by trees, shrubs, and a small trickling river. 'Your favourite place is a set of swings?' she chuckled.

'You're not allowed to laugh at me.' Shikamaru told her, with a sheepish grin on his face.

Temari flashed him a smile. 'What are you talking about? I love swings.' She settled herself on the suspended wood, slowly pushing herself.

Shikamaru watched her for a bit with a curious smile, before removing his hand from his pocket and settling himself on the second swing.

'The baby's due in two months,' he said, after they had sat in a comfortable silence for a few minutes.

'Yeah. I keep waiting to freak out, but I don't think it's really set in. I can see me having a bloody panic attack the second I go into labour,' Temari commented.

Shikamaru chuckled, 'Well, then, it's good thing we have family around, because I am pretty sure I will be running around like a headless chicken when that happens.'

'Kankurou won't be of any use,' Temari remarked, 'He'll probably start hyperventilating.'

'Yeah, but Gaara seems pretty level-headed,' Shikamaru pointed out.

'Thank god for small mercies, right?' Temari grinned.

'What's going to happen after it's born?' Shikamaru said quietly, after a bit.

'What do you mean?'

'Well… I mean, everything's going to change. Everything.'

'Everything's already changed, Shikamaru. I mean, you just have to look at me to see that,' Temari replied.

'Well, yeah, but… everything's going to _really _change. Like, completely and utterly… different. I mean, for god's sakes, where's it going to _sleep_?' Shikamaru ran a hand over his face.

'My brothers did get us a rather marvelous cot, remember?' Temari reminded him.

Shikamaru gave a wry smile. 'Of course. What I meant was… Oh geez, I'm approaching this the wrong way. Fuck. Um…' He ran his fingers through his hair, staring at the ground.

'What are you on about?' Temari wondered.

Shikamaru shook his head slightly in reply. 'Just…' He broke off, and shook his head again, before turning to smile at her. 'I've got something for you.'

She smiled in return, deciding to just go with it. 'Is it chocolate?' she joked.

He laughed. 'And why would I want to give the competition the edge, exactly?' he quipped with a grin, then pulled something out of his pocket and tossed it to her.

She caught it, and looked down at a small blue material drawstring bag with silver designs all over it. She raised an eyebrow in curiousity then pulled it open, tipping its contents out into her hand. She was left staring, gobstruck, at the silver band with a single diamond that lay winking at her from where it was comfortably nestled in her palm.

'So, what are you doing for the rest of your life?' Shikamaru asked quietly.

-tbc-

**A/N: Yeah, so I know I said I feel bad if a chapter is less than 2000 words, but this chapter is only **_**just **_**less. And I know, the updates just STOPPED, yet again, but I has excuses!... Yeah. Well. So, I finished school, and then I've been working, and then I got my drivers license, and then… well yeah, okay, that doesn't excuse six months or however long it's been. And If you don't mind I am going to finish this in the morning, as it is four in the morning and I have just got back from babysitting, so I am freezing and tired and going to bed. Goodnight.**

**Okay, so I'm back. I had comments. Um. Okay, the way Shikamaru proposed to Temari was actually based on the way my Latin (well, ex now, I guess, since I finished school.) teacher's husband proposed to her- except he said 'What are you doing for the next fifty years?'. She reckons that when that 50 year mark appears she's going to hobble out of there on her walker going 'my contract's up!' She reckons that it was a highly unromantic proposal, but I think that it's really sweet, and in a way, slightly more meaningful than 'will you marry me?'. Maybe I'm alone on this, but that's my opinion.**

…**I think the plug point this is connected to just died. Shit. …Nvm, a switch tripped. All better now.**

**So. I have been working at a preschool. With 2-3 year olds. They are too cute. I witnessed one rocking out to a song he was kind of singing- eyes closed and tossing his head and everything. Only thing that was missing was an air guitar. However, I'm kind of finishing now, so I don't know how they are going to take it, considering one little girl, Hannah, told her mom I'd slapped her in the face while she was sleeping (I wasn't even there, just… by the way) because she was pissed I wasn't there. And why I'm working at the preschool? Because it's pretty much official. I'm au pairing in the states for a year. At this point, I'm just waiting to get placed, so I'm waiting and waiting for a family to give me a call. My profile-thing has been up for about three weeks now. I'm amped, and really want to get placed. Like. Now. (I really am trying to be patient, but come on. I finished school six months ago!)**

**Anyway. So. I'm gonna get started on the next chapter right away. EDIT: The next chapter is well on it's way to completion, sitting at 1000 words already, so that will be posted the next time I get to the internet. I figured I'd steal some time today because I had to come here anyway because my iPod is giving me trouble. As in, it refuses to admit it has any songs on it. But the files are still there, I know, because the 20 odd gigs is still in use. The iPod is just like 'songs? What songs? No songs here. Pictures, I have all your pictures, and those other random files, but no songs, I don't know what you're talking about.' Bitch. EDIT: Okay, so the next chapter is finished and will be going up in a couple seconds/ a minute.**

**I hope you enjoyed it, and I would love to hear what you think! Thanks for reading.**


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

'So, what are you doing for the rest of your life?' Shikamaru asked quietly, eyeing Temari uncertainly, almost wanting to hold his breath.

She didn't say anything, just continued to stare at the ring, her mouth hanging slightly open.

'I mean, I know it's only been a few months, and it's really, really soon, and sudden, and I can understand if you feel it's happening too quickly or something, and if you think I'm really weird, but…' Shikamaru took a deep breath. 'I don't want you to think that I'm doing this because of the baby, because I promise you I'm not.'

He fell silent for a few seconds before continuing quietly.

'I love you, Temari, and I can't imagine life without you. Being with you just feels… right. You take my breath away every time you smile, and getting you pregnant was the best mistake I have ever made. Every single time I look at you, or think of you, I just know. You are the one I want to wake up next to every morning, you are the one I want to grow old with. You are the one I want to share my life with- the trials, the tribulations… everything. You… you're iridescent to me. And I never want to let you go.'

Shikamaru stopped talking as she picked up the ring with her other hand and lifted it up, as if to study it more closely. Still she said nothing.

'Okay, so maybe asking you to move in with me would have been a bit more… appropriate, I suppose, considering the short amount of time we've actually been dating, but… I want you to have my name. And, okay, so it might remarkably caveman of me, but I just… I have this overwhelming urge to claim you definitively as my own.' Shikamaru almost felt as though he had lost control of his mouth. His nerves weren't allowing him to allow silence to consume them once again.

'Temari… please, say something…' he pleaded. 'Anything. You're killing me here.'

'Okay,' she said, suddenly looking at him. 'I'm in.'

Shikamaru blinked. 'What?'

Temari smiled. 'Yes, I'll marry you,' she clarified.

Shikamaru blinked again. He'd spent so much time preparing what to say, how to react, if she'd said no, he hadn't even thought about what he'd do if she said yes. 'You… Really?' was what he came up with.

Temari laughed at the dumbfounded expression on his face. 'There's no need to look so surprised.' She ducked her head shyly for a second. 'I can't imagine life without you either,' she said, then tilted her head in consideration. 'Well, I can, it's just ridiculously depressing.'

She slid the ring onto her left hand ring finger and held her hand out to admire the sight.

'I mean, I can't promise I'll marry you soon, because I don't particularly want to look like a mammoth on my wedding day, and having a wailing baby around could spoil the mood. So maybe when it starts walking. I think that would be a good idea. I don't want this to be a shot gun wedding,' Temari told him matter-of-factly.

'Wait… you're really going to marry me?' Shikamaru asked, astounded.

'Well, if you don't sound pleased by the prospect, then no,' she replied.

'No! Oh, jeez, no, please. You wouldn't believe how much stress this has put me through, please don't change your answer now,' Shikamaru begged hurriedly.

Temari laughed. 'Then yes, I'm really going to marry you.'

Shikamaru gave a disbelieving chuckle. 'How are you so calm about this?' he exclaimed, leaping out of his swing.

Temari gave a small smile as he planted a kiss on her cheek.

_You've become a far better actress then you were before if he thinks you're CALM! EVEN I'M FREAKING OUT!_

_I KNOW! I DON'T KNOW HOW I'M CONTAINING MYSELF! I DIDN'T KNOW I HAD THIS MUCH WILL POWER!_

'To be honest, I'm trying really hard not to punch the air,' she admitted.

Shikamaru nodded. 'Me too. How are you resisting the urge?'

'I am gripping onto these chains very hard,' she shared. 'You?'

'I'm reminding myself that that is a Kiba move, and I am not Kiba. Nor do I aspire to be,' Shikamaru told her.

Temari nodded. 'That's a good one.'

'It's pretty much my mantra whenever I get the urge to do anything stupid. Worked so far,' Shikamaru replied.

She laughed, and they lapsed into silence for a few seconds.

'Temari?' Shikamaru said.

'Yes?' Temari responded.

He grinned. 'We're getting married.'

Temari gave into temptation and gave a loud squeal. 'I'd leap up and into your arms, but I'm seven months pregnant, so it kinda difficult,' she laughed.

Shikamaru leaned forward and grabbed her hands, pulling her onto her feet and hugged her tightly.

'You have made me an incredibly fortunate man,' he murmured.

She smiled. 'I'm the lucky one,' she whispered.

And then, she gave her fiancé a great big kiss.

o0o0o

'They're not going to kill me, are they?' Shikamaru asked nervously, as they stood outside the door to her apartment.

Temari laughed. 'You've already got me pregnant, I don't think they'll be too upset.'

'You sure?'

She shook her head. 'No. I actually have no idea how they'll react.'

Shikamaru chuckled and gave her a kiss. 'Come on, let's go break the news,' he said, grinning.

Temari bit her lip. 'Let's.' And she reached for the door.

'Oh, hey,' Kankurou greeted, looking up from the couch as they walked in. 'You stuck to the curfew, I see.'

Temari laughed. 'Guess what?'

Kankurou looked at her warily. 'Is there an insult following this? Because I feel I'm being set up.'

'We're engaged,' she replied, holding out her left hand.

Gaara and Kankurou looked at each other. 'I call best man!' they yelled out in unison.

Shikamaru blinked. 'Um… I'm pretty I choose the best man…' he said.

'Right…' Kankurou muttered.

'I knew that…' Gaara sighed.

'What I meant was-' Kankurou started.

'I'm walking you down the aisle, Temari,' Gaara interrupted his brother.

'Look, we only intend to get married in about a year and half, two years time,' Temari told them over Kankurou's cry of 'You bastard!'

'And the relevance of that is…?' Gaara prompted.

'Meaning I do not have to choose until we've actually set a date, so you two can just give the whole brotherly rivalry a rest until then,' she laughed, then looked around. 'Secchan not here?' she asked.

Gaara shook his head.

'She declared we needed to become self-sufficient, so she was going out,' Kankurou elaborated.

'Okay, I just have to call her, I actually can't wait,' Temari said, pulling out her phone and dialing.

_Ring Ring._

'Hey, love. Did they burn the house down?' Secchan laughed.

'Shikamaru proposed!' Temari blurted.

'No shit?' Secchan squealed. 'Is the ring gorgeous?'

'It was his mother's,' Temari replied.

'Oh, that is so him. But it's sweet, nonetheless. You said yes, of course,' Secchan checked.

'Oh, definitely. Without hesitation,' Temari affirmed.

'Did he even get to finish the question?' Secchan giggled.

'Oh, he had plenty of time. I sat there staring at the ring in shock for a few minutes. But I already knew what I was going to say,' Temari told her.

'Oh, the poor guy! He must have been dying!' Secchan exclaimed.

Temari grimaced reflexively. 'He was. But it was so unexpected!'

'So, you guys set a date yet, or are you gonna wait until the kid's old enough to enjoy the party?' Secchan asked.

'Long engagement,' Temari responded.

'I thought you'd go for that,' Secchan laughed.

'Okay, don't get home too late, because this requires some major girl talk. Kankurou and Gaara just won't get it,' Temari sighed.

'Of course, darling. I'll pick up some celebratory snacks,' Secchan instantly agreed.

'Awesome. Hey, tell Kiba while you're there, 'kay? Who knows, maybe he'll take a hint,' Temari teased.

There was a brief silence on the other end of the line before Secchan abruptly hung up.

'Bitch,' Temari commented with a smile.

'I should probably get going,' Shikamaru said regretfully, 'I've got some work I've been neglecting, and Tenten will murder me if it's not on her desk tomorrow.'

'I'll see you then,' Temari smiled, leaning forward and giving him a kiss. Kankurou and Gaara's groans filled the room as they got a bit carried.

'Come on!' Gaara complained.

'Seriously, we're in the room, Temari, not cool,' Kankurou whined, 'Not cool.'

'I'm allowed to!' Temari protested, breaking away from Shikamaru.

'No! The only time I ever want to see mouth to mouth contact between you two that lasts' more than nought point two seconds is on your wedding day, whenever that may be,' Kankurou insisted, 'Or, y'know, if one of you is choking, or, like, not breathing, or some shit that requires CPR. But otherwise, just…. no!'

Temari pouted. 'Spoilsport.' She turned to Shikamaru. 'Bye, love. I'll see you in the morning. Sorry about my buttwipe brothers,' she said.

'That's not nice!' Kankurou protested loudly.

Shikamaru chuckled. 'Bye. Sleep tight.' He leaned forward and gave her a chaste peck on the cheek.

'Now that is acceptable,' Kankurou declared.

Shikamaru raised a hand in greeting to the guys. 'See you guys soon,' he said.

'Yeah, cheers, dude,' Kankurou greeted.

'See ya,' Gaara nodded.

'Bye,' Temari smiled as he walked past her, leaning against the door. He gave her a small sign and gave her hand a brief squeeze as he passed.

'Oh, shit, dude, he's gonna be like our _brother_!' he heard Kankurou exclaim just before the door closed completely. He raised his eyebrows at the idea of calling the two dangerous men his brothers and chuckled, shaking his head.

o0o0o

Shikamaru walked into his house to find his parents sitting in the lounge. Both looked up as he entered and gazed at him expectantly.

'Well?' Yoshino prompted.

Shikamaru smiled slightly. _Of course they'd know._

'She said yes,' he replied, allowing his smile to stretch into a grin.

Yoshino clapped her hands together. 'Wonderful!' she exclaimed.

Shikaku gave a wide smile and nodded slowly. 'Of course she did.'

'She doesn't want to get married immediately, though. She wants to wait until the baby can walk,' Shikamaru told them.

Yoshino shrugged. 'That sounds like a perfectly reasonable idea. And plenty of time to plan, too.'

Shikaku chuckled at his wife, and heaved himself out of the couch, walking over and clapping a hand on his son's shoulder.

'Well done, m'boy. We couldn't have wished for a better daughter-in-law,' he declared.

Shikamaru laughed. 'Thanks, dad.'

o0o0o

'Dude! You gave in!' Kiba exclaimed as he set eyes on Shikamaru the next morning.

'What?' Shikamaru looked up, momentarily confused.

'You gave in! You're getting married!' Kiba elaborated.

'He's doing what now?' Chouji demanded, walking in.

'He proposed yesterday,' Kiba informed him.

'No shit! How come you know before me?' Chouji asked him, settling himself into his desk.

'I'm bonking the maid-of-honour, remember,' Kiba reminded him, leaning back in his chair and grinning.

Shikamaru groaned at Kiba's turn of phrase and resisted the urge to bang his head against his desk.

'Still?' Chouji looked surprised. 'That has to be a record.'

'So not the point. I call arranging the stag night,' Kiba declared.

'As if anyone else could do a better job,' Chouji returned.

'I know right?' Kiba grinned. 'But seriously, dude, congrats and everything,' he said turning to Shikamaru.

'Yeah, definitely. How come you didn't tell us you were going to ask her?' Chouji asked.

'Because I was afraid she's say no,' Shikamaru replied, his voice slightly muffled by the hands that were covering his face- he'd decided to go with the whole 'see no evil' approach in lieu of personal injury.

'Aren't you boys extraordinarily chatty this morning,' Tenten commented, walking past.

'Hey, Tenten, why don't you go ask Temari if anything exciting happened this weekend!' Kiba grinned.

Tenten furrowed her brow. 'Why?'

'Just go ask her, it'll be worth it,' Kiba assured her. 'Promise. You really don't want to wait. It's quite big.'

'Are you just trying to get me out the office, Inuzuka?' Tenten asked suspiciously.

'No way, ma'am, I would never do such a thing. And I mean, come on. Work's barely started,' Kiba scoffed.

Tenten narrowed her eyes at him. 'Fine. But only because the curiousity will kill me. This better not be a prank, Inuzuka.'

'Swear on my life,' Kiba promised, holding his hands up, palms out.

'Also, because I didn't want her to hear about it before I actually asked her,' Shikamaru sighed as Tenten disappeared around the corner.

'Are you trying to imply something?' Kiba demanded.

Shikamaru looked at him. 'You are incapable of keeping a secret that doesn't somehow benefit you,' he said.

Kiba shrugged. 'I can't argue with that.'

'So this Secchan girl, she must be something, huh?' Chouji asked Kiba.

Shikamaru groaned as a grin spread over Kiba's face, desperately wishing he had earplugs, as the 'hear no evil' approach was sounding very appealing.

Turns out he needn't have worried, because his friend was unusually close-lipped- something Shikamaru was grateful for.

o0o0o

'Temari-biscuit, Inuzuka was being unusually cryptic when he sent me- whoa, shiny rock,' Tenten sut herself off as she caught sight of the ring.

'Isn't it just?' Temari grinned.

'That explains the boys. Congratulations, babe. Can't wait for the hen do.' Tenten winked.

Temari laughed. 'I don't even want to think of what Secchan will cook up.'

'Is the wedding before the due date?' Tenten asked, nodding towards Temari's fairly prominent baby bump.

Temari shook her head. 'Not at all. Not for a while, actually.'

Tenten gave one nod of her head. 'Brilliant. That means the next thing to look forward to would be your baby shower.'

_Oh right. That. _

_Yay, presents!_

_You superficial hobo. They're not even for you._

…_well that just sucks._

-tbc-

**A/N: It is way past my bedtime. I am working tomorrow. But I just knew what to write, and so was like whatever, let's get this done. Because now I can post two chapters at the same time.**

**So, I reckon there may be, what, another two chapters? Not much more. **

**Oh, and Chouji has appeared, for what I think is the first time since the first chapter. **

**I hope you enjoyed it, and I would love to know what you think! (Favourite quotes are welcome, should you wish to include them =))**

…**I am so going to regret this tomorrow. However cute they may be, two year olds are not forgiving to a tired person. And there's just two of us looking after all… well, anywhere between seventeen/eighteen and something like twenty-one, depending on how many are sick. Oh well. I will survive. **

…**review, please? **


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

'Seriously, dude, don't you have your own house?' Kankurou complained for the umpteenth time to Shikamaru as he sat on the couch, Temari's legs on his lap.

'It's not a crime to want to spend time with my fiancée,' Shikamaru replied, 'and it's not like we're doing anything inappropriate.'

'Or at least what you would deem inappropriate because we're engaged and about to have a baby, so not much we do could really be considered inappropriate, especially seeing as we're in the privacy on our own home,' Temari added.

'You mean _your _own home, which your long-suffering younger brother is currently inhabiting,' Kankurou pointed out.

'Yeah, how's that house hunting going, by the way?' Temari asked.

'We're just finalizing our jobs here, then we're good to go,' Kankurou replied, flopping on the chair with a box of cereal.

'And I wonder where all the cereal goes,' Temari remarked dryly.

'You eat frosted flakes?' Shikamaru asked.

Kankurou nodded as he chewed. 'They're the best.'

'They're like pure sugar,' Shikamaru stated.

'I know. It's awesome,' Kankurou replied.

Temari made a face. 'I need to pee. Again.'

'Seriously. There is no way you drink as much as you pee,' Kankurou declared, 'Where the hell does all the extra liquid come from?'

Temari just looked at Shikamaru, then heaved herself up from the couch with difficulty, pushing on Shikamaru's knee for assistance, causing Shikamaru to wince- a wince he quickly wiped off his face when she was up and able to look at him.

'Well?' Kankurou asked Shikamaru through a mouthful of frosted flakes as Temari waddled off to the bathroom. 'Aren't you meant to be super smart, or some shit?'

Shikamaru blinked at him. 'Kankurou, I have no idea where all the extra pee comes from. It's not something I particularly want to talk or think about, either, so… Any chance of dropping the subject?'Shikamaru offered.

Kankurou shrugged and popped another handful of sugared cereal into his mouth. 'Whatever. I was just wondering.'

'I think you might be on your own there,' Shikamaru replied dryly.

'I'm back!' Temari announced loudly.

'That was extraordinarily quick,' Kankurou mumbled.

'You're disgusting, Kankurou. I'm not letting you near my child until you've learnt some manners,' Temari replied.

Kankurou glared at her and swallowed. 'That's mean, Temari-biscuit. Very, very mean. You would deprive your child of an awesome uncle because you're stuck on something as silly as manners?'

Shikamaru snorted, and then caught Temari's glare and pretended he was coughing.

'You're spineless,' Kankurou told him.

'Yeah, well, guess who's going to be shouted at in a minute or two?' Shikamaru rejoined.

'Ah, fuck it,' Kankurou muttered resignedly as he glanced at Temari and saw that, indeed, she was in her I'm-about-to-yell-at-you mode. 'I'm sorry!' he yelled, 'I'll swallow before talking next time!'

_Eh-heh. He said he'd swallow._

_Seriously. You are ridiculous. That's not even vaguely dirty._

_It so is, though._

…_Okay well, maybe a little bit, but still. Besides which, ew. That's disgusting._

_But funny._

_Oh shush._

_You know it's funny._

_I said shush!_

Pursing her lips in a way that looked as if she was restraining herself from yelling, when she was actually trying not to giggle- honestly, she was about a week away from becoming a mother, she shouldn't be snickering over something so immature- Temari held her chin up and wandered into the kitchen.

'Very well, then. I'm hungry. Anyone else want something?' she asked.

Kankurou held up his cereal box. 'I'm good,' he announced.

Shikamaru just shook his head, so Temari shrugged and opened the cupboard, staring into it as though some deliciously tempting food stuff would leap out and land in her hand.

Eventually, she grabbed some crackers and made her way back to the lounge. Before she had reached the couch, though, she froze as her legs were suddenly drenched.

Kankurou raised an eyebrow at her stricken face, then saw the situation and snorted. 'Okay, seriously, Temari, you just went to the toilet. Either you were so not finished, which is possible considering how quick you were, or your bladder just plain sucks,' he told her.

_Oh, ew! Really? Don't you have bladder control? And to think, you're having a baby._

_Um… that wasn't pee._

_What do you mean, it wasn't pee? What else could it be?_

_You know when you said I'm having a baby? Well, I'm having a baby._

_Yeah, and?_

… _Wait for it…._

_OH MY GOD! YOU'RE HAVING THE BABY! LIKE RIGHT NOW!_

_And we're there._

'Shikamaru!' she squeaked.

'Yeah?' he answered looking up. After about half a minute of her staring at him, his eyes widened in shock and Temari mentally rolled her eyes. 'Oh. Oh! Oh shit!' He leapt up and jumped to her side, in a complete dither.

'What? What's going on?' Kankurou asked, looking between the two in confusion.

'Her water just broke! She's in labour!' Shikamaru cried in a panic, then reached for his phone as Kankurou dropped the cereal box, and gaped.

'Mom!' Shikamaru said, holding his phone to his ear. 'Mom, mom, Temari's water just broke! She's in labour!'

'Oh my- where are you guys?'

'At her flat!'

'…You haven't left yet.'

'It's just happened!'

'Then why, may I ask, are you calling me?'

'I don't know! What do I do?'

Yoshino heaved a sigh on the other end of the line. 'Oh lord, you're worse than your father. Right. Shikamaru, first thing you need to do, is get her to the hospital.'

Shikamaru blinked. 'Right. Hospital. Of course.'

'I could have told you that!' Temari cried.

'Shikamaru?'

'Yes mom?'

'Go.'

Shikamaru didn't need telling twice. He shut his phone and slid it into his pocket, herding Temari towards the door. 'Kankurou,' he called over his shoulder, 'Kankurou, you have to drive!'

'What?' Kankurou exclaimed.

'Drop the bloody cereal and get to the car!' Temari yelled.

Kankurou scrambled out of the chair, cereal spilling out of the box, and he dithered from side to side for a second or two before leaping over the couch and grabbing car keys, following Shikamaru and Temari swiftly out the door.

o0o0o

'Secchan!' Temari panted into the phone.

'Hey, Temari-biscuit. Why do you sound so harried?'

'I'm in labour. Turns out they weren't lying, contractions really hurt,' Temari told her.

'Oh shit! You're having the baby now?'

'Well, hopefully it'll wait until we get to the hospital but… yeah. So we kinda left in a bit of a rush-'

'I can't imagine why.'

'Ha. Funny. Anyway, I need you to go fetch some of my stuff and bring it to the hospital.'

'Yeah, okay. What stuff?'

'I don't know. Um. I don't know. What stuff would I need?'

'Clothes?' Shikamaru suggested from next to her. 'Baby clothes, spare clothes for you, baby blanket-'

Temari let out a yell 'Fuck! That one hurts! Mother-! You talk!' She thrust the phone at Shikamaru and gritted her teeth.

'Hey, Secchan, it's Shikamaru,' Shikamaru said into the mouthpiece.

'Hey! How're you holding up?'

'Attempting not to freak out and possibly not doing a very good job of it, thanks for asking,' Shikamaru replied dryly. 'Anyway, stuff you need to bring.'

'Right. What must I get?'

'Clothes. For Temari and the baby. The new-born baby clothes are in her cupboard, I think. Also a baby blanket.'

'KANKUROU! I WOULD LIKE TO GET THERE IN ONE PIECE!' Temari screeched, and Secchan laughed.

'Kankurou's driving, huh?'

'Yeah. I think this trip is going to cost us. Traffic fines, at the very least.'

'Well, I'll see you at hospital. Hopefully, Temari'll be the only one in a bed.'

'I'm with you on that one. Cheers.'

Shikamaru hung up and paid his full attention to his screaming fiancée- she was alternately yelling from pain or screaming at Kankurou, but either way, she spent the majority of the trip making a lot of noise.

o0o0o

'Oh, fuck! Gaara!' Kankurou yelped as they hurried into the hospital, and Temari got to the desk to check in- well, got to the desk to prove she was, indeed, having a baby while Shikamaru checked her in.

'Shikamaru, Shikamaru, give me your phone,' Kankurou demanded, just about punching Shikamaru in the back.

'Hold on one second,' Shikamaru told the receptionist, and turned to glare at his soon-to-be brother-in-law. 'What do you want my phone for?'

'I need to call Gaara. And I left my phone at home,' Kankurou explained and Shikamaru's eyes grew wide when he realized that they'd forgotten to let him know- and partially at the idea of what would happen if they didn't let him know.

'Can you please just get on with it so I can have this baby!' Temari yelled.

'Right,' Shikamaru said, and hastily dug out his phone and turned back to the receptionist.

o0o0o

'I want the drugs! Give me the goddamn drugs!' Temari yelled after she'd pushed (again) and the baby hadn't emerged yet.

'Temari-' Shikamaru started.

'Give me the fucking drugs!' she screeched, causing Yoshino's eyebrows to fly up.

'Such language,' she tutted, and Shikaku snorted.

'Do you remember giving birth?' he asked, 'I remember having some choice expletives thrown at me.'

Yoshino waved a hand in his direction. 'Oh hush.' She hurried up to Temari's side, and took her hand from Secchan, who relinquished it gratefully. 'Temari, dear, you're almost there,' she soothed, 'It won't be much longer.'

'Mom, weren't you in labour with me for something like twelve hours? I seem to remember you constantly rubbing that fact in,' Shikamaru declared in a slightly panicked voice from the other side of Temari.

'WHAT?' Temari cried, her eyes growing wide again, and Yoshino rolled her eyes at her son in exasperation.

'It was an exceptionally long labour, I'm sure this won't take much longer, dear, I really don't. I didn't start pushing until a lot longer in. You're well on your way to having this baby,' Yoshino assured her.

'Nice one, son,' Shikaku chuckled, patting Shikamaru on the shoulder. 'Getting her to relax… nice going.'

'Oh, shut it,' Shikamaru replied, and then glanced around the delivery room for the first time in a while. 'Where are Kankurou and Gaara?'

'I do believe as soon as the call to push came they made a hasty exit, and are currently in the waiting room. Keeping someone called Kiba company, I think was their excuse,' Shikaku responded.

Shikamaru blinked. 'Kiba's here?'

'I was with him when you called, and he decided to tag along,' Secchan remarked, and Shikamaru raised a teasing eyebrow at her.

'Of course you with him,' he replied dryly, then yelped as Temari gripped his hand tighter as she gave another huge push.

o0o0o

'It's a girl!' Shikamaru cried delightedly as he bounced into the waiting room not that long afterwards.

'I have never seen him that energetic,' Chouji remarked, then almost fell over as Shikamaru attack-hugged him.

'I'm a dad!' Shikamaru grinned widely.

'Congrats, dude. So when can we see her?' Chouji asked, while Kiba laughed at their friend.

'I'm just waiting for you to squeal like a little girl,' Kiba chuckled as he gave Shikamaru a man-hug. Shikamaru just grinned in reply.

'You can't even upset me right now, Mr Spent the Last Six Months Sleeping With the Same Woman and Only Her and Yet Still Won't Admit He Might Have Feelings For Her,' Shikamaru replied cheerily, causing Kiba to look vaguely sheepish and Chouji to laugh.

'Imagine actually having that as a surname. Filling out forms would be pure hell,' Kankurou muttered before shaking his head and hitting Shikamaru lightly on the back of the head. 'Dude. You gonna take us to see our niece any time soon?'

Shikamaru blinked at him, rubbing his head. 'You could have just gone… Gaara has…'

Kankurou looked around the room to find that, indeed, his brother had disappeared, then stared awkwardly at Shikamaru.

'Whatever,' Kankurou declared belligerently, 'You don't know me.' And with that, he promptly left the room.

Shikamaru grinned at Kiba and Chouji. 'Come on, I want you guys to see my daughter. I have a _daughter_,' he repeated, sounding vaguely awestruck before he shook his head and waved for his friends to follow him down the passageway to the room Temari (and everyone else) was in.

'So, what, is Secchan your _girlfriend_?' Chouji teased Kiba as they trailed after Shikamaru, and Kiba gave a deadpan stare in reply.

'Can we focus on Shikamaru's child? You know, the reason we're here?' Kiba told Chouji. 'I mean, I know I'm amazing, and everything, but I think it's only fair that the spotlight should be on Shikamaru and his family on this joyous occasion, rather than on me, as it usually is.'

Chouji snorted. 'Yeah. Quite interested to meet this girl that's stolen your heart. She must be something special,' he commented.

'Fuck you!' Kiba exclaimed, 'Who said anything about my heart being stolen! Who says that, anyway!'

'Oh, methinks thou dost protest too much,' Chouji remarked, grinning.

Kiba blinked at him. 'Actually, no, who says _that_? And it's only been like five, maybe six months, it's not even that long.'

'Dude, for you that's like a lifetime. I don't remember you having a relationship that lasted longer than…' Chouji paused to think. '…a week.'

Kiba seemed relieved that they'd finally reached the room, and pointedly ignored Chouji to go and coo over the new baby. Which just made Temari laugh at him, but he handled it.

'Chouji, when did you get here?' Shikaku asked, smiling in surprise.

'Kiba called, sir. Good to see you,' Chouji greeted, shaking Shikaku's hand and then chuckling as Yoshino rolled her eyes and hugged him.

'Honestly, Chouji, we've known you since you were the same age as my new grandchild, you don't need to stand on formality,' she told him firmly.

'Yes, ma'am,' Chouji replied then chuckled sheepishly as she fixed him with a pointed stare. 'Yoshino. Sorry.'

'Well, come and meet my granddaughter, Miaka,' Yoshino declared proudly, ushering Chouji towards the bed.

Shikamaru looked up from his daughter sharply as he heard this. 'Wait, you guys decided on a name while I was out of the room?' he exclaimed, and Temari rolled her eyes at him.

'Shikamaru, we decided on that name, like, a week ago,' she told him.

'Two days,' Kankurou interjected, 'I remember the conversation. It was held during an episode of a very good tv show that I don't know what happened in because I couldn't hear.'

'Right,' Shikamaru said, 'I remember now. Sorry, forgot. You know, just had a baby and all.'

'You mean, I just had a baby,' Temari cut in.

'Well, you just had my baby,' Shikamaru amended.

Temari chuckled and gazed fondly at her daughter.

'You were such a bitch to push out, but I'm so glad I did,' Temari told her, and Secchan snorted from beside.

'You're such a polite mother,' she snickered.

'You try giving birth and we'll see who's polite,' Temari rejoined.

Shikamaru looped an arm over Temari's shoulder and kissed her cheek. 'I love you,' he whispered, and she smiled back.

'I love you too,' she replied, just as quietly.

Then the moment was broken by Kankurou loudly demanding to hold his niece.

-tbc-

**A/N: AGAIN, I've let this story loll around for an extended amount of time! I'm not entirely sure how long, I think it's like five months or something. I'm sorry. **

**I realized, while writing this, that I really don't like writing birth scenes. They're limiting. Trying to find a place to end this chapter without it pointlessly meandering along for ever and day, proved hard. Okay, I started writing this chapter right after I put up the last one, but got, like, 300 words in and… stopped. I don't know. Harry Potter came out. And then I went to Durban for two months to chill with my dad and my friend with whom I write a collab story that isn't on because –gasp!- it's original. Well, okay, so there are three Harry Potter characters in it, but they're not in… well, it's worked so it's a coincidence they have the same name I don't even know. And besides, three out of maybe about 400 characters (Yes, we came up with 400 characters. At least, 400 character names. Well. 375. Close enough. And arranged them alphabetically by surname shit up we're not OCD.) And that's just the complete and utter crack fic part of the thing- we have a Next Gen part to it. Which actually has , like, a plot. It's amazing. And it's a bit weird coming back to this story, because I've been completely absorbed by the Next Gen of Milking Patchouli (the collab story) and in the original (MP1) Secchan is a character- a main character- except she's in school, and, y'know, not friends with Temari, and anyway, in the next gen, she has kids. Two. I mean, they have different fathers, but still. SO I've been writing as Secchan's daughter A LOT recently, because I'm doing freewriting again for NaNoWriMo this year (doing a lot better than I did last year, I'm aiming to get up to 30k tonight- I'm only 400 words away) and the bulk of that freewriting has been Milking Patchouli Next Gen (MP2) with some HP fanfiction thrown in.**

**Also, I realized that this story was originally posted in 2008. THREE YEARS AGO. HOLY CRAP. THREE YEARS. I HAVE FINISHED SCHOOL IN THAT TIME. And I just have to say, if there is anyone out there who has been following this story since the very first chapter went up and is still following it… I just… Wow. Like… Wow. Thanks. If there is anyone. I love all my readers deeply regardless. In fact, to get me hyped up to finish this chapter I read all the reviews for this story again- and there's 199 of them, so (the fact that it's 199 kills me. It's like. ONE MORE! But no worries, I have a feeling I will surpass the 200 review (!) mark when I post this tomorrow.). I love you all so much.**

**ANYWAY, so having said that, I really would love it if you did review! I could see a friend or two of mine just not reviewing, and like making everyone not review, just to make sure I don't get that 200****th**** review, just to spite me or something. Actually, no, I can't see any of my friends doing that. Maybe. But anyway.**

**Hope you enjoyed the penultimate (!) chapter, and I'm planning to get those 400 words tonight on the next chapter so it should be up very very soon. And the it will be over and that will feel SO WEIRD. **

**I love you all. Please review. Thank you for reading. You're all amazing. I love you. I'm in a very loving mood right now (WOW that could be taken in a perverted way! I didn't MEAN it in one!). **


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

_**Two Years Later, Give Or Take A Few Months**_

'Oh my god, oh my god oh my god,' Temari panicked, turning around in frantic circles. 'I've lost Miaka! How do I _lose _my daughter?'

Yoshino chuckled from the corner. 'Temari, dear, she's two, it happens.'

Temari turned on her, her eyes wide. 'No! It mustn't happen! It doesn't happen! And how are _you _the nonchalant one?'

'Because you forgot a very important detail,' Yoshino replied calmly.

Temari blinked. 'I did? The door. She can't get out the door. Is she hiding under a table?' Temari crouched down to peer under a low desk, and Yoshino laughed.

'Miaka needed the toilet. Secchan's taken her,' Yoshino told her, and Temari scowled.

'And you couldn't have just told me that? That was mean,' Temari told her soon to be mother in law.

'Oh, I didn't mean to scare you. And you didn't exactly give me chance,' Yoshino pointed out.

_Okay, wow, I thought you were going to have a heart attack. That was terrifying. But the lady speaks the truth._

_Oh shush, I turned around for TWO SECONDS and she disappears. Yes I am going to freak out._

_You got distracted daydreaming and didn't hear Secchan say she was taking the whining Miaka to the toilet, what's the betting._

_My daughter doesn't whine. _

_Mmhmm, sure._

_Shut up. I'm right. And the fact that she's walking now is going to send me to an early grave, I swear._

_You'd rather carry her everywhere?_

_At least I know where she is._

_Toddler leash. That's all I'm saying._

_I'm seriously considering it._

'Okay,' Temari sighed, and smoothed her dress down. 'You're right.'

Just then the door opened and Secchan ushered in the little blonde girl who had caused Temari such consternation.

'You almost gave me a heart attack!' Temari exclaimed, rushing to pick up her daughter. 'I had no idea where she was!'

Secchan raised an eyebrow. 'Did you not hear her declare quite loudly that she needed a wee?'

_Told you so._

_Um, no. Secchan didn't say she announced she was taking her to the bathroom. And Miaka didn't whine._

_Same difference. You zoned out._

'No, I didn't,' Temari admitted and put Miaka down. 'But I's my wedding day, I'm allowed to be distracted. And easily panicked,' she added, shooting a glance at Yoshino, who chuckled.

'Oh please, as if you didn't have enough time to prepare. Even Tenten managed to change her name to Hyuuga since Shikamaru popped the question,' Secchan said, rolling her eyes, and kneeling down to fix the ring of flowers onto Miaka's head.

Temari pouted at her, then grinned sweetly. 'You're next, then,' she told Secchan cheerily, and then went to check her hair in the mirror, reaching for the veil.

Secchan chuckled. 'Kiba and I are living together, we don't need to rush things. We're quite happy as it is.'

'That used to upset you so much,' Temari sighed, attempting to pin the veil in place, then relinquishing the responsibility to Yoshino, who'd hurried over, tutting.

'I've matured,' Secchan replied, as sugary sweet as Temari's grin had been.

'I know, you're actually having a grown-up relationship, I'm impressed,' Temari shot back.

Secchan smirked at her friend's reflection. 'I've always had grown-up relationships,' she replied, winking suggestively, and Temari shot her a mild glare.

'Shan, like your necklace,' Miaka piped up, reaching out to grab at the pendant.

Secchan smiled at her. 'Thanks, sweetie. Do you want to wear it?'

Miaka's face lit up with excitement. 'Uh-huh!' She nodded eagerly. Secchan laughed and reached behind her neck to undo the clasp, before fixing the necklace around Miaka's neck.

Miaka grinned at the necklace, threw her arms around Secchan's neck, then hurried over to her mom.

'Mommy, look!' she declared excitedly, and with once glance in the mirror, to make sure Yoshino was done, Temari turned to lean down to look at the necklace Miaka was holding up proudly.

'Oh, it's beautiful, honey,' Temari cooed, smiling indulgently at her little girl.

'Gammy, look!' Miaka cried, turning her attention to her grandmother, who scooped her up in her arms.

'A pretty necklace for a beautiful girl,' Yoshino said, cuddling her granddaughter adoringly.

'We should get going. Just about time for you to become a Missus,' Secchan grinned at Temari, who immediately became flustered.

'Oh my god, it's time, it's time, okay.' Temari took a deep breath and closed her eyes briefly, calming herself down. 'Okay. Do I look okay?'

Secchan laughed. 'Temari-biscuit, you look beautiful. An absolute vision. Shikamaru is going to die when he see's you,' she declared.

'You sure?' Temari grinned.

'Temari, darling, you're perfect,' Yoshino assured her.

Temari grinned in reply, biting her lip in excitement.

o0o0o

'She's sure taking her sweet time pitching up,' Kankuro muttered, and Gaara nudged him sharply in his ribs.

'Shut up, Kankurou,' Gaara muttered.

Kiba grinned next to Kankurou, and leaned slightly closer. 'Your sister's finally getting married. How does it feel?' he whispered.

'Horrible. Terrible. Worst day of my life,' Kankurou replied instantly, keeping his voice low.

Gaara rolled his eyes. 'Kankurou.'

'He asked me how I felt,' Kankurou replied.

Gaara leaned forward enough so he could see Kiba. 'He's talking bullshit,' he told him quietly, indicating Kankurou with a jerk of his head. 'He's been more excited than Temari.'

'Now who's talking shit,' Kankurou muttered.

'I wouldn't lie in a church, Kankurou, what kind of a man do you think I am?' Gaara muttered, and managed only an eye twitch when Kankurou ground his toes with his heel.

'Awfully chatty, aren't you,' Chouji murmured from next to Gaara.

'I hate ties, Temari's taking forever, and this is starting to get awkward,' Kankurou muttered in reply.

'He hasn't a patient bone in his body,' Gaara added.

'I've seen Miaka beat him in a staring contest,' Kiba put in.

'That is a bald-faced lie,' Kankurou insisted.

'Did she know you were playing?' Chouji whispered with a smile.

'Would you all kindly shut your traps,' Shikamaru hissed through clenched teeth from next to the altar, and his groomsmen suddenly all became quite interested by various finishings in the church.

Then the music started, and Shikamaru was so distracted he didn't even roll his eyes when he heard Chouji say 'Oh, look, here they come.' or Kankurou's mutter of 'Finally!'

First to come up the aisle were Tenten, Ino and Secchan who took their places opposite the boys as Miaka came walking up the aisle, sprinkling rose petals on the floor with intense concentration. About half way up the aisle she looked up and, seeing her father, dropped the basket and hurried up to him, hugging his legs tightly.

Shikamaru chuckled, and squeezed her shoulder, leaning down to give her a quick hug and to accept her kiss.

'Go stand by Secchan, love,' he whispered, and Miaka nodded, scuttling off to take Secchan's outstretched hand.

Shikamaru straightened up and couldn't stop the grin already on his face from widening as he saw Temari standing at the end of the aisle, smiling at him, her arm looped through his father's.

She looked breathtaking, and he felt that no one could love anyone more than he loved her at that moment, and when she joined him at the alter and he took her hand, he glanced briefly at his daughter, and he decided that he was blessed with what had to be the two most beautiful girls in the world.

o0o0o

'We're married!' Temari squealed, giving Shikamaru another kiss as everyone made their way to the reception.

Shikamaru laughed. 'Took us long enough.'

'Hey,' Temari told him, 'We had very valid reasons for waiting.'

'I'm just happy we're finally married,' he murmured, and leaned in to kiss her again.

'Oh, I hoped you'd stop kissing when you tied the knot,' Kankurou declared, crinkling his nose at them.

'What, you don't want another niece or nephew?' Temari inquired innocently.

'It's possible to have sex without kissing,' Kankurou said, and Shikamaru and Temari looked at him in surprise.

'Wait, is he actually accepting the fact that we have sex?' Shikamaru asked Temari, his arm looped around her waist.

'Most definitely not,' Kankurou told him, 'I'm determinedly not thinking of you two with that sentence.'

'So you're saying you've actually done that?' Temari giggled, 'Oooh, Kanky,' she teased, waggling her eyebrows at him.

Kankurou shook his head, his face remaining deadpan. 'That wasn't even a good pun, Temari.'

Temari snorted. 'I found it funny,' she giggled.

_You are so lame, it's embarrassing._

_Shut up, it's funny._

_Lame._

_Your face is lame._

_Your face is my face, dumbass._

_I just got married. I don't care what you say. You can't upset me. _

_God dammit. How else am I going to amuse myself?_

'What's up with her?' Secchan asked, strolling up with Kiba.

'Her funny bone's broken,' Kankurou informed her, and Secchan shrugged.

'Oh, that's old news,' Secchan replied airily.

'Oi!' Temari exclaimed indignantly and Secchan grinned at her.

'I still love you, Temari-biscuit,' she cooed.

'You're lucky I'm in a good mood,' Temari told her, and ruined the stern effect with a wide grin.

_I'm MARRIED. MARRIED._

_I got that._

_I'M MARRIED!_

_Yes. And we're all very happy. You can stop saying it now._

_Spoilsport._

o0o0o

'_Next door there's an old man who live to his nineties and one day passed away in his sleep. And his wife, she stayed for a couple of days and passed away. I'm sorry, I know that's a strange way to tell you that I know we belong. That I know that I am, I am, I am the Luckiest.'_

The last notes of the song drifted away and Shikamaru gave Temari a chaste kiss as they finished their first dance as husband and wife.

'I love you,' he whispered and she smiled back at him.

'I love you too,' she replied.

'May I have this dance?' Gaara asked politely, holding out his hand to his sister, who laughed.

'Be my guest,' Shikamaru chuckled.

'It being your wedding, I technically am,' Gaara replied, and flashed his new brother in law a smile.

'Smartass,' Shikamaru muttered as he strolled off the dance floor.

'Shikamaru. You wanna keep your daughter company?' Shikaku grinned. 'I would like to dance with my wife.'

Shikamaru laughed and took Miaka from his father. 'Hey, love, do you want to dance?' he asked, and Miaka nodded. 'Okay. Come on, love.'

He led his daughter out onto the dance floor and lifted her up, placing her on his feet and stepping lightly from side to side.

He chuckled as he passed Temari, now dancing with Kankurou.

'You dance, Kankurou?' he asked.

'Not very well,' Temari replied, grinning.

'I dance fine, thank you very much,' Kankurou declared indignantly.

'If you say so,' Shikamaru said, not bothering to keep the smile off his face as they whirled off.

'Hey, now, Shikamaru, you can't hog the prettiest girl here,' Kiba declared boisterously, and leant down. 'Miaka, do you wanna dance with Uncle Kiba?' He leant in and whispered conspiratorially, 'I'm a better dancer than your daddy.'

'Okay,' Miaka replied, and gave her dad a hug around the knees. 'Daddy, I'm gonna dance with Unca Kiba now, kay?'

Shikamaru laughed. 'Of course it's okay, Miaka.'

Kiba scooped Miaka up and placed her on his hip, holding one of her arms out straight and danced off, whirling her in circles.

'He's surprisingly good with kids,' Shikamaru remarked to Secchan, who'd been Kiba's previous dance partner.

'He's good at a lot of things,' Secchan replied.

'And now we're entering the realm of things I don't particularly want to hear about,' Shikamaru told her, smiling lightly. Secchan chuckled.

'Congrats, dude,' she told him.

He smiled at her. 'Thanks.'

o0o0o

It was near the end of the reception, and Shikamaru was sitting at his table, Miaka asleep in his arms, and Temari leaning against his arm.

'I'd put my arm around you, but…' he murmured to her and she chuckled.

'You don't have to. I'm quite fine like this,' she sighed.

Shikamaru pressed his lips to her forehead with a smile.

'Secchan and Kiba gone?' he asked.

'Well, they're not in the tent. But that doesn't mean they're _gone_,' Temari chuckled.

'There are children here,' Shikamaru said, in mock scandal.

'There's one, and she's asleep.'

'True.'

His parents were swaying on the dance floor, as was Kankurou- most likely a bit inebriated it seemed- and Gaara was picking at the cake.

Sitting there with his daughter and his wife, Shikamaru thought that he really was the luckiest.

He had everything he ever wanted.

o0o0o

_Wait. Shikamaru's parents are looking after Miaka tonight, right?_

_That's the plan._

_Oh goodie. _

_**-**_END-

**A/N: Wow, it's actually finished. Forgive me if the end was a bit… meh, but I honestly didn't know how else to end it. Also. It's two in the morning. But even before I read those graphic novels, I didn't know how to end it.**

**Oh, so the song lyrics are from 'The Luckiest' by Ben Folds, and it is such a beautiful song, it really is, I adore it so much. It's just… Beautiful.**

**But. Well. Yeah. It's finished. After THREE YEARS, it's finished. Wow, this is gonna be a weird feeling. Like. Seriously. Next thing I gotta finish is 'Asylum Kids: Inmates' Profiles' and then 'Nursery Rhymes Are Murder' (Remind me never to right a crime fic again. It's really not my strong point)**

**So, thank you for sticking with me and this story, sorry for all the times I've left you hanging for months on end (I really did feel bad. All the time), and for the last time on this story, I hope you enjoyed, and please let me know what you thought!**

…**I feel like this should be accompanied by rousing theme music and a slowly lowering curtain with echoing applause. I don't know. I'm tired. It's two in the morning. I made chocolate vodka. I didn't drink any though. I don't think drunk writing would be particularly good. **

**Although, actually, it can be quite amusing. If you're talking to someone. A friend of mine called a mutual (male) friend of ours her lesbian lover. But that was a rather funny night all round so.**

**But. Anyway.**

**Love you all loads. Please review.**


End file.
